How can you keep from looking too much like an American while in Germany?

Question

I'm going to be spending a lot of time there, granted a few years in the future but I imagine it won't change that much.

By that time I will speak fluent -or nearly fluent- German. My accent might not be so hot, but I'll be understandable.

What are some general cultural norms I should know? I am by nature a very quiet person, I don't say much and when I do I speak softly by anyone's standards -I have had this verified by Scandinavian relatives- so the loud American thing won't apply. Clotheswise I have always gone for simple, solid, neutral, earthy colors. I figure that can't be too offensive.

However, I'd like to know German table manners -specifics-, pub etiquette, bus/metro etiquette, and specifically anything to do with bikes since I will be biking across Germany.

Answer 1

sorry to say but germans don't have manners - the male germans i know are just pigs ... they are allright if you can keep them away from their Bier und Bratwurst...:-)

Answer 2

If you are going to western Germany come as you are. You will not have any problems. The most (western) Germans (except in South west) do speak English not fluently. And if we don't understand we will speaking it with italian accent ( means we speak it with the help of hands and feet).
Yeah there are differences in table manners for example Britsh do cut the potatoes with the knife Germans do cut it with the fork, but who cares when even the Germans don't know it.
Bus: put on your boxing shoes and try to get a place :-) .
biking: Very simple your bike must have a white light at the front and a red light at the back. Each wheel must have two reflectors. The pedals must also have two reflectors. Then your bike must have two independent breaks.
You are not allowed to take bikes in the railway during rushhour.

http://deutschland-tourismus.de/radfahren/radfahren.htm
http://www.fernwege.de/d/index.html
If you want to tour through Germany, you have to look for each German State in Yahoo. for example: Radwanderweg Schleswig Holstein, Radwanderweg Bayern and so on thats why tourism is in the competence of the state not the ferderation. So you will always find only a part of the europäischen Radwanderweg E11 that goes from the Adria to the Baltic Sea.

You can get very good local cuisine in the country. Don't forget to eat Schwarzbrot mit Schinken.
Greetings from Hamburg, Germany
Heinz

Answer 3

There is a good book called "As the Germans Do" which you should check out. It is designed for business people to avoid touchy situations. I'm pretty sure that's the exact title, but key word search it on Amazon and you will find it.

A few pointers I would add as an American who lived in Germany for over 20 years. Back in the day, the simple advice used to be "Don't dress like an American, i.e. wear lots of bright colors or sports apparel" or "Be reserved, don't yell, don't smile too much, etc." These days the rules have changed, especially if you will be living in a large metro area like Berlin, Munich, or Frankfurt. Germany is very diverse these days and the population has changed to reflect this. Most teens and young adults dress more or less like their American counterparts, and listen to a lot of the same music and so on.

However, there are still a few unwavering aspects to German society that will not, and should not, change. Addressing people correctly is important, especially in business. For example, never use the "Du" form unless you are invited to do so by the person. It's about mutual respect.
Table manners are highly regulated, although many Germans are moving away from the formal aspects as the taste in cuisine changes. You will use utensils for most things. Indeed, it is not uncommon to see Germans eating pizza with knife and fork, something that amuses most Americans. Just remember to eat slowly and always have both utensils in hand - knife in left hand, fork in right - and use them in unison to make things clean and efficient. There are different ways of holding the utensils as well. Try holding them as you would a pen and you'll be alright.
In restaurants, don't be surprised if other people are seated at your table. This is quite common. You are under no obligation, in such cases, to talk to the people. Just acknowledge them with a friendly hello.
There is an ongoing debate about overt friendliness. Some Germans feel that excessive friendliness, such as smiling continuously or striking up conversations with everyone, is a sign of a feeble minded person. This is probably the view of the Boomer aged people and older. Younger Germans are much more relaxed and informal.
Regarding bikes, be advised that bikes are an officially recognized transportation method in Germany and you will be expected to take part in traffic. So know some basic traffic rules in advance. You will notice far fewer stop signs, I guarantee you. Germany has a very excellent system of priority roads (Vorfahrtsstrasse) and the general rule is right before left when merging onto these streets. Don't ride your bike on the sidewalk and always signal. You can take your bike on trains with you, but stow it in the proper location indicated on the train.

A word on personal safety - violent crime may not be as common in Germany as it is in the US, but it would be a mistake to assume that the country is a crime free shangri-la. Large cities have very legitimate crime problems and property crimes are probably the most common (lock up that bike!). Be aware of your surroundings and don't assume that everyone who talks to you has the best of intentions. My mantra while living in Frankfurt and Berlin was the same I practice now in Chicago: Don't be a sucker.

Overall, just don't be intimidated and enjoy your exploration of a great country. Germans get a bad rap for being rude and overbearing - and some are - but overall they are friendly, welcoming types as long as you make an effort to assimilate. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Tabel manners: Always use a knife and a fork at the same time! 99% of all food is eaten with utensils, cross them on your plate if you want more, side-by-side if you had enough! if you dont put you menu down, the waitress thinks you have not decided on a meal yet. Tip only as much as it takes to round up to the next 2 Euros. Waitesses are well paid and get insurance.Do not ask for a dogie bag, it is frowned apon. Menu changes are not appreciated and come at an additional cost! Dont tell the cook how to prepare your meal!
Girls pay for themselfs, go dutch!! Unless you have been specificlly invited. Do not pick up the tab, unless you made that clear at the beginning. Also, to indicate, that you are ready to leave, ask for the bill, they will not bring it without being asked for it.
As for Pups: Pushing is ok to get to the bar, drastic measures to get te tenders attention are ok, too.Alway round your tip to next euro. Credit cards are not accepted in most bars. Dont drink yourself stupid like most Americans!
And please, dont keep talking about the war, like it is the only thing you know about Germany.
Bus: Be pushy, it is ok! get up for older folks, make sure you bought the correct fare, can be confusing sometimes. Dont litter.
Biking; All rules for driving a car apply to bikes. They are equal parts on the road. Cars will look out for you, as if they would for another car.
Hope this helps
By the way, most people are very open to Americans or any other foreigners. Political discussion is perceived a mind expanding thing and not meant to offend, like in the states.
Usually it comes from pure curiosity!!! No need to get defensive.

Answer 5

Etiquette-wise, just don't do that thing where you cut all your meat into pieces first and then, for the rest of the meal, just use your fork. Yes I know that's acceptable behaviour for many Americans, but over here it's not, unless you are a child and someone cuts your meat for you.

I disagree about the "act grumpy and unapproachable" rule, though. As long as you don't walk about striking up conversations every other minute, of course it's ok to smile and be polite. Just remember that your opposite may, in fact, belong to the "grumpy and unapproachbale" sort.

It's a good thing you're softly spoken - that's what usually gives Americans away. Also, I agree about the university sweaters. Sweats in general have become a rare sight over here. Oh, and don't wear shorts and Birkenstocks when it's really too cold to.

Answer 6

Just come as yourselve!
There is no need to pretend to be someone that you are not ... If you go to any larger city in Germany you will blend right in. And don't worry about table manners or wearing sweaters with English writing on them. Fact is the latter is fashionable in Germany as well and nobody will care if you cut up your food first and then just use your fork for the rest of the meal.

What might help you before you go is maybe contact an organisation for American/Canadian women close to where you want to go. They can probably help you the most with how to fit right in etc.

Enjoy your time in Germany! I promise - it's really not that bad!!!

Answer 7

As already mentioned by several others using both fork and knife at the same time and not cutting all meat into pieces before you start to eat will help you not being recognized as an American.
Actually, I barely ever met an American eating with fork and knife at the same time - even very educated ones. I would very much like to understand where it comes from that American and German parents teach their kids so differently in this respect.

Answer 8

Just be normal how you are. You don't need to hide anything when you are coming to Germany. Germany is multicultural Country and here living all kind a people from all over do world. Just feel comfortable and enjoy your trip here in Germany. Remember also here in Germany living so many Americans and this will be not change anything else.
Try to see from the country so much you can, it is very nice here. Advice from US Military Family Member.

Answer 9

Don't worry so much about not looking like a tourist. You will anyway. I can always spot tourists. If you live there for any length of time I'm sure you'll blend in after just a few months. In terms of manner or etiquette, polite translates into any language.

Answer 10

-Do not dress in white socks, white tennis shoes, long sweatshirts with sth. like "Michigan state university" on it.
-Check whether your hairdo is like the others (americans often have an 80s-style hairdo)
-Don't smile to strangers in the street.In general, don't smile nearly as often as an american in the US would.

Americans always go for earthy colors - thats making it in fact easier to spot you.For example, I saw a report on a hairdresser in germany who had specialized on american women - they always wanted their hair coloured in warm, natural colors, unlike the bright colors often asked for by german women.

About manners : observe and imitate.Germans generally want to be left alone when on the bus etc. so you can't do much wrong if you just look unapproachable.

Answer 11

Visit the expat forum website below - they have information on every facet of German life.