My baby is 8 months old, and her daddy is a lying dreamer. I've decided to move out of state to live with family to help me bring a better life for the 2 of us. I've recently discovered some scary websites he was visiting while supposedly 'helping' me pack, which made me kick him out. When she saw him the last time (2 days ago) for 2 hours, she was crying when he was leaving. It broke my heart. He said he was going to be back to visit, but I haven't heard from him since. How do you single mom's cope with the hard times? What helps you get through it? I look at her, and see her looking around for her daddy, and it hurts so bad inside. I never wanted to witness my 8 month old's heart breaking in front of me. How do you deal?
2007-06-23 17:19:08 · 10 answers · asked by beccalecca3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I completely understand that kids need their dads, but when you suspect that he may harm them... (the websites I've seen on my computer), then it's best for them not to be around. I'm just wondering how do you all get through the hard times.
2007-06-23 17:28:56 · update #1
I'm very sorry it had to happen this way, but everything in life happen for a reason. (really) And by your ton, it seems like your relationship was in trouble for a while or longer. But it could have been much worst. (how, you say?) Well you could have chose to stay, and things got progressively worse and the daughter be witness to that day in and day out. You raise your daughter up with your family for now, and let her know that her daddy loves her, he's just not here. And you move forward. Think about how unhappy you were before you left! Your stronger than you think..... you took a big step. And that was biggest step of all. Now you have hard work ahead of you. But don't worry, follow your instincts, listen/talk to other parents and you will be fine.
2007-06-23 17:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take time off for myself so that I can breathe a little. Being a single mom can be so stressful with all the pressure. She's little, so she won't realize this as much as if she were three or four, so be thankful. There might be organizations out there like Family Resource Centers who can help or offer free counseling. The Sierra Vista Children's Center is a great organization too if they have it where you live. Just make sure you take care of yourself so that you can be 100% to take care of your little one. You will get through this. You should be proud of yourself that you had the courage to walk away from a bad situation. Good luck.
2007-06-23 17:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by vud0olady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time w/heal your daughter's heart. If she's living in a household filled w/love, she'll be OK. Actually, she's better off than to be around some "sick" father who would have ended up hurting her in the end anyway. Too, the younger she is, the better off she'll be in forgetting him. That's if he's going to choose to be out of her life period. You're young & no doubt meet someone who w/love both you & her & treat you as you should be treated. Be thankful it happened while she was young tho as it w/be much easier for you both. Be glad you rid yourself of this looser now & he didn't waste any more of your good young yrs. Be thankful too that you do have a place to go. Lots of women are stuck & have no where to turn & no one to turn to. All the best to you both. I feel you'll be OK. He at least should support her tho. You can do that thru the court system.
2007-06-23 17:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a single mother of 2 I have learned in my own personal experience that whatever you think is hurting your child is hurting you because you love them so much and you want the best for your child..it hurt me to know that my daughter's father was'nt around and missed alot of her milestones..but he was just hurting himself by missing it all..now she is 13 and she has only seen him twice in her whole life..she now calls him a sperm donor not daddy or father..at first you will have the guilt of not having your child's father there for them but over the years you start to realize that as long as they have you,they will be just fine..now noone said it was easy but you kinda turn into super mom especially when you are on your own..and it can be done..yes you will have your sad times and sometimes feel guilty for not having everything your child needs..but I'm sure that you will do whatever you need to to take care of your child including keeping her safe..my son has'nt seen his dad in 5 years..at first I felt about it but now I feel it is for the best because he is an alcoholic and nothing to offer my son..it saddens me that he is growing up without a father but I am sure that he will be fine..I'm sure that your baby will be surrounded by love..that is what is most important...it would be ideal for her daddy to be there but I'd only want him around if it was safe..
2007-06-23 17:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You look into your child's face and know that it will get easier for them and for you. Its not easy leaving someone that you love, but its not good for your child if you were miserable all the time either. You will find you strength in you child because you want whats best for them and trust me a happier you is better for them in the long run. He has decide to continue to be a part of your childs life.
2007-06-23 17:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by bmac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in that situation before, and I think the problem isn't so much that your daughter misses her dad, the problem is that you miss him and it's making you miserable.You need to do what is best for the baby. If the dad isn't going to be around and you are going to act miserable and sad that baby is not going to be very happy. So do your best to suck up the pain and play happy mommy for the baby. play with the baby alot, and tell her that you love her often. you have to be mom and dad during these times, so you have to love her twice as much!
2007-06-23 17:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Marie Jane 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to be a part of her life then let him, kids need Daddy!! If not then, move on, move in w ur family and give it time!! Do whats the healthiest for ur child. Make a life for you and your child...you can do it!!
2007-06-23 17:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not telling you to leave.....but at 8 months babies forget very fast.
So don't use that as a reason to stay in a miserable situation.
2007-06-23 17:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just a saying it is better to live with one parent ranther than having a second spoilt parent.a child needs a healthy enviroment
2007-06-24 00:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by DIVYA N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seem.s like you have a real problemm with him you have family i hope in my honest opion you need them now at times like this. in my opion?
2007-06-23 18:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋