Mostly it's just because my son has been so accepting of the situation. The ex had this girlfriend before we were even exes, so it's not like she's someone brand new...but still I'm a little bit hurt.
The new gf buys him toys and is getting him a new cell phone, and is into all of the things that he enjoys. My son talks to her all the time.
I feel like such a loser. But, I put on my happy face and encourage them to be friendly. I have never argued with my husband about her, cuz she's quite the lovely gal.
I'm just jealous, and I don't know how to fix that...
2007-06-23 11:28:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry, I thought I was being clear. I'm jealous of the relationship my son has with his DAD's new girlfriend
2007-06-23 11:36:23 · update #1
I am a stepmother and can tell you from that point of view that stepparents are more able to be your sons friend whereas you still have to be the mother. I have two stepsons and the youngest who is now 22 always talks to me more that to his mother and I don't do anything to discourage that. I did however when he was younger never talked bad about his mother and always encouraged him to call her and to spend as much time with her as he could(he lived with me and his father) You are in an unfortunate situation and the only thing you can do is to be the best mother you can. Buying him things doesn't mean that he cares more about her. He is a kid and they like to be bought things. It is good of you to try to get along in this situation and I commend you for that. But when all is said and done you are still his mother and he loves you. A stepparent can't take the place of a real parent no matter what they do. There is not an easy way to change the way you feel and you will drive yourself crazy trying to. Just keep on keeping on and things will work out.
2007-06-23 11:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by nerakian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex doesn't have to do any of the hard stuff. It's like having a sleepover with grandma - lots of fun, new toys, 100% attention. No getting ready for school, homework, chores (yours or his) because it's the weekend/holiday and your ex as set aside time for your son. That's great for him and your son but not so good for you. Give your son a set time to call dad (at five, he's old enough to understand the numbers on a digital clock) and do something nice for yourself during that time - that way he won't nag so much and you will have something to look forward too (even if it is only a coffee and a magazine!). You can't win by saying anything bad about the ex - it will only create more demands at this age. Only time and maturity will help your son understand your point of view.
2016-04-01 01:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you look for a duel, there is always a winner and a loser. You lose by putting yourself against others and trying to measure up. There is always gonna be someone younger, richer, prettier, thinner, smarter, etc. So if you want to compete in all fronts, what are your strengths?
Actually, your strength is you are the mother. Your son knows that and everybody knows that. Show your regular motherly love.
You unwittingly think you are competing with someone to be the kid's mother. No, you have the home court advantage and no matter what others do, this is a job for you to lose. Be a good mother, not a spoiler by showering your son with materials. No parents speak the same language and share the same interests with their teenage children. Your son knows that and doesn't expect you to.
2007-06-23 12:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was to and I am glad you are admitting it so now you have yo work hard to be at peace with yourself she was a skank hoe messing with him while we were having problems so I just ended it for my sake glad I did he is a straight bum. I bought my son a cell phone so they can talk as much as he wants my son is 13 so I don't really have to deal with neither one of them thank God because it it very hard to listen to bullshit. You have to disconnect the best way to know how and let him do the connecting you don't need to anymore unless he is little. Just take it slow and get some things going on in your life and you will see your cares fading aways slowly but surely
2007-06-23 12:08:34 · answer #4 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you are his mother and will always be that. You dont need to buy his love, you need to help him to grow up and be a well rounded person. He may not see that right now, but give it 5 or 10 years and he will appreciate you greatly and see all you did for him. You are his mother and that cannot be beat.
Good Luck
2007-06-23 11:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you ex's GF was a crack whore, you wouldn't be jealous. So don't be jealous now dear, he's just another man to you now. Let him be and let her be.
Rise above the jealousy.
2007-06-23 12:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you jealous?! yours sons gf?! thats just wrong.
2007-06-23 11:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
wow, Im lost...your jealous of...your sons gf??
2007-06-23 11:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
who exactly are you jealous of??? ex's new love??????? I don't understand.
2007-06-23 11:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by beachy 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Remember this LESS IS MORE,
2007-06-23 11:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋