Did you hear about 'Tone' - you know old President Labotomy's friend? You know Yo! Blair?

Question

They say Bush is NOT supposed to have said that now - anyway I digress - what am I doing - oh yeah, I'm supposed to ask a question aren't I - or all those Y/A purists will start having fits?!

Well, I hear Blair now wants to become a Roman Catholic - so what's that all about then? He's got 4 kids! Admittedly some are not up to par - are they Euan? Been pissed in Leicester Square lately? That's pronounced Les-ter and not Lie-ces-ter for the benefit of those of you on the Kindergarten Continent.

Apart from Euan possibly - he's got three other kids that don't seem to lie about in gutters, so the Pope won't have any problem with Blair on the baby making front. Perhaps Blair feels he needs to go to confession.

"What can I do for your my son"?

"Father I've sinned"

''tell me your sins son'' - or whatever rubbish they come out with!

I'm having malicious thoughts about President Bush - I'm not his bloody, oh sorry father, I'm not his poodle - why do they keep calling me that"?

"Boo hoo! Boo hoo! I think I may have sinned in agreeing to invade Iraq father - but I had no choice - Bush said he wouldn't let us use his defence satellites to guide our nuclear missiles if we didn't help them - was it that father - have I sinned for doing that?

"Or was it when I got annoyed with Paxman for him asking me whether I 'prayed' with Bush" in that daytime interview?

"Listen my son, what you need to......"

Yo Blair interrupts,
"Father do you think I've sinned over renewing our Trident nuclear missile system - oh dear I'm not sure - I'm sure I've sinned father - will making me a Roman Catholic make it all better again father"?

Father says under his breath, "I doubt it son"

Yo Blair, "sorry"?

Father, "never mind - now say three hail marys and abstain from sex for a week for your penanance"

"That's a laugh father - I never get it anymore now anyway - she's always to busy practising her lecture speeches - she's flying off to Washington tomorrow for another

six month circuit - I'm sure something's going on - what do you think father - should I have her followed"?

Father:

"Oh Buddha!

Satire obviously not a strong point on the Kindergarten Continent!

I knew it! The purists are out in force - "Where's the question", they're moaning!

Talk about a stuck record!!

Ok here's your bloody question:-

What with Paddy Ashdown from the Liberal Democrats (for the benefit of those of you on Kindergarten Continent - that's the political party here in the UK that can't decide which hand to wipe their bums with - personally I use toilet paper, but that's another story) saying to Brown (that's our new leader Kindergarten Continent people) you can go & stick your job offer in your new cabinet - has Labour jumped from the frying pan to the fire with its new 'anally retentive' or to use it's more politically correct and/or Westminster term 'control freak' leader Gordon Brown?

He definitely needs a diet don't you think? But then again I don't think his heart flutters about like Yo-Blairs's does - however, he's had worse luck with his offspring than Blair has, which could mar his ability to perform well in the big job - what do you think?

Answer 1

Most of your post consisted of rambling (which is fine) but I guess your question was how can Blair become a Roman Catholic if he has children. What makes you think Roman Catholics don't have children?

I am assuming you are speaking of the U.S. when you say kindergarten continent? See, some of us are very bright. ^o^

Answer 2

Wow, hope you feel better now? Good drunken rant does everyone good once in a while and listening to an obviously well informed and mentally balanced person such as yourself makes my thankful for the Internet!!! Thank you.

Answer 3

OK, so you've got issues with Blair. What's the question?

Answer 4

I know you ask a question, but here is a question for you..."Have You Been Drinking?"..............