Im having an affair with my boss?

Question

have been having an affair with a man for 9 months now. Please do not pass judgement..we fell in love with eachother. No children involved. I left my husband when I started having feelings for this other man, and at that point I knew I could not possibly love my husband if I had feelings for someone else so I left him, because I did not want to cheat. My affair man has been staying in a hotel for the past 2 weeks, he told his wife there was someone else, he wanted a divorce and he loved her but was not in-love with her. I feel sad for her that this is happeneing but; I love him so much my heart says to hang in there. She is begging him to hang in there, she does not want the divorce, and he feels so guilty for being in love with me and divorcing all together. He is out of town for 1 week and he is supposed to have it all figured out when he gets back.. he's not a bad guy, he has never done anything like this before.I am just having a really hard time going though this will he leave?

Answer 1

I just gonna say this. If he was capable to cheat on his wife with you, he'll do it to you too. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. And also, what goes around comes around. Think about it.

Answer 2

This is an affair none the less...regardless of who initated this....it is cheating. Do you really think he will have it figured out in a week? I doubt it seriously. How long was he married? You know people in a long enough marriage and relationship have a lot to deal with when divorce comes to the front no matter if there is an affair or not. What about your marriage? How long? Do you realize you two are hurting people around you greatly? You think only of yourselves...and what if he comes back and tells you that he will work it out with his wife? Where will you be?

Answer 3

Do you think that your relationship with him would last if he officially left his wife? Could you handle something like that on your conscience? I'm not saying that in an accusatory way, but I'm just always cautious of these types of relationships. What I mean is if he was willing to step out on his wife for 9 months...isn't it possible for him to do the same thing to you years down the line? And if he did do it to you, not only would you have to think about the two marriages that were ruined but also the heartache you would feel from it. Again I'm not trying to be mean or pass judgment...but it's just something for you to seriously think about. I know you may think it would never happen b/c he truly loves you over his wife, etc. but I'm sure when he married his wife he wouldn't have imagined cheating on her and likewise for you and your husband. I pray for his wife's heart as she may be going through a lot of pain, but most of all I pray that you two find the answers your looking for. I believe you know what the RIGHT decision is, but only you can make that decision for you.

Answer 4

Yet to be decided sweetheart. I feel for you, that is not an easy situation. I think you did the right thing by leaving your husband as obviously that relationship was not right for you. Whether this affair man thing pans out or not is still questionable, but whether it does or not, you still did the right thing. Don't sweat it too much, not because its not important, but because your stress level won't impact the situation. No matter what happens, you need ot be strong. If he leaves her to be with you, people are going to judge you, so you need to be strong. If he doesn't leave her, your job situation is going to get real complicated real quick and as an additional bonus, you will be alone - you will need to be strong. Chin up, stay focused. This too shall pass.

Answer 5

Step back, let him think! Do not pressure him. What you should be thinking of is your own marriage. You no longer love your husband so tie up your loose ends there. Then worry about the future.
Will he leave? Maybe. But you gotta let him choose what is best for him and learn from the experience. ( Sorry to say, but if he cheated on her, the odds are stacked that he will cheat on you!)

Answer 6

Come on ! Nobody deserve to be in that position, think on his wife ! How you feel if it was the other way around you the wife and his wife the lover then think about how it will feel, is plenty of single man out there you can pick from and not been in this deal you have !

Answer 7

Sounds like you have really gotten your life in a mess. But being a home wrecker is never a good thing, not too many of these affairs last. My soon to be ex has found that out, he broke up our 30 year marriage for the company tramp and now she has kicked him out and he is by himself.

Answer 8

The best choice could have been is both of you to be divorced first and then make it official that you are both together. He may choose his wife but you have to respect that when he does. Family sometimes to people are more important. But there are chances he will pick you too. Just don't freak out if he doesn't.

Answer 9

If he really loves you then he will leave her. It's a shame that no one takes marriage seriously anymore. But I suppose one cannot help who they fall in love with. I hope things work out the way that you want, but there really is no way to really know what he is thinking. Be prepared for the possibility that he may try to salvage his marriage. He may still really love her. Good luck.

Answer 10

Not passing judgement at all here. But in reality someone will get hurt. I have no idea who it will be. I am sure its a difficult situation and I wish you the best of luck.