should i marry him??

Question

i have known my bf for 10 years now we started out as friends he was actually dating my cousin who ended up cheatin on him he and i didnt hook up for about 2 years after him and my cuz broke it off we met up out of the blue started talkin and it went on from there anyways he recently asked for my hand in marriage i love him and care about him soooo much however this is the problem i am in new mexico he is in california and he doesnt want to live here i do not want to live there and we cant seem to come up with an in btwn i want to be near my family and he wants to be near his what do we do ?? as far as the proposal he wants me to make a decision i havent answered him yet im not sure

Answer 1

Accept the proposal & get married & live in Las Vegas!! It's right in between & all of your family & his will always want to visit you guys, cuz everyone loves going to Las Vegas!!!

Answer 2

You don't say what part of CA, but I can tell you that California at its worst is better than New Mexico at its best. I have lived here 10 years and love CA...I live in Orange County. But this is never mind. If you cannot put him above your family, you are not ready to get married. This should be the adventure of your life, yet you are both hung up on 'family." Sorry, but I don't think either of you have thought this entire thing through. If you wanted to get married, you would be in CA already. Good luck and find peace.

Answer 3

Hmmm, I think you're hearing what I thought when I read your post. But heres a new twist, because regardless of if you move there or he moves where you are, one of you is going to feel resentment.
Family is obviously important to both of you, but how can you be fair/ Why not move to a "neutral" place? That way you can work on each other, instead of either one working with the other and their family?
Divide up visits to each others families, but go to a new place for both of you, I believe (from experience) that it'll make you each grow stronger as a couple. Then once your marriage is strong, then the decision will be easier if you choose to either move closer to yours or his family.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Marriage to many is Once in a life time thing.But i ve read and constantly come across Americans dont take this as serious compared to other countries.One time u hear them tying the knot,couple of months later, they file for divorce.Before u can say Las Vegas, they are remarried.
So think stwice before u say I do

Answer 5

CERTAINLY YOU REALIZE THAT MARRIAGE IS BASED ON COMPROMISE AND YOU TWO CANNOT EVEN DECIDE WHERE TO LIVE BECAUSE OF FAMILY TIES.

YOU TWO WILL BECOME FAMILY. JUST AS IN MARRIAGE, YOU HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE, YOU TWO NEED TO LIVE IN NEITHER LOCATION AND FOCUS ON THE FAMILY THAT YOU TWO WILL BE MAKING.

I would suggest, if the love is strong for you both, that you ''compromise'' by living in the best town equi-distant from the two families. That way, you are on an equal footing. Or, one of you may love the other enough to 'make a sacrifice'.....gee, that happens in marriage too!

Answer 6

Sucks when two people that love each other, run into trials and tibulations like this situation. I think that the fact that he's rushing you to make a decision, may indicate that he's not the right guy for you, though. Take your time and keep in mind that you both deserve happiness, not just him.

Answer 7

You both definitely have to decide which you both want the most. If family is more important than a partner for life for either of you, then there's no point in saying yes to him.

Answer 8

Marriage has to do with compromise. Since neither of you are able compromise, that should tell you both flat out, that neither one of you are ready for marriage. End of story........

Answer 9

If you don't want to live in the same state and you can't come to a compromise...why would you get married?

Answer 10

If you cant come to a compromise then you shouldnt get married.