I am in Michigan because my girl cousin and my wife's boy cousin, who met at our wedding in Massachussetts, are getting married this week and we have family things planned with both sets of relatives.
One of my distant cousins, who didn't attend, just said that our cousins' upcoming nuptials "sort of redeem what you did" and, while I was stunned from that, expressed her hope that "you two can come out of that lifestyle and know their joy."
I told her she could "take this as an RSVP--we're not coming to [her mom's, my great-aunt's] house" tonight." And then I slammed the phone in her ear. But I'm still really, really upset, and I'll be seeing her a couple days from now if not earlier.
If any friends here could please explain to me why I shouldn't scream, cuss and/or take a swing at her when I see her, I'd *really* appreciate it.
2007-06-23 07:55:49 · 11 answers · asked by GreenEyedLilo 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thank you so much for the support--just seeing it reaffirmed that I have a right to be angry helps.
My wife and I have this great pattern of taking turns being angry or rational. So while I'm fuming and crying, she just reminded me that I don't want to be arrested in my frothy matron-of-honor dress. :-)
There are other good reasons here, too. Thank you all *so* much.
2007-06-23 08:28:04 · update #1
Honestly, trying to be the "bigger" person is hard but I seriously doubt that I could quite shrug it all off. I would smile sweetly and explain in no uncertain terms that "what I did" is not in need of "redemption" nor is her opinion of your relationship either wanted or asked for, it seems to me that if what was done was so "bad" nothing good could have ever come from it and the current wedding is proof. Perhaps a mention that self-righteous bigotry does not make a good wedding present and if bitterness should ruin the event, it would be HER fault, not your own.
2007-06-23 08:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
eh, forget the wedding and head on over to Alpena michigan.lol. Don't hit her or him or anyone else, you'd be known as "the ***** who completely ruined my wedding". and you'd have to hear about it for thr rest of your life. It's her big day, don't do or say anything now, no matter how pist you are. Get back at her in a week or so in your own way. life goes on. just remember that, okay.
2007-06-23 15:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by Heather R♥se 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were insulted, you have every right to be mad. Your distant (and I would keep it very distant) cousin had no right to say that to you.
In a way it's sort of pitiful how some people form opinions on subjects that they are completely ignorant about.
2007-06-23 15:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't scream, cuss or take a swing at her because because you are a better person then they are.
You still have the right to be angry, and you don't have to extend anything more then public courtesy to them.
2007-06-23 15:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by Kith D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screaming is just making a scene
cussing just proves you have an inadequate vocabulary
taking a swing is a criminal offense
Either avoid them, avoid the subject, or try to talk some sense into them (do not count on it)
2007-06-23 15:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by startrektosnewenterpriselovethem 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try not stooping to her level and be more mature than her and let it slide.
Ask the lord to strengthen you while youre enjoying your time with the relatives and eventually she will see you for the better person and perhaps even thank you for your maturity.
2007-06-23 15:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by michael t 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't we just learn to accept others choices even if it's not what we would have chose for ourself they are family and the last time I checked that was suppost to be important. It is to me because I have a son and he means the world to me.Try to be understanding ,but stand your ground in what you believe in I know I would. Thanks for listening to my opinion-sincererly
2007-06-24 15:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by bluebahamabutterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because it would be far easier to ignore her and anything her stupid mouth says. Because any actions you may take are a reflection on YOU, not her. Because any actions you are suggesting are downright rude to your hosts! Chill out, babe. This will pass. You don't have to have anything to do with the woman, but you don't have to be aggressively 'get even' with her either. Think of those others who will be at the party...please don't embarrass them or yourself.
2007-06-23 15:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Just get yourself outside and 'howl at the moon' dont lower yourself to her level hun, treat it with the contempt it deserves,never let anyone see they have upset you
2007-06-23 19:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by Croeso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you have more self respect to go down to that level and hit her, she doesnt get it because she doesnt want to. just try and stay away from her because in her mind she is trying to start something but she is pushing you to make the move.
2007-06-23 15:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by corresponding_prices 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋