I recently lost my son(stillborn at 8 months)as well as my ability to have children again. I quit my job because of it and didnt give notice because of all the other things going on at that time. I really regret this. I lost my child(and potential to have children)because of my job, so I threw away the opportunity for a great career because of my loss. Not the brightest idea. I still have income, but it was never about income for me. Another reason I quit was for my terminally ill father. I moved back to the town he lives in because his health got worse, but there are no real opportunities here. I was so involved in my old job, that I pushed any other friends or family away. At this point there is no one left to ask for advice. I want to find a career to make my passion again,because I can't have a family to devote my time to,but I'm still grieving over my losses, and preparing to grieve the loss of my dad so thinking clearly isnt working for me at this point....
2007-06-23 12:35:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Really I just want to know if you would put your life on hold and wait for your father to die, because that's what he wants, or move somewhere with more opportunity and start your life again.
2007-06-23 12:37:31 · update #1
Focus on yourself and your family if you can afford it; this is your last opportunity to be with your dad. Life is short, so grab onto that.
Sorry about the loss of you son...i cannot imagine how much pain and stress this is all causing you
The career opportunities will still be there later
2007-06-23 12:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's some heavy stuff, and truly not something anyone can answer for you. Still, I can give you my viewpoint on it, and you can take from it what you like.
I think that if you have already made the move to be with your father in his illness, you may want to stick itt out until the end. I know that it may be hard to stay put with all of the losses you have suffered and your frustration with your situation, but think how miserable you might feel if you did move on right away and your dad passed away when you weren't there. you say you haven't been able to devote much time to family and friends in the past because of your previous job, so maybe make this time just about you and your dad. Once he has passed and you have grieved for a while you can move on to find some career to devote yourself to, something to make yourself happy again. Also, don't completely discount the idea of ever having a family or children to raise. Adoption is always an option if you eventually discover that being a mother is what would make you happy.
I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide, and I hope things get better for you soon.
2007-06-23 19:46:06 · answer #2 · answered by TeDiouS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
god I'm so sorry ur having such a rough time at the mo, u sound like a really strong person and these experiences wil only make u stronger. My advice is that u need to give urself time to grieve before u can concentrate on a career, bcos otherwise ul jus b feelin down and nothin will inspire u to go forward. once ur near the end of the greiving process, look on the web and get some info from unis n colleges about some courses that are available that could open more options for u, many of these do nite courses so u can do a full/part time temperary job whilst looking for ur dream career. I'm so sorry u cant have children, i dont no really wat to say to that, except ur positive attitude towards ur career is really inspiring. but remember, u can stil have a family, there are always options of adopting/fostering if u decided that could be an option for u. I think u need to really research into which career path would make u happy, in the mean time perhaps u could travel? or save up to travel? hope this has helped, good luck x x x
2007-06-23 19:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Tara B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all sorry to hear about the loss of your son.
You are still trying to heal from that not only physically but mentally.
Your father needs you and you say you don't have a money issue. If your finances permits it then make arrangements to help your Dad during in his final days. If this is an illness that could linger on for who knows when no do not put your life on hold. Start making arrangements to get Hotspice to come in and see what they recommend for your situation.
Meanwhile get yourself back on track and start thinking of where you would like to start. You don't have a spouse I gather you never mentioned it. So I'm assuming you are alone.
Get involved in a local Bible teaching church near where your father is and get involved in something. Meet others that have the same hurts that can help you to move on.
Your not putting your life on hold, you just have hit a curb in life and will be a little delayed.
Hopefully you understand that communication is the key to success with God leading the way.
May God Bless
\
2007-06-23 19:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chokolates4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much left unsaid here but what is your father's prognosis. Sometimes those weeks or months can turn into long years. How old are you? I am so sorry about the baby and your personal loss. I would be devastated and probably no one really understands. Have you thought about adoption? Perhaps it is too early for you to consider or things are too emotional in your life right now. I do not think you will ever regret the time you depend with your dad now. Can you contact some old "pushed away" friends. They may be happy to hear from you. Is there a chance to go back there when your dad dies? You sound educated and I am sure that something will open up for you in time. I wish you luck.
2007-06-23 19:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your father is up to it and WANTS to, you could move him to a city with more job opportunities. I would do th is if his condition could last for years. If his condition could only last for months, I would focus on him and what he wants to do if you have enough money not to work right now. You will never regret taking care of your father in his last days. It will make grieving much easier to know that you've done everything. After your father passes, think about adoption. There are thousands of children (older) that need a home. That way you wouldn't have to go through the infant stage of things,....still carry on your carreer and have a family (child) to love. My sympathies to you and best of luck. Hugs ~K
2007-06-23 19:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As tempting as it may be to move and pursue your career, you will regret not spending the time with your father.
Family is always more important. Your career will still be there waiting for you after the funeral. Use this time to really get to know your father. Talk to him, ask him questions about his childhood, his family, his hopes and dreams. It is time you will never regret spending with him.
And never give up the hope of having a child. My sister was told by six different doctors that she would never be able to conceive or carry a child to term. She proved them wrong and now has a beautiful 6 year old son!
2007-06-23 19:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by Laura H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it years from now. You have one set of Parents. When they are gone they are gone for good. If you have already made the commitment to stay with your father then finish what you started. A Career can be started again after he passes. If you don't stay you may end up having some serious depression issues later for abandoning your dad now. I know that today it is all about me. But it is really what is important and that's the family. Someday you will come to realize that fast when you begin your life anew later.
2007-06-23 19:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by groundpilot43061 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have your whole life ahead of you to live, and to raise a family. take care of your father, and after he passes you can move on with your life. i'm very sorry for your loss but, there's no need to say that your life is over because you can't have a biological child. you still have other options as i'm sure you know. in order to open one door of opportunity, you must close the other door for completion. good luck, and once again, i'm truly sorry for your loss. god has a reason for some of the things that happen.
2007-06-23 19:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your losses, You should stay with your father and find something in the area to help financially until his passing. Adoption is a wonderful option you may want to consider after you have had some time to think it over in a less stressful setting .
2007-06-23 19:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by idtakeny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss, but now you have someone
who is living and close to you, your dad. Take this
opportunity to be with him in his time of need. Of
course your life will be put on hold but sometimes
one has to sacrifice for their love ones. When you
have the time to yourself and there is no-one to
take care of then start thinking of what is good for
you. Life has it's stumbling blocks and right now
you are stumbling, but later on you will see that
you can put the blocks in order, and that is the time
when you can go on with your life and take care of
yourself. Even though you may not be able to
have any more children, life still goes on and you
can make the best of it for yourself. Be strong and
you will succeed. Good luck and God bless.
2007-06-23 20:58:22 · answer #11 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋