I'm pregnant with my 1st child and i'm 22. My mom is bipolar and hates kids. She used to tell my all the time about how she was never suppossed to have children but things happened. Right now I want my mom to be happy for me, but all she can do is critisize me on having a baby. She's also not happy that this baby is biracial. (I'm white and the daddy is black) We have been together for 5 years and are happy together. And were ready to be parents. I just wish mom was more supportive of me and him. She was the same way with all her other grand kids but I guess I just wanted this to be different. I want her to enjoy being a grandma. I dont even know what to say right now to her. I ended up hearing this from my sister. I knew mom wasnt happy about it but didnt know how upset she really was until my sister got angry with her for not being supportive and decided I should know how she really felt. Please tell me how to smooth things over. This means alot to me.
2007-06-23 17:10:35 · 9 answers · asked by gagirl129 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all I'm sorry that your mom isnt being supportive. That has to be a really awful feeling. But think abou it. You are her daughter and she is talking about you behind your back. If my mom treated me that way, I would want nothing to do with her. If she has a problem with the race of your child she is a horrid ***** and doesnt deserve to be part of your family. Cut your losses and dont let her stress you out during your pregnacy.
2007-06-23 18:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by Cruz and Kinsley's momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I experienced the same thing. I wasn't married with my first pregnancy, and I think it bothered my mom a lot. I think it's going to take some time for her to get there, maybe even seeing her grandchild for the first time, before she learns to let things go. Try telling her how happy you both are, and how you know she may be worried, but you are ready to take on all the responsibilities of being a parent. Then tell her that, nonetheless, you will still need and want her love and advice as a mother and grandmother. Hopefully, little by little, she will come around. It may just be a shock to her right now.
2007-06-23 17:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also have a mother that is bipolar and it's kind of hard to smooth things over. Sometimes, it's not what you do. It's just going to depend on her mood and how she is feeling. If she's like my mom then she has a lot of ups and downs and she may be ok with it one day and not the next. I know that you want your mother's approval and you want her to be happy, but you have to start living for yourself and realize that she has her own issues and she may not be able to control the way that she feels. She will decide when the baby is here that she wants to be around. Your mom will come around, don't stress over it, just be patient.
2007-06-23 17:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Communication is the key and you really need to talk to your mum about how you are feeling before you build up to much anger towards her and she may not even realise something is bothering you. It is selfish however of her to tell you she never wanted kids, some people blame their children for their lives going nowhere, but there are plenty of successful happy people with kids, its just an excuse. You can't force your mum to be good grandma but it is important for your child to have a loving supportive family environment so try to sort this out with her. You don't need added stress at this time of your life so try and look after number one, being yourself and bubs, good luck!
2007-06-23 17:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by misstth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry your mother isnt on board with you about this. There really isnt anything you can do to smooth it over with your mom if she doesnt want to. Its hard to deal with! All you can do is wait it out, send her pictures of the baby when its born and hope like hell she will pull her head out of her butt. But you cant push someone to do something if they dont want to. Congrats on the baby by the way! I am a stranger and i am happy for you!!!
2007-06-23 17:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your mothers illness may have alot to do with it. So not tr to force your child, pregnancy, or lifestyle on her. If she doesn't want to be a part of your life the let her have it that way. It's not worth the fight!
2007-06-23 17:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by lilbitt_637 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, wake up and smell the roses. She hates children. Plan your life away from her. Ask your sister to not tell you any more of what goes on in the family.
2007-06-23 17:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you mother will lokely never support you or accept this pregnancy. If she has rejected all her grandkids to date, she will reject yours as well. Get support from other family members, like you sister, and your boyfriends family. Someday she will realise what she has missed, but it may be too late.
2007-06-23 17:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't have anything to do with this woman. yes, she gave you life but she didn't want to. i'd keep my kids away from this loon and live a life free of the mess she seems to be.
2007-06-23 17:17:53 · answer #9 · answered by pwrgrlmanda 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋