What should you do if you're insulted or made fun of?

Question

Consider this.

I often find myself in situations where I am being insulted and/or made fun of by people 'for a joke'. I'm not saying that it's just me or anything. I think this happens with everyone to some extent or another. I feel like I'm being provoked to some sort of emotional reaction by hurtful or irritating behaviour that is being ostensibly portrayed and "just messing around". This behaviour may indeed be entertaining for the person handing it out or a third party for whatever reason.

I feel a strong social pressure to 'take it on the chin'; to participate in the 'joke' simply to cover over the fact that I might really be hurt or annoyed. I might want to cover over the fact because the threat of the taboo of 'over sensitivity' might get pushed on me.

I mustn't show that I'm responding emotionally to the jibe because people might think i "can't take it" and I'm "getting upset" which is a 'bad' thing.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I wonder about the circumstances a bit. There are so many unstated variables here that would help me to better tailor an answer to your situation.

It is possible that your friends have a higher tolerance for verbal sparring than you do. They may come from families that do this same thing. Or maybe they haven't figured out yet how to make people laugh without making someone else the brunt of a joke. Or maybe they don't feel so good about themselves and need to make fun of someone else in order to feel like they're okay.

Those are just some thoughts for you to consider. Since this is bothering you, you need to choose to take control of your life. In order to feel better, you need to make a change (or changes) of some kind. If you don't, your situation will remain as it is.

You have a number of options available to you. A few are:

You can deflect it by changing the subject to something completely different (which can become an art in its own right)...or you can stick up for yourself by gently expressing yourself or in a more direct manner...or you can get up and leave the room.

The best long-term option is to choose to surround yourself with people who treat you the way you want to be treated, and treat them the same way back...kind of a version of the Golden Rule.

My male coworker is a little more direct. He's pretty good-natured and brings out all sorts of rough-housing in his guy friends that would make me feel badly picked on. But he says he really hasn't gotten his feelings hurt. Perhaps that makes him a good reference point on how to alter your own viewpoint of the situation. Or perhaps that makes him ill-suited to offer advice in your situation. You be the judge.

His advice to you is to tell these people to go f**k themselves and find some new friends.

So, there you go....
Advice from 2 people for the price of 1.

I hope that this is a help to you.

Answer 2

Lets just say this teacher he/she would regret it. If it was only th students doing it then I would just turn the other cheek and let the ignorance be. But an educator has such a big responsibility, they can spread good and spread tolerance because they have advantage over others being in front of the classroom and being a leader to the children. Someone like this shouldn't be hired in the first place. Right now it's Muslims, next it will be someone else.

Answer 3

I have psoriasis almost everywhere on my body. A few days ago I was in a local pub, sitting quietly, having a drink, when a bloke (who had been propping up the bar with two girls) came over to me, grabbed my arm and yelled 'What on earth is that?'. I actually found myself trying to explain it but of course that wasn't what he wanted. Certain things do make you feel like a pariah. I am often insulted. This has happened for years. I look ill, weird, gay, etc etc and people think they can just dish it out to you with impunity. Now I think, How dare you? So I hit out. I don't think it's the right answer but I am waiting to discover what the right answer is.

Answer 4

you're right, it happens to a lot of people who stick their neck out either at the wrong time or the wrong place or just to make friends and be a part of the conversation. And you're right that they do it for their own entertainment, however what maybe you didn't realize is that they have something in common with a "group" of other individuals who would come to their aid and make things worse for you if you do respond.
I've always defended myself for the sake of my career and keeping my clients, but I would rather leave than take it on the chin. Their purpose is to get you so angry that you take action against them so that they can beat you down, to try to get you to maybe break a law or do a felony then or over time. So it's best to leave then to their own little clique. If you have to you can turn them in, put them on ignore, block them from seeing you and you seeing them, find other friends offline or just depend on your family instead for your conversation. Remember that 50% of the US uses computers so there's 50% other people you could talk to.

Answer 5

Many times bullies and narcissists use the pretense of a "joke" to insult or poke fun at others . Consider the source and let it roll off your back like water on a duck . Why should people like that "have the power" ? The reality is - sometimes they do it out of jealousy , or because they are starved for attention .

Answer 6

If you laugh along with it, people will assume you don't mind a "joke". They won't realise it upsets you, and will carry on doing it.

If you express annoyance, or you are rude back to them, they will think you're just in a bad mood (as you normally laugh along with it)

You could tell them that actually, their comments are not helpful. When someone says something that bothers you, you could say "I'm sorry you feel the need to say that" or "That's not very kind, and it doesn't make me feel very good"

You would probably benefit from some self-confidence building, and a course on assertiveness. Ask your G.P. or your local college.

Answer 7

You should not let them know they have upset you. That is what they want to do. You can ignore it and then make fun of them, whatever they might have wrong with them or be sensitive about. Or, you can leave when it happens, especially if it is a group thing. You should also be out trying to meet new people and make new friends. Real friends don't hurt you deliberately.

Answer 8

I was really shy in school and people sometimes made fun of me but it made me stronger. Now, I'm not shy anymore and I freely tell people to go f*ck themselves and everyone thinks I'm cool for some reason lol.


Just be honest. Tell them it's getting old and you'd appreciate it if they would stop. Don't worry about them thinking you are a wuss, who cares. They are idiots for using you to their advantage. If they don't stop, go elsewhere. Make other friends. If those people still make fun of you, just keep walking by or turn the other way. If you show you are not interested in their lame remarks, they'll get bored with you. Or if they say something like "hey loser!" just be witty and say "yes?". You gotta have a smart mouth with losers like them. When you show that they don't bther you, they'll stop.

Answer 9

Well, your peers sound as if they are not a good company to be with. first, if I were you I'll avoid associating with them as I don't think they are a nice kind.

People who take pleasure on making fun of individual have a lower self esteem themselves and to boost that, is to insult or make fun of other people.

You sound like you are a nice individual. So stay clear of them and associate with people who are in the same wavelength as you.

Answer 10

Try this. Next time someone steps over the mark, just look at them confused and say "that was hurtful, why did you say that to me?". Then you go quiet and watch them squirm - they will look so foolish it will be unreal because you have asked them to justify what they have said and the truth is they won't be able to!. You can then say to them "not nice is it being embarrassed". Give it try.