What do I need to do to get my wife to talk to me?

Question

Specifically, my wife left 12 days ago with no outward warning. Was done while I was at work. There are 2 stepchildren ages 13 & 17. I dont drink, dont cheat and dont hit. I know I was emotionally and verbally abusive in too many ways. I know that she shut herself off emotionally and I missed the signs. The problem other than the fact that I love and miss her is that there is ZERO communication. She is at her mothers and will not answer my calls nor return any text messages. I have already seeked help for getting me right but I want US to get help and be right. What should I do to get her to open the lines of communication with me so that we can save this marriage?

Answer 1

Act like a man, smoke alot of weed, and get over there and tell her like it is!
OR
This would be a good time to go on a poon hunt!

Answer 2

You know once you abuse each other either verbally or physically, the respect is over,but you can probably leave messages on her cell phone explaining how you feel, or show up and her job one day to talk, if that doesn't work, give her time to cool off and think and then give it a try again. Remember, if there is love then it can work out. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Wow, well...I'm separated too...and I would love nothing more than for my husband to show up with a dozen roses and tell me he knows what all he did wrong, what he's going to do about it, and he'll give me the time and space I need so that he can show me he's changed. I think you should do that...plus, having God in your relationship can heal wounds and bring back the love and give you guys the marriage you truly want. She probably feels that she won't ever really be able to be herself with you again and she's got to keep her heart guarded. Since you know what you've done wrong, you just need to figure out how to fix it...ask her what she'd like...how SHE FELT when things went bad, when you treated her badly or didn't treat her right. LISTEN. Then just treat her the way YOU want to be treated...I do believe it's that simple :)
Good luck and God Bless!!

Answer 4

It's a ploy, or a divorce run up. Go to your mothers, or fathers, or anyone out of town. Get your stuff gathered up, and in storage. Do that now. Then get out of town. Let her find you. If she doesn't, it was over anyway. Turn off the vocal abuse. It's not the way, you'll never win an argument with a women anyway. If she finds you, buy her a nice diamond, start over. For right now, reverse the grip.

Answer 5

Forget the romantic stuff -- she has turned off emotionally to you long ago. It'll be about as buoyant as a lead balloon, particularly if she perceives you in any way as manipulating or controlling.

You've got to give her solid reasons for hope -- that things with you can and will change.

She also wants her space. The suggestion to send a letter is a good one, and likely the only one that will work best. Tell her:
-you're really sorry.
-you're in therapy and willing to stay there until you are better
-you're willing to go with her to counseling for as long as it takes.
-specific things you are already learning.
-you can understand why she left -- list the reasons.
-you're ready to hear her out totally.

Good luck and hopefully she'll give you another chance. By the sounds of it, you do deserve it.

Answer 6

Seek professional help for the both of you. Once you find a doctor, SEND (NOT YOU TO DELIVER) her a dozen of roses and make sure you put on the card "I love you, please forgive me" If the florist don't have cards saying a lot of loving things on it, I suggest you go to the nearest Hallmark or store that have cards and send to her with the roses one of the sweetest cards you can find, if you don't know how to pick out a sweet card I suggest you ask the cashier for help. Inside this card add a note with the doctor's business card and appointment time that you 2 will go to see him or her. Then wait for her call. Give her 2 days. If she don't call, find her favorite CD, pick her favorite song, go to her moms house insert the CD into your CD player and play her song loud enough so that she can hear it. If you don't know her favorite song find any love song that you might know or hear on the radio and turn up the volume so she can hear it.

Good luck!!

Answer 7

The only thing you could do if she's not answering calls, etc. is mail her a letter in a card. I wouldn't see any reason for her to throw it out. Just write everything you want to tell her and if you don't get a response, give it up. It just wasn't meant to be.

I wish you all the luck.

Answer 8

When your wife leaves you when you're at work she's telling you that she doesn't want to talk to you.
"I know I was emotionally and verbally abusive in too many ways"
She doesn't want your drama.
Your not the father of her children, therefore...
she's got nothing to lose and everything to gain by leaving you,
sorry to tell you that?
or maybe...not.
Maybe you just deserve to lose in order to learn?

Answer 9

Give her some space for awhile. Try to court her back once you both are communicating then you can sit down and have a heart to heart talk about your personal issues. Hopefully this will work out for both of you.

Goodluck

Answer 10

you can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. if both of you haven't seek marriage counselling, then attend it together.

continue doing your responsibilities--paying the bills, taking care of the kids, working, etc. she needs time but be also a man--you may have been whip (just like me) but this experience will make you a better and mature person.

i wish you the best in saving your marriage. i know your pain.

Answer 11

The only thing that I can think of is she was cheating on you and has moved on with him. This sounds very suspect to me that you would have no clue and she would just take off with no explanation.