I am a down to earth guy an sometimes I find my self on a different level then my fiance. By her saying she hate me and later acting as if nothing happen. Is it a warning not to get married.
2007-06-23 07:41:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do not think i would marry someone who hated me
2007-06-23 07:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah. I fight with mine sometimes and there've been a couple times the word 'hate' has been passed. Chances are you did something to upset her terribly and it was her only way to vent, the first thing that popped in her head. If she's acting like nothing happened, then chances are it's fine. The best thing to do is, when she calms down, ask her, 'Did you really mean that? Is there any part of you that does or could potentially hate me?'
Really, it's not abnormal. 'OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU, JUST SHUT UP' --- is usually the line passed in my relationship, but we're fine. We mutually acknowledge that sometimes you say retarded things when you get upset, but that doesn't mean you mean them. You should be worried if she's perfectly calm and says it.
2007-06-23 14:47:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ava-Marie Germaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What prompted her to say that? If it was just out of the blue... yeah it's a warning!
However, if it was in the heat of an argument or something... well, I'd suggest talking WITH her.
Are you going through pre-marital counseling? If so, bring it up then. If not... highly suggest it!! & If you do get married... stay in touch with the "counselor"... even if it's a close friend of the two of you... or your pastor / minister... or a realitive... it just will be good to have someone to "mediate" once in a while... but if you think you'll need to talk to them a lot... think twice about the marriage. (If just once in a while to keep things on track... that's ok. We all need that! Now, can I just get my husband to talk to me like that!!) :)
Good luck & hope it's all just a "heat of the moment"!!!
2007-06-23 14:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Harley99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are on "different levels" and she says she hates you, you should at the least consider some couples counseling. If that fails to bring you together, just remember that calling off a wedding is less trouble than getting a divorce. Good luck.
2007-06-23 14:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Ahni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is a very strong word. Some people throw it around like it's nothing, I NEVER use it b/c of how I feel about it. If I were you, I would think long and hard about why she's saying these things. And whether or not you're willing to put up with them for the rest of your life!
2007-06-23 14:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES I would definitely rethink marriage to her. Getting married will not make her change, it may make her worse thinking you are now more hers to do with what she wants. Have you ever sat down and discussed her hating you? Have you told her your concerns, it sounds like she is either spoiled and used to having her own way and then just brushing it off or she is not very mature yet. I would either talk to her or get a counselor to help out and resolve the issues, if she is not interested in getting to the root of the problem I would break it off. Sounds like she will only bring you down and make you miserable with her temper and attitude.
2007-06-23 14:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scary lady, drama queen, mischief maker, Jekyll & Hyde syndrome.
I would take it as a serious flag. Stop and really look at this lady is this someone you want to deal with forever & ever?...Remember she is kinda behaving as best she can now. Once the wedding is over she will present her dark side randomly when the mood hits her..Yikles run hard and fast!!
2007-06-23 14:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you love her with everything that you have? Me and my fiance just broke up because he has a lot on his plate and he has never been on his own. I love him with all of my heart and I will wait around until he smartens up. You have to look at your fiance and ask yourself if you would go though pain so that they wouldnt ever have to suffer? Every relationship has little problems, if when she says she hates you if you really think she does then leave her, if you think she is just yelling because she is like that then forget about it. When she says she hates you look at her and say "well, I love you!" what can you say to that?
2007-06-23 14:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember this. There are going to be much more trying times then this after you're married. If you're having second thoughts or trouble getting along now it's not a good sign.
2007-06-23 14:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by RED FIVE O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just doesn't know how to argue well. It takes time to learn to choose your battles and argue effectively. It doesn't really mean that she hates you. What she most likely meant but said badly, was that she hated the way you were acting. I said that to my husband once. I immediately corrected myself because it was such an awful thing to say. But we were young and not very good at arguing yet. I haven't said that to him since. Sometimes people say things that they don't mean just because they are angry.
2007-06-23 14:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by from_a_dark_place 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! That is a BIG red flag. Expect her to behave in marriage like she is behaving now. I married my husband knowing exactly how he was, faults and all. He did the same. Marriage doesn't fix anything, including behavior. You are just legally committed to each other.
2007-06-23 14:47:41 · answer #11 · answered by amyaz_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋