What do you think, I've been told to keep quit about me being a Transgendered; should I or should I not? Also becaouse I changed my name to Myfaeia Colath that I should not have done that, could you please let me know what you think?
2007-06-23 07:27:05 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You should never keep quiet about who you are.. Never listen to anyone that tells you different. Do whatever you want to do. If they don't want to accept that so be it. Don't let anyone put you down. You are special in your own ways. Anyone would be glad to get to know you. if they don't, it their loss not yours.
2007-06-23 07:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by nancy_biri 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you transitioning fully from your birth gender to your desired gender or are you living a dual gender life? Are you pre-transition, post-transtion, in transition? Theses things all modify the question.
Pre transition.
If you are transitioning fully there will come a time when you will have to tell others, it will be sort of obvious. Also telling friends and family early can be very helpful in providing a social support network.
Mid transtion.
You will find that those in your life already know or will soon be discovering what is going on by now. On the other hand you don't really have any obligation to tell the new people in your life, but there may be things that give you away. You will have to tell your job at some point in the process this cannot be avoided. If you change jobs at this time it is best if you can to just apply for the job in your new gender to avoid hassles and confusion.
Post transition.
If you have completely changed your gender there is often no reason to tell people, new friends and acquaintances will gain little from knowing of your past. In employment you will seldom find your job enhanced by this knowledge. At this point you have changed your gender. You may have friends you wish to tell, but this is always at your judgment, you are under no obligation to tell anyone.
In all stages the hardest part to deal with is relationships. There is no fast and hard rule but it is never considered first date material, on the other hand most people feel it should be discussed before you get physically intimate especially pre and mid transition.
If you are planning to be living between genders you will have to carve out your own niche and determine which legal gender you want to live under and realize there will always be people opposed to it.
2007-06-23 07:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Kith D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Such a decision requires consideration of a few factors: 1. It is reasonable that some folks consider this inappropriate. While I do not agree, you will not change their mind. In this case, I suggest avoiding the suffering you will have when this fact displeases them.2. Folks that are caring will accept you as you are. I do agree that this is your affair and it is for no one to pass judgment upon any other. This being said, we all know that people have all kinds of views and often do not accept others.
As a non-Christian I find it interesting that the believers think nothing of accepting their faith that a man arose from the dead and flew off into heaven. These same folks differ among their selves if Christ flew to South America before heading to heaven. It seems reasonable to me that if the god becomes man and then dies and returns to life that the god may take a side trip or two. I find it remarkable to be here in the present.
I am happy to address you in any manner you wish. Blessings to you.
2007-06-23 10:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by david42 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If people cant accept who you are now they are not real friends. IF you are happy with who you are then thats what really counts. I am open about who I am, bi and pagan so I get people who don't really want to talk to me much anymore. I don't care what people say, they don't know the real me.
Don't quit just because not everyone cant accpet the new you.
I bet inside you are the same as you were before you made the choice to become transgender and change names. The other day I met a transgender person and it did not bother me at all.
2007-06-23 08:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After having discussed this very issue with the poster, (in private prior to her posting this question I might add) I feel the need to clarify some points here. I never said not "come out". Having a wife who is herself Transsexual, I certainly would never advocate her staying "in the closet". My wife and I have discussed this and we both agree the poster should "tone it down" and not act all "in your face" about it. It is a known sociological fact, that when someone acts in the way the poster has been acting, and encounters those who don't understand this disease (documented as a true medical condition), the one's who have no prior knowledge can't help but associate ALL those who are transsexual with the type of behavior exhibited by the poster. As to her legal name change, again it was just another way of displaying odd behavior on the part of the poster. I think Evan put it best, when he suggested that "blending in" was to protect the poster and those like her from violence or scrutiny ("repercussions"). My last point to make is this, the general consensus in the LGBT community, and for that matter, for society as a whole is, "blend, don't clash"
2007-06-23 08:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by Abe E 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure I understand the question, but here goes...
Keeping quiet is a personal decision. Some transfolk value "stealth" (being seen as women and not known as trans-) above all things. Being "stealth" in certain situations certainly has its uses, but IMHO, in the end it's just another closet if that's all there is. Again, YMMV.
Name change is another personal thing. In a practical sort of way a unique name will of course attract a certain amount of attention, but the journey's a long one and there's nothing wrong with celebrating your uniqueness.
More then a few of the people who will tell you not to do something are people that failed themselves or having some vested interested in you not doing it. Good luck!
2007-06-23 07:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's a lady I know of online that use to go by the name of Winterhawk... she had a podcast/radio show. She had a very deep masculine voice. She was post-op and looked very lovely according to her pictures and I understand that now she is a stripper. But still when she opens her mouth to speak, she has that loud, deep voice, there is no hiding who she is. I admire her for her courage that she has shown through living her life first as a man, being in battle in the Army, and then being brave enough to undergo surgery, and to live her life according to her own terms.
Whether or not you keep quiet about who you are is up to you. How are you at being able to handle attention, both positive and negative? Do you have what it takes to be courageous and bold? If you don't then I think you won't be able to handle it.
2007-06-23 08:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Lecia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either the person wants you to be quiet about it because they believe that you'll face repercussions from hateful people since you're transgendered, thats there way of protecting you because they don't want you to get hurt or they're embarrassed about you being transgendered like a parent would probably be embarrassed to have a transgendered child or homosexual child because they feel it's there fault you turned out that way. But it's ultimately up to you. You can be like I'm transgendered I don't care if you like me or not. If you don't like me then i don't need to be around you no way.
2007-06-23 07:42:14 · answer #8 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you should keep quiet about who you are. However, it shouldn't be in every conversation. :) Be proud of who you are, because that's what makes you "YOU"!!
Gosh! Walk with "pride"!! Walk the walk!! I know transgendereds are so much more feminine than women are and seriously, they're very admired. Look at RuPaul, s/he's absolutely gorgeous!
Everyone will know "who you are", you don't even have to speak about it! Although, we don't know... on here... because we can't see you. So it is nice to know. :-) Thank you for that.
I know a few trangendereds irl and yes, they have also changed their names. It's perfectly okay. What others say has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. Just ignore them. Because you are you, and they can keep being themselves. You know who you are comfortable with, and that person is "numero ono"... "YOU!!"
If you listen to what others want you to be, then you'll never be comfortable with who you've become, which is "what they want". So ignore their ignorant comments and just keep being yourself. :-) Because that's who you have to live with. May as well "do it with style". You're own style.
Hugs and best of luck xoxo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-06-23 11:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey
i personally think that you should not have to keep quiet that you are transgendered... if you are happy to be transgendered and you know that's how you want to live your life and you are comfortable that way then why not be proud of who you are? im a hick from west virginia who fell in love with her boyfriend in high school and got married young... not everyone thought i should marry my love at a young age... but im happy with my decisions and i'm glad i made my own decisions... if i didn't get married after i graduated do you think i would be as happy with my life as i am now (if i would have listened to those people? no, i would still be living with my parents still getting neglected instead of having someone to love and take care of me
you should be happy with your decisions and don't let dumb people crumble who you are... stand with your head high and say this is me like it or lump it
2007-06-24 08:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by organiz'd khoaz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being transexual myself I think telling people about yourself should be on a need to no basis family friends or potential partner.If somebody asks you about it tell them what you feel comfortable with.As far as your name change I think a more mainstream name would be preferable while it isn't fair we are all judged by each others actions.That said if you are happy with your name and it doesn't pose any problems for you with employment or making friends go for it.
2007-06-23 08:43:04 · answer #11 · answered by Amy m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋