My Marriage.?

Question

My marriage in on the break of divorce. When we got married almost two years ago, the marriage was not what I had expected. So I have learned to keep my expections very low. My husband never wants to take me out anywhere, all he wants to do is go to work, sleep, eat and on the weekends hand out with his friends or go to the racetrack. I am all for people having freedom and spending time to themsleves, but this has been going on all our marriage. We never have sex anymore. I do have my suspections that he is having an affair or has in the past, but I do not have any proof. Now he goes out and stays out until 12 or 1 in the morning and he states to me that he is at the racetrack. I have talked to him until I am blue in the face. When I do talk to him he falls asleep or he turns the TV up louder to drown me out. I will probably file for divorce. I am a strong woman but I feel like a failure even though I do know this is not my fault. Can anyone give me any suggestions?

Answer 1

Divorce him and get the book " He's Just Not That Into You" - it will change your life.

Answer 2

Ugh, see I read your post & wonder why my marriage is also failing. Caompared to what it sounds like your husband isnt even trying & he's certainly not even respecting you, even if he doesnt agree. Why can't this generation seem to stay married? Anyway, yeah you guys have problems, but being a Libra, I tend to look at both sides and see if there is any room for comprimise. I don't know his side of the story, so please don't think I'm giving him any excuses, its just Ive only heard from you, so thats all I have. His reactions to your "talking till your blue in the face" leads me to believe that perhaps taking another takt to getting him to talk might be on the order. Have you tried maybe going out to a public restaurant with some privacy, you drive, so he can't just get up and leave? Try writing doen your feelings and leaving them somewhere where he can see them, close with the fact that you still ove him & want to make it work, and that you'll be waiting for his response. I get the feeling that communication is what you have both lost, belive me, I know, my wife & I are going through this too. There is no instruction manual to marriage, so the best you can do is if something isnt working, dont keep doing the same think and expecting a different result, try something different.
Good luck!

Answer 3

What you need to do is go talk to a divorce lawyer on Monday and find out your rights. Don't tell him until you have all the facts. It sounds like things are not going to get better and this guy was not marriage material. A marriage is a partnership between two people. They build their lives together with the thought of the future. Consider getting out now before there are any kids. You deserve to have a husband that likes to spend time with you, treats you with respect, and loves you.

Answer 4

I am sorry you are going through this, but sometimes we get married and we feel we made a good choice, but it turns out things just do not work out. It seems you have done your part, if you stay in this relationship it will only get worse. You need to move on maybe a separation will bring him to his senses and make him realize that he is letting his wife slip away from him. If you decide you want to stay together after that then I suggest counseling or you may want to file for a divorce, but what ever you choose to do make it soon so you can get on with your life and not dwell
GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

I'm sorry to say this, but forget the counseling and save the money for the lawyer. He's already given up on the marriage. I think you know that. I think you just need unbaised opinions to reassure you that you are doing the right thing. Don't feel guilty. If you have talked to him about it, that's all you can do. He's been made aware of the problem and apparently could care less. I believe strongly he won't be surprised when served with the divorce papers....

Answer 6

Women often feel responsible for their relationships. It must be a difficult time for you. You can suggest counselling to him. If he is all you say he is, it is likely that he will not agree to go, but that should not stop you from going yourself. You will benefit from having a safe place to talk about what you want to do with this relationship. Take the time you need to make a good plan for yourself. As hard as it may sound try not to make big decisions when you are feeling very emotional. Write down your ideas and thoughts. Share these with your counsellor. Also, talk with a trusted friend who cares about you as you go through this. Having that sort of support will help you more than can be expressed. I wish you the best in the difficult decision you have to make. Peace.

Answer 7

You are not a failure and you are a strong women because you are seeking help to save your marriage. It is so easy to walk away from marriages today but harder to work through it. Sounds like you still love him but you are not happy with the way the marriage has turned for the worse. Suggestion... you need to find out what his love language is, the book I recommend is The Five Love Languages ... How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate by Gary Chapman and Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Just a suggestion. Hope it helps.

Answer 8

You only have two choices #1 Be miserable and unhappy or #2 the opposite of #1*...

Answer 9

Stay true to yourself and never ever settle. Know what you want and make sure he knows that too. If he drowns you out or won't talk that should be a sign.

Answer 10

marriage is a two way street, and it looks to me you guys headed down a one way.
I'm sorry, if he is unresponsive, there's no choice, file for divorce. I'm not really sure why he's still sticking around, he's acting like a huge ***.