I need to find some motivation!!!?

Question

Well I'm a 26 yr old guy, brought up by abusive parents who I no longer even feel close to. I'm a graudate and started working at 21, was really content with my life being independant and all, answerable to noone, but my parents didn't like that so screwed up my life.
I have a steady job but live in a different town now. I don't have a girlfriend because I just can't trust anyone, I have few friends and I speak too less.
I am planning to go back to the place where I started working, the place where I lived the best year of my life, the only difference is that I was very motivated back then, now I'm not so, plus I'm older.
I would also like to add that between 23 and 25 I was contemplating ending my life becuase I felt so decieved, but unfortunately couldn't end my life, I started counselling and am on meds now, but now I'm 26 and not 22, the last four years of my life haven't been so fulfilling, now if I have to start fighting again, I'll be starting at 26 and I lack motivation.

Answer 1

You are still young with a great life a head of you. Life is what you make of it. You can remain emotionally attached to the past or you can let go and create your own future(....remember YOU make the decisions in your life, so make decisions that are to YOUR benefit!!)

Many of us had terrible childhoods (you are not alone) but many of us also learned from the experience and swore that we'd be better people than those we had experienced.

Good luck to you as you move forward in your life.

God Bless.

Answer 2

You know what you want. You said you are planning to go back to the place where you started working. Start from there if you have not started yet. Then think if you want to be there forever. You can be there for 1 or 2 years and later move on. I think you leave out bits of your story because may be you do not want to remember those bits. You said you were deceived. Well, learn from there. Do not allow yourself to be deceived again. Somehow from what you wrote, you told us of your parents, your few friends and you mentioned girlfriend. If you don't have a girlfriend then and now, you don't have to mention it. 26 years old is still young. Yes, you have to work hard but once you are on the correct track, you will find you have a life again. You need to be strong inside. If you know that someone is screwing you up, put your foot down and tell off this person. Just tell this person not to disturb you anymore. I wish you good wishes. I see that you have been asking the same question over and over again. It shows that you have not gotten over your problem. So it is high time for you to put your problems behind and move on. People can be around now to help you out. They are not around all the time or forever. Therefore you have to help yourself. I see that you have a fan. So it means that someone is supporting you emotionally.

Answer 3

I love the other answers that people wrote for you, especially taking care of yourself health wise and doing volunteer work. There's a great book called "Teens with the Courage to Give". Even though you're past being a teen, it's a wonderful book about how young people overcame intense obstacles and are helping others.

Mostly I'm writing to add one more thought to the mix here. None of the people who wrote you to answer even know you. Yet, your well being matters to each of us! You are not alone in this world. None of us has anything to gain from supporting you, so it's just from pure caring for another soul that each of us took the time to write to encourage you. Do you get that? You matter in this world just for showing up!

So, don't give up. Keep your heart open. Go to a personal growth seminar and you'll hear other people's stories of the things they've survived. You are not alone and you can learn to trust. Listen to tapes or read books for inspiration and motivation. Spend time with people a little at a time. Just don't be a perfectionist because you'll never find anyone perfect. We all say and do stupid things that hurt the people we love most, but we forgive when we need to, apologize when we need to, and go on from there. (Not including abusive situations which you can and should separate yourself from!)

Keep reaching out, keep reaching up. You can do this.

Many blessings!

Answer 4

You need connections with other people. Volunteer work would get you involved with people who are nicer than your parents for the most part.

Joining a group of some sort would be very healthy also, anything from bird-watching to book groups(there are groups that read everything from horror to mysteries, non-fiction to sci-fi and then get together and talk about it) to groups that bike, reenact wars, play fantasy sports, model railroading, paint ball wars, sports like pick up basketball or golf, whatever, just start something new that gets you involved with other people in a non-threatening way. Or take classes in something you are interested in, but make sure you join a study group so you are making new connections with people.

Lastly, get aerobic exercise, walking, dancing, running, biking join a gym and go at least 4 times a week, this is important to get your adrenaline pumping and it is highly recommended for depressed people because of the seritonins that are released when you exercise. I find that if I do my exercise early in teh day it starts my day off better.

Answer 5

let me say that a lot of people (you're not alone) think of ending it all because they don't know a way out. I would first want to know if your medication makes you feel any better. Sometimes the medication makes you lose your drive because it dulls you from thinking about the past. Why not try to talk out your past and solve that in your mind and get off the medication so you can move ahead with your life.

Find out what happened in your past and why it bothered you so much, and realize that all that is in your past and you are your own person now. It's a whole different world now that you're in, and now you need to get busy doing what you like to do, what you want to do, into the career you want to be in or the specialization you want to be in. Set yourself some goals and work toward them and try things you've never tried before, like boating, golf, dancing, bowling and have some fun. You can replace one thought with another, whether it be with something physical, or merely a trick of words in your mind to make the hurt changed to reasoning out the past. Then put the past where it belongs, in the past, and get busy saving for your house, your family, your retirement, and have fun doing some investing, etc.

Answer 6

emotional abuse is the worse kind. I don't think you ever get over that but you have to start somewhere and if you think going back to your happy place would do that then who knows maybe subconsciously something or someone is pulling you back there. Everything has a strange way of coming back full circle. I wish you all the best hope you find what it is you are looking for but after that just choose who gets to sit on your front row seats.

Answer 7

I suggest volunteering to help others. You have probably lived a hard life and maybe you need to set your priorities. I think that, believe it or not, the priority of life is to look beyond ourselves. Just think, you have survived some personally difficult times and you can sure your experience with others. In that way you will see the value and the importance your life has to the grand scheme of things. You have so much tooffer and when you do, you will get so much back in return, and most valuable will be your motivation to continue so that others will benefit.

Answer 8

I dont know if you do this already but have you ever tried keepin some form of a journal? Understable you find it hard to open up to people but maybe thats why your finding life so hard right now. So try a journal, you could keep it personal or try a web site like www.blogging.com were others can read it but they dont have to know who you are unless you want them to. Dont give up though.....other wise you will never know what you missed.
Good luck, hope it help.
If you ever need an ear........we are all listening more than you think, including myself. God bless
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Answer 9

Hie Marvick. Well to me it is better if you are going back to your own home and start to fight again about the same matter, then there is no point of going back and heading it to yourself about the matter, although your parents had abusive you in a such a little age and after high school you start to work, then it is good that you have prove to your parents that you have done it, for sure at first they will still be mad at you about it and they will fight and asked you why you have come back, but in a later on for sure they will think about it and they will feel bad about their behavior on acting in the way they have treat you, but when talking to your friends it is not good if you are talking less to them, because they might think that you are not getting their attention towards them and for sure, and they will might have a big chance of not talking to you anymore. For you to think about having a girlfriend at this particular age, it will be hard for you to have now, so it is better for you to settle your problem with your parents then it will be the right time for you to have and for you to settle down with it. Try this and hope it might help you................

ALL THE BEST........................

Answer 10

Who would you be fighting? If you were happy back at that other place, your young and have no comitments to anyone but yourself, you should go and be anywhere you want that make you happy, don't waste another 4 years.