Help me sort my life!?

Question

Well I'm a 26 yr old guy, brought up by abusive parents who I no longer even feel close to. I'm a graudate and started working at 21, was really content with my life being independant and all, answerable to noone, but my parents didn't like that so screwed up my life.
I have a steady job but live in a different town now. I don't have a girlfriend because I just can't trust anyone, I have few friends and I speak too less.
I am planning to go back to the place where I started working, the place where I lived the best year of my life, the only difference is that I was very motivated back then, now I'm not so, plus I'm a bit older.
Your feedback will be really appreciated

I would also like to add that between 23 and 25 I was contemplating ending my life becuase I felt so decieved, but unfortunately couldn't end my life, I started counselling and am on meds now, but now I'm 26 and not 22, the last four years of my life haven't been so fulfilling, now if I have to start fighting again, I'll be starting at 26 and I lack motivation or the X factor now, I know I have it in me, but I feel so alone in life that I can't really fight!

Answer 1

A female friend, a "buddy" of sorts, to go out to eat with, and pal around with, would be nice. Slowly, but surely, you can learn to trust again. You've alienated yourself from the world, and that's not healthy. Get back motivated, make some friends, and excel at your job....life is to be LIVED! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Okay, first and foremost, stop blaming your parents for your current state of affairs. Make today the day you start over, no matter "where" you are geographically. The past is past, and if nobody knew your past, would it change things one way or the other? To say you don't have a girlfriend because you can't trust anyone is a cop-out. Sorry, but there it is. The lessons you should have learned by now are "always be prepared for the unexpected, trust those who earn your trust, love your partner, but don't worship them. Understand that people will make mistakes, but that doesn't permit them to continue making the same ones over and over." If you have a steady job, keep it. Many people are not that lucky, and no matter where you go, there "you" are...and "you" are the one you need to change, not the location. The next time you think about ending your life because it seems so unfair, put this into perspective: you live in a country that most people would risk their lives to be in, make more money than over 3/4 of the people of the world, live in a better house, eat better food, don't have to worry about the next town over trying to kill you, and have the ability to worship the god you want and marry the woman you want, as many times as you want. If you think "your" life is still too unfair, then there is nothing anyone can do to help you.

Answer 3

It sounds to me that you are suffering from depression. The medications that you are taking may not be sufficiently treating your symptoms. It is also essential that you remain in counseling so that you can do some "talking" about your condition and life struggles. Sometimes when suffering from depression, it is difficult to imagine that one can feel any other way. You also need to focus on your strengths and accomplishments despite having parents who are abusive. And, 26 is very young! Believe me, you have your whole life ahead of you. You should also keep the telephone number for the suicide hotline in your area, in the event your suicidal ideations resurface. The fact that you are reaching out for help is healthy and a good sign.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say you have trust problems your asking for advice from strangers that shows progress. I know this is going to be extremely difficult but you have to forgive your parents as well as others who hurt you. Why should everyone suffer because of there mistakes? I get what you're going through. Think about what motivated you and made you happy in the first place. You are young and truly have your whole life to look forward to. Please don't give up.

Answer 5

Start here first. Blame nobody but yourself. You are now a man you must make your choices based off what's in your heart and not off what other people do to you personally. Do not live in the past it will stun your growth. Just as hedges are trimmed off and regrow so should be your bad experiences in life. And also do not let anyone take your peace when you give into what others are doing to you in a negative way they will take your peace and you will feel miserable. You need a friend but in this case just test them to see if they are genuine before you give your trust.

Answer 6

You may be suffering from depression. Under your circumstances, it's to be expected after so much emotional turmoil. Seek a counselor and get a physical from your doctor to rule out any illness. Go to counselling for at least a short while. It's confidential by law. You deserve happiness. Your parents failed you emotionally from what I gather in your question. You are an adult now and can pursue your happiness. You deserve happiness. Go get it for yourself. Don't let the mistakes of your parents be repeated by you. Seek professional help and fight for your happiness. You've earned the right. Best of luck to you and hope things are better for you soon.

Answer 7

Your one of many people in life who got dealt a raw hand. Now its your time to choose a path....you already tried to end it and that didn't work out. what does that mean? GOD IS TELLING YOU TO BE GREAT. Go and live life to the fullest. Do something you've never done before. get out on the streets and talk to a stranger, drink a beer with breakfast, take the ugliest girl at the bar home, travel to texas and go line-dancing with the married girls who wish they weren't married. You'll never know what life will put in your lap if you don't embrace it.

Answer 8

I FEEL your pain and agony. I am so sorry you are in this slump. I have been there so many times. I am now 42, I am a female, and had a very abusive life. I try not to think about it because I have a son who just turned 8, and I have to be "there" for him in every way.
I will start to help you heal by directing you to my dad. He has helped me through every horror you could imagine, including being molested since I was 18 months old, which I still remember, but my Dad got me through it by ALWAYS being there. One nite, when I was 6 years old, I was laying in my bed and told my Dad, "I wish my bike would fly so I can "SEE" you." I cried, but that nite I dreamed my bike did fly and I rode my bike to Heaven to see GOD -who has been my only father I have ever known.
Throughout my life-and I suggest you do this too, I have kept notebooks and wrote down the things I wanted. With the exception of literally a couple of things, I got all I wanted. I was beautiful, (I'm still very attractive) which I asked God for, I have dated celebrities, and done things most people will never get to do.God also knows I get extremely nervous/sick when I don't have alot of cash...so-money literally drops in my hands. I am not kidding. Today-I will make 25.00 for 20 minutes work.
MOTIVATION! Think of where you would like to be - research it- and get your ducks in a row (before somebody shoots one!LOL!) and find a company where you want to work, and move! Thats what I am in the process of doing now. I have selected a state,job,and I hope to leave soon BUT> I asked God first if it is HIS will, because if it is not> all hell will break loose and nothing will work out- SO PRAY TO GOD ABOUT IT. When everything falls into place, and it "feels" right-then it is from GOD. You will know. But to help you on your journey to the best parts of your life to come-go get a cool notebook and write your dreams and desires. EVERYTHING>including what you want in a girlfriend or wife. BE VERY SPECIFIC, that she comes from a Godly family,they do not have that "FAT" gene,LOL!, her habits,humor, all of it. Wirte down what /where you want your house, the kind of furniture you want.etc. God WILL give you all your hearts desires. He KNOWS you are in a mental funk right now, and He wants you to call on HIM. I'm no religious fanatic, but I KNOW HE has given me so much. Say this prayer" God, you know my pain, I am trusting that you guide me through this. I am trusting in You to show me the answer, and I accept you as my saviour. I will trust and follow You all the days of my life. You said if a man has the faith as small as a mustard seed.....I thank you God for the answers to my prayers, In Jesus name Amen.
Here's another thing> try to eat fish, veggies and fruit for a few days. No junk food, nothing out of a can. It will make you feel better.
Go for a drive and just enjoy life! This is the best time! When I was your age, I was ahvin a blast! I was meeting celebrities right and left! Makin a ton of money! I was healthy! Do something different today! Go to a restaraunt or area you've never been to before-and remeber, wherever you go, God is right beside you urging you on.
Life is supposed to be FUN! Don't listen to those people who are pessimistic-be around happy people,places.
You are in my prayers >I don't know your name, Steve?,but God does.
**You have to start trusting someone, until they give you a reason not to.

Answer 9

Your 26, it's time to grow up. Whatever choices that you make now, is on you. You can't keep blaming your parents for your present day failures. The past is past, it's time to move on with your life, make friends, take a chance on life, in other words, GROW UP!

Answer 10

u need to relieve all this stress....start working out, doing some cardio, start doing some yoga or some breathing excersices...these techniques have show effectivness for depression..just as effect as psycotherapy. read a book called 7 habits of highly successful people, how to meet friends and influence ppl..these are very good books
http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/pranayama/advanced.asp
http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Research/exercise_meditation.htm
here's some proof of what im talking about since u dont trust ppl easily..ill give u some solid fact...research more wat i've told ya bro....dude...ur gonna be well in no time...ur a fighter...good luck bud.