i am gonna go to a different high school than him but i want him to be my first and we don't live that far from each other and we've been together for about a half year. and he wants me to be his first but he wants it before high school. but i don't want o show someone how much i love them then they just leave. what should i do?
2007-06-23 14:14:58 · 26 answers · asked by SamieWithProblems 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
but i know he loves me as much.and he don't it that much if he'll wait untill i am married
2007-06-23 14:20:17 · update #1
our high school was too full so we got transfered. we're 16
2007-06-23 14:22:44 · update #2
Don't do it - having sex will only make you miss him more, make you feel more empty and leave you with regret. Make him a photo album or scrap book of your time together. That will be just as meaningful and nobody will feel used.
2007-06-23 14:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, sweetheart, you will regret it. If you're not even in high school yet, you're too young anyway. If he is pressuring you in ANY way to do this, he doesn't care about you and how it will effect you, he's just being selfish. Don't forget that you can never take you virginity back. If you're not a ho and you want your first time to be special then wait until you're older and wise enough to make a more educated decision, and you're with a guy who respects what YOU want. Plus you don't really finish growing up until you're in your 20's (trust me, I know!) and you're still a pretty good ways off from there! That's not to say that you're dumb or anything, but I know at that age, I wasn't making very smart decisions. I just didn't have the life experience to know what was the best decision, so best to not make a major decision like that at your age. Just leave it be for a while longer.
2007-06-23 21:24:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are so worried about the outcome maybe it's best not to do it at all. Besides, having sex with him will not show him you love him anymore than you doing something sweet for him will. Can you express your love to him in other ways? How have you shown him you love him thus far? Trust me when I say sex can actually complicate things instead of making them better. I think it's great that you two have managed to wait this year and a half. I think it shows that there is some sort of a foundation to the relationship. Honestly think about. If you are not 100% comfortable with it...don't do it. That is one decision, that once said and done, you cannot take back. If he truly loves you then he should be O.K. with your decision to continue to wait.
2007-06-23 21:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Taracita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and he are just starting high school. That being the case, here is what you should do before "show him how much you love him":
1. Finish high school.
2. Grow up.
3. Have friendships with lots of friends (non-sexual).
4. Work and study until you can take care of yourself and live independently.
5. Find a man who you love and who loves you. (You will know this because he will show you in a million ways, over a year or two, while you have been dating.)
6. Get married to this man you love immensely.
7. NOW! You are ready to "show him how much you love him".
I know it sounds strange to do things this way, but, trust me, that is the way to show your love and expect him not to leave you. That's your best shot of happiness. It worked for me. I've been blissfully married for 33+ years and look forward to many, many more years with this wonderful man. And I KNOW he will never leave me!
2007-06-23 21:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me you are feeling pressured.Don't ever do anything when someone is pressuring you! He will say anything to get what he wants then he will move on. 6 months is not long enough to really get to know someone at your age. You said before hs so I am thinking you are what 14 or 15. Too young. You need to wait and give it to someone who you know well and you really have deep feelings for . Lust doesn't count and that's what it is right now. Sounds like he wants to loose his before HS so he will feel like the big man.If someone really cares about you they would wait no matter how long it takes for you to be totally sure this is right for you. Sex is more emotional to girls than to guys especially at your ages. Sex is more than just the act. There are feelings involved that you won't totally understand until you are older. I promise you as soon as you give it up he will dump you and move on to someone new at his new school or see someone behind your back. He's giving you a time limit and that screams he just wants to loose his virginity not that he cares deeply for you. Sorry sweety. don't do something that you are totally sure of. You don't want to look back and regret your choices. This is something you can't take back and what if you got pregnant? could you handle that right now? I got pregnant my first time. condoms aren't 100% neither is the pill.
2007-06-23 21:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by KM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Showing someone how much you love them is not all about sex. If he tells you that, it is just a ploy, a scheme to get you to have sex with him, and in that case, he isn't in love with you, only using you as an object to gratify his sexual urges.
People who truly love each other care about each other's feelings, opinions, and show understanding and patience.
You are only in high school. What is the rush to have a sexual experience anyway? Just because it seems to be the "in" thing to do, or because most of the other girls have "lost their virginity" with casual sex, that doesn't mean you must follow the crowd. Learn to be your own individual person, and think what is right for you, and how you feel about it.
If he is so impatient that he has to have sex before high school, this only reveals to me that he certainly has a lot of maturing to do, to understand what true love is all about. Demanding anyone to have sex before a certain point in time is so immature and inconsiderate, selfish and demeaning.
If you really want to show him how much you love him, first make sure he really loves you for who you are - not just for your body's sake. You are worth more than that, and you deserve to be treated better than that.
Love is patient, kind, considerate, understanding, gentle, unwavering, and so much more, and it is never demanding one's own way at the expense of someone else's rights or feelings. That is not love at all, but greed and lust.
If they leave you just because you did not give them your body, than you never had them in the first place. Besides, you do not own anyone in a relationship, nor do they own you. Loving someone is also giving them freedom. If they choose to leave, then they probably were not truly in love with you at all.
2007-06-23 21:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by 1greatguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it before high school girl! High school is a place of nasty rumors, bragging guys and evily cruel girls. Plus if you start having sex now, you are way more likely to get pregnant then if you wait at least until the guys have brains in their heads as well. My friends and of course guys called me a prude for not f$#$ing everyone in school, and it was hard not to give in but let me tell you how it is now. I'm 22 now, independent, I run a successful business, I have an amazing boyfriend I love and have awesome sex with. I know at least 7 girls from high school who got pregnant, fat, have kids, are always broke, and none of which are with their babies daddies they thought loved them in school. I know allot more who got nasty STD's from guys they thought loved them. Sex is fun, but the consequences are worse if you're not ready to handle them. My advice is to get a good vibrator, so that you can be sure you are truly ready mentally to have sex and not just horny. I got one as a gag-gift from the girls on my softball team (my nick name was virgin) and it ended up really helping me keep my head on straight because it is hard to not do it when your body really wants to. Don't be embarrassed to not become a slut! It will be the opposite in a few years.
2007-06-23 21:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by lymmi7747 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be thinking to yourself, how I'm I going to take care of a baby, when I am not even old enough to take care of myself.
Because, that is the road you are headed down.
If you think that a 13 or 14 year old boy is going to stay around, after you give in to him, you are wrong.
If you want to have a good life, don't do this.
Right now the biggest decision you should have on your mind is, what flavor ice cream you want tonight.
I got married at the age of sixteen, and it has been a very hard life for me. Beleave me, you don't want to have a life like mine.
2007-06-23 21:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by ronkpaws 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DOnt wait till your married. but you are in 8th grade miss. Dont have sex. If anyone finds out it will be all over the school. Wait till youre a junior or senio when no one cares. And chances are you guys arent...developed. IT would be akward. And if something happened, like a baby. Your life would be ruined. And it hurts the first time for girls.
2007-06-23 21:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Bob E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your bf loves you as much as he says he does, well he can wait till your ready and won't force the issue. But if he just wants to be your first for bragging rights well you know what will happen after. SO tell him to wait or let him go it's up to you.
2007-06-23 21:20:21 · answer #10 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋