I work hard 5 nights a week, pay all the bills, and i come home to my girl thinking i should have to do 50/50 of cleaning... i refuse to clean because i think i already do my part. If things don't change I'm leaving. You all agree I'm right?
2007-06-23 11:41:05 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she doesn't work, her job is the house. I think you are right but I don't think you should leave...unless of course you are just shacked up and not married.
2007-06-23 11:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you should do 50-50 of the work at home but I think it would be nice if you helped out some just because you care about her?! Also, a lot depends on the situation, kids involved, whatever. I worked full time(am a mom) my hubby didn't work. I still cleaned the house and did the laundry but he cooked the meals and did the dishes, as well as taking care of the kids, so you can interpret what you want from that and see if that helps even a little. Good luck!
2007-06-23 11:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by perfectmom88 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't think you should do 50/50 of the household chores b/c you work outside the home. But it takes more than 5 nights/days a week to run & maintain a household. You should help and pitch in with some of the work. You could pick up after yourself, wash clothes, put away dishes, etc. Both truly both of you need to come to an agreement & make sacrifices. If the both of you work together then you can have more free time to play & have fun with each other. My husband & I both work but we help each other with the housework & child rearing. If one of us is more tired than the other then the other picks up the slack. I also have a cleaning lady to come in & help me with tedious stuff that I don't have time to do, such as dusting, mopping, etc. It's well worth the extra money it costs us for this help. But our marriage & family is our top priority so we don't let household chores come between us. Marriage is give & take. Besides because you make all of the money doesn't give you the right to think of her as less than you. You two are equal partners & you both should look at it that way. Good luck.
2007-06-23 11:50:12 · answer #3 · answered by 2D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping the house clean is a 24/7 job in most cases and I'm sure your job hours are not that long. Now having said that, you are the one working and she should WANT to keep the house clean for you both and during your work hours that IS HER JOB! Now on your days off, of course, help her out a little, her job is tough too. But the key here is that any relationship takes some of this give and take, but when you bring in the bacon it should be her duty to fry it up in the pan.
Each of you sound fairly stubborn in this deal so I would also suggest that you each give in slightly for the good of the relationship and then it won't be such a big issue, I mean early in a relationship most people are trying SO hard to impress each other and would willingly help each other, sounds like maybe the two of you have gotten so close that you both forgot what that part is about, it needs to be applied to the long road ahead if you plan to stay together.
2007-06-23 11:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jo H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't work right now and my husband does. He still helps out in the house. I don't think it should be 50/50 but I do think you should pitch in and help her. Maybe on the weekends you could do some extra around the house. Also I don't know whether you put your clothes in the hamper or on the floor for her to pick up. Do you put your dishes in the sink and rinse them or leave them on the counter dirty? You also don't say whether or not you have children. That makes a difference.
Going to work and paying the bills is great but there is more to your part than that. Sorry this wasn't the answer you wanted but it is the best I could do
2007-06-23 11:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by nerakian 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am the one working- and i believe that a relationship should be a team effort- so therefore- HE should be at home taking care of business. it makes the working person in the relationship resentful if they come home and not a darn thing has been done. i do however, believe that even though i am working- i should still provide help- not do all the work. more like 20/80- but as a team, maybe fold the clothes and spend time talking to each other. or if he made dinner- help with the dishes. i am not better because i bring home the cash- we are equals.. and inorder to have a positive relationship there has to be give and take. hope this helps. good luck!
2007-06-23 11:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by my1k1mi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are no kids in the picture, right? If not... and she's just sitting at home... then, yes, she should do most of the house stuff. But that doesn't mean that you should never help out. You should cook a meal every now and then on your day off. She needs days off from cleaning too. Maybe you should pitch in and do laundry and cooking on your days off. It's only fair. Otherwise you're expecting her to work 7 days a week. And that's not right.
2007-06-23 11:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree. I am a stay at home mom and my husband works and goes to school full-time. I take care of the baby, cook, clean, or do whatever other work is necessary around the house. This doesn't mean that I think it is okay for him to come home and throw his clothes down on the floor or be a complete slob, but little messes that he makes I readily clean. I hope this helps.
2007-06-23 11:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by Super Mom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on if children are involved and how old they
are. If children are not involved, yes I believe the one not
working should take care of the house. But that doesn't mean
you take your shoes off and where they fall they stay. She is
not a maid or anything. Treat her with respect and love and
try to discuss the options with her.. Does she want to work?
Is she going to school? Tell her your reasons for feeling the
way you do and maybe if you will be a little more appreciative
of her home working she will try to do a little more without
asking for help. As far as the I'm leaving thing this is totally
not a reason to walk out on someone it kind of sounds like
you are looking for a reason to leave or a maid to take care of
you?
2007-06-23 11:52:56 · answer #9 · answered by Karen K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about 50/50....but you should pitch in a little. Watching the kids and cleaning the house is not hard labor or anything, but it does get frustrating as it seems to be a never ending job. Take out the trash...mow the lawn...make dinner once in a while. It's not that big a deal and it'll keep the peace. Remember...at least you get a break 2 days a week from your job...your wifes is 24/7.
2007-06-23 11:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mara 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she stays home then the house should be clean. The only way I see 50/50 is if you both work FT jobs. What else is she doing all day. Looking for work does not take all day everyday.
2007-06-23 11:44:08 · answer #11 · answered by JusMe 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋