I'm pregnant again with my 5th child and I'm not sure if I should keep it?? "help Please"?

Question

we often fight alot now because of my jellousness..

I feel that maybe he's getting tired of our relationship

I have been a stay at home mom for about7-8
years now.

I feel like I lost so much to learn in life because
i'm too busy at home with the kids..
I feel as if I have no life staying home taking
care of the kids.

I am now suffering from severe depression these past 6-7 months..

I became very anti-social, dont wanna go
anywhere, do anything, "NOTHING"

I feel I have no future in this life..If I have another child..Then for sure I will be stuck at
home for good..

I don't have any friends anymore because of my
depression..

Answer 1

Take a deep breath...it will be alright. Make an appointment to see your doctor, he can give you medications that you can take to elevate your moods even if your expecting.
Your husband also needs to give you a break to have some alone time. One day a week would really help.
Kids are amazing. I also have five, and it could be down right brutal at times. But, time goes by very quickly so try to figure out the best ways to enjoy your life, your family, and the things the world has to offer.

Answer 2

You sound like you have no hope of ever being happy again. Perhaps you have lingering postnatal depression from the previous pregnancies. Have you really thought through your desire to not keep this child? What does your husband say. Do you have a family member/s who could foster the child or children for you while you recover from this depression. The children could very well end up in an abusive situation in foster homes. You've heard of these abuses from children who have been raised in the foster care system. The doctor may be able to prescribe something for you. You really should talk to a counselor who can get you in touch with support groups. Just talking about your problems and getting things off your chest sometimes makes things not seem so bad. How old are the children? Do you have family close by? If possible, maybe you could have your children join some summertime activity programs so you can get some free time for you. Does your husband know how depressed you are? Do you have sons? Maybe he could spend more time with the boys and you could spend some time with just the girls or maybe you could have a friend take the girls for a couple of hours so you could just relax and take a nice bubble bath, go shopping, get your hair done. Something to get your mind (which is totally focused on the children) relaxed somewhat. This is good, but we all need some quality time out every now and then. If you have family nearby, perhaps you could take the kids over and they could play with cousins etc. while you and other family get to chew the fat. Maybe you can start a hobby.. Start a small garden, do some sketching, join a ceramics class, do some sewing, baking and sell cakes, join a club for mothers who are in the same boat you're in and make some friends. Do you attend church, or temple, maybe that will help. Do some crossword puzzles, just something to relieve your stress. Maybe you and your husband could talk over some tea and just make an effort to be kind to each other. You have to be kinder to yourself. All of this negativity will eventually affect your children. I wish I could be of more help. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think you need to get a grip and be responsible for your own mind and body. If you've been suffering from severe depression for the last 6 - 7 months, have you been to the doctor to get help? You weren't too depressed to have sex, why weren't you using birth control? I don't know how old your youngest child is, but you might be suffering from post natal depression. Or it may be a condition that you've always had and is exacerbated by hormonal changes like pregnancy.
But, you can not blame your children or this pregnancy for your stagnant place in life. There is no way you can have a happy relationship with your husband/kids father if either of you are unhappy or unhealthy.
You need pre-natal and psychological help right away. Guilt feelings because of an abortion are not going to help you feel better about yourself. And, you don't have anything positive to say about being pregnant again or your other four children. Your primary responsibility has been your blessings from GOD and you don't seem to be able to say that you're good at it or you enjoy it. It's all about you. These children didn't ask to be born or chose their parents.
If your children ever read or heard the things you said about them, your question wouldn't have to be If you should keep anybody.
Your children's question would be should they keep YOU!
Nobody wants another Susan Smith of Andrea Yates tragedy!

Answer 4

First of all, look at what having 4 kids has done to you and you will know my answer to your question. I'm pro-choice. Whichever choice you make abortion, adoption or keeping it. But you have a BUNCH of issues that need to be addressed soon. To me, you are just a baby machine at this point. You should have and keep a child, in my opinion, because you want to keep it and love it. Planned or unplanned. But with the way you describe your life now, the depression (I manic depression so I know what I'm talking about and have become very non-sociable for that and other reasons). But that is not good nor healthy. Also, you have 4 other kids that you may be letting down in your current state. Also a marriage (?) / relationship that is in peril. You definitely need to have some help. This stuff just gets worse. If you can see a psychologist, please do it. At least once. Don't be ashamed about it or embarrassed. No reason to be. Don't let anyone know that you are seeing one if you think they will ridicule you for it. It's a very personal thing. But I wouldn't encourage another child. Look what happened to Andrea Yates? Think about how far you could be from snapping and doing something to yourself or the kids or both....

Answer 5

Terminating your pregnancy, is a decision that you will have to make by yourself. Being a stay home mom, obviously has taken it's toll on you. To start, It would probably be a good time, to consider taking measures for you not to get pregnant anymore. You have 4 children to think about, so giving up should not be an option. You can make your life better, there are different ways that you can do to better yourself. Maybe considering a part time job would be a good way to start, or at least mingle with people, neighbors that have children, or get in touch with relatives or old acquaintances. Make plans for the summer with the kids, it does not have to be expensive. A day at the beach, picnic at the park
or BBQ at home and invite people over. I mean there are ways for you to "connect to the world". Staying home and feeling sorry for yourself is not really healthy for you. I am not sure where you reside, re-connect with old friends would be good, or start making new friends would be a refreshing change. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to keep in touch with me via e-mail. You should never have to feel alone, and raising kids should not be such a burden.

Answer 6

I think you should see a therapist before making that decision. It definitely isn't normal for anyone to feel the way you do. It is probably clinical depression. Lots of mothers have very active social lives . . . I think your problem may be your depression more than anything else. Also, when your children get past a certain age, they will require less attention and the older ones can help you take care of the younger ones somewhat.

You mention that your husband (I hope he's your husband, at least) is getting tired of the relationship. That could be because you seem depressed. Hanging out with depressed people is draining! He might be getting depressed when he's around you because he doesn't like seeing you that way. After you get help with your depression and regain your zest for life, I think he will change his tune. Especially if he's already spent 8 years with you. Good luck!

Hmmm . . . I wonder who gave me a thumbs down. Probably that woman that said you had too many children. Four is not too many children if you can take care of them. Anyway, good night!

Answer 7

Please please go and see a doctor ASAP. You sound as if you are clinically depressed and until you receive the correct treatment, you and your family's quality of life will continue to suffer.

Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, millions of people suffer from depression but their is lots and lots of help available.

As for whether or not you should keep your baby, well that decision is entirely up to you, however, i recommend waiting until you have spoken with a doctor or therapist before you decide to terminate/continue the pregnancy.

Please remember that while being a mom isn't an officially recognised job, it is perhaps more difficult than any other. You have already raised 4 kids and you deserve congratulations for that!!! But you do need to make time for yourself and your husband too. Anyway, speak with your doctor and he/she will recommend the best course of treatment for you.

Best of Luck!!!

Magsli x

Answer 8

to start, i think you should see a doc for yourself then when you're feeling a bit better, seek couples counseling. i've been a stay home mom for 21 yrs. i work pt time for the school but i don't see it as a real job. it's common to feel the way you do. we all wonder if there's life out there(to quote an old song). it happened to me too. i toughed it out although it wasn't easy and found a good doc to help with my depression. i take anti depressants now and my youngest is nine, i'm feeling my life coming back to me. as far as the new babe is concerned, only you can answer that. you'll have to do a lot of soul searching and weigh the pros and cons. if you'd like to talk, e-mail me through the avatar. best of luck to you.peace.

Answer 9

first definately get help, second, I have three kids, kids sometimes you want to scream but I love them, and all, after my first divorce I was like or thought I was ready to see people I found out I was expecting, I never thought I could raise another one on my own being single, and all, and having no help either financially, I made the hardest but wisest choice I adopted her to a family, which was my fourth child, I get to see her quite a bit the family is very good so if you do not choose to keep the baby adopt the baby, out, I now am remarried, and actually had my fifth baby, but fourth child in my care, I kinda feel like that was the baby girl I lost two years ago by adopting out feared what people might say, no not at all I blessed someone then, then in turn I feel got blessed at a better time, more stable now, and finacially better, and have a husband that claims my others as well as his own, so go and follow your heart its hard but get help ask advice.

Answer 10

You don't a life or friends because you allow your depression to rule your life. Get out and talk to other stay at home moms, join groups at the library or sporting activities for your children to get into and talk to the parents there. You are allowing yourself to become more depressed by bottling yourself up in your house. If this is too much or you then you need to talk to a doctor.