Is it right to check your spouse's cell phone and internet activity from time to time?

Question

I'm talking about even if they haven't done anything before.

Answer 1

no, because as soon as you start doing that it means that there are trust issues.. that you no longer trust them.

Answer 2

This is kind of hard. All the other answers make good points, even if they come down on different sides of the issue.

Normally, I would say you have to trust your spouse because it is one of the basic underpinnings of marriage or any other relationship. (I'm assuming you're male with a label like "Mordecai".) Has there been some big shift in the amount of time she's been online or making sure she's out of earshot when using her cell? What I'm saying is, do you have a reason to suspect something?

If all this stems from insecurity on your part, though, or you just do this as a regular matter of course, then I agree with most of the others - it ain't right. You do not want to lose trust in her or the other way around. That would be a crippling injury to your marriage. You might want to schedule a session or two with a counselor to work through this. They can help you, and make you happier in the long run.

Answer 3

This is a really tough question for people with high standards of morality.
We want privacy and respect, and we want to be respectful of those we trust our lives with. That's a tough thing to do--protect ourselves and respect another person's privacy at the same time. We also have a right to know who we are marrying, not just who they want us to see!
I don't think there's a married couple out there who has never invaded their spouses privacy at some point in time, if not for suspicious reasons, then out of simple curiousity. We want to know who we are married to. We especially want to know if they have a 'secret life' that they are hiding from us, and nobody wants to be played for a trusting fool.
I think it comes down to this. We have to trust first, based on all the other things we know about a person, and respect their privacy, until something tells us to take a closer look at who they are and what they may be doing.
Sometimes that desire to peek is subtle, from the gut, and intuitive. And even if we don't have any solid reason for suspicion, we should listen to our gut, it's simple self-preservation, and our instincts are telling us something.
If a partner's innocent of anything that we feel betrays us, then we should feel the guilt and not be snooping around in the future.
But I don't believe that curiousity has never gotten the better of every married person at some time or another. A single folded piece of paper in a pair of pants in the laundry, and we're going to hand it over and never unfold it first throughout a lifetime of marriage?
Let's be honest here! We're gonna look!

Answer 4

I actually don't think it is a proper thing to do, However, I imgaine nearly all of ius have done it. If there are issues with trust, it is very tempting to do so. Especially if one suspects the otehr is up to something. But, on the other hand, one must remember that trust is one of the most important components of a relationship adn that by looking through personal stuff, that is breaking that trust.

Answer 5

no, especially if you had no history of any wrongdoing in those areas. just think, if he does that whan you have not done anything, what more if you do? it is a sign of distrust and he does not respect your privacy at all. you maybe a couple but there should also be some privacy still. you may be living together, but you also have a life apart from him and vise versa.i think you need to talk, and learn where to draw the line. goodluck.

Answer 6

If you're bored & have nothing else to do. But don't do it because of distrust. How would you feel if he did that to you. Jealousy doesn't belong in a relationship. It's a flaw with yourself. Get yourself together. Has your spouse given you any reason to be suspicious? If so, discuss it don't let it ruin a good relationship. Good luck.

Answer 7

I've been married 8 yrs and we catch eachother once in awhile checking things. Its not bad for us but we are on the same page we do it to each other - Its not being sneaky and we both know that its ok if it helps us with our relationship and confirms a few things it makes us B%&CH less on stupid little things.

Answer 8

TRUST, is the key issue here, coming from both
sides. I have been married 20 some years and
I never once checked my wife's cell phone or
internet activity and she has never checked mine
as TRUST and HONESTY has made it to where
it is not necessary to do so.

Answer 9

no you should respect each others privacy and have enough trust in each other not to feel as if you have to do that. Would you want your spouse checking up on you

Answer 10

I do. Some people say its an invasion of privacy. I say if there's nothing to hide there shouldn't be any problems. And no, I don't have a problem with my husband checking up on me. Knowing that someone might look keeps people honest.

Answer 11

If you suspect something, if he has done something in the past or you just have noticed that he has been on it way too much and want to know why then I say yes.