Regretting a Mistake. Need advice. Help?

Question

Recently, I had a job offer that was more money (25% + more)and promotion. Because of greed of getting more money than the original offer, I held back. Because of my mistake, the deal fell through and the employer hired someone else. This has been really bothering me. It has been nearly three months now and I can't get past this. I cannot even focus on my current job and my family. I don't know what to do. I feel like I missed out and it's bothering me beyond words. I have never felt like this before. Call it crazy, but I sometimes even get to tears. Help! How can I overcome this? How would you rank this in terms of a regretful life event? Thank you for your help.

Answer 1

you made a choice, gambled, and didn't win that one.
get over it, and stay in the game. you have to play to win, and no one hits a home run every time.

if you need help, talk to a counselor, clergy, or trusted friend.
we all make choices and have to cope with the consequences.

you have a family you love, a job that pays (and where you can advance), and a roof over your head. which put's you somewhere in the top 1% of the people on the planet. no one dies wishing they had spent more time at work.

Answer 2

Everything happens for a reason. just try and see it as an opportunity to do something else.

you should never regret anything you do. everyone makes mistakes but you learn from them. you said you held back out of greed. maybe that was teaching you not to be so greedy next time around.

and who knows your new job or something else better in the future may come along that you otherwise may not have been given the chance to have following the path that you let go.

you have to think about it in good terms. make a list of the good things that have happened as a result of not gettting the job as well as the bad. weigh them and if your unhappy you should search for something else.

let the past stay behind you. just learn from it and move on.

i hope this helps you.

good luck in life and love

Answer 3

The only thing you are missing out on is the fact that you CANNOT know that this job offer would have been better for you and your family. When you are worrying about what you think you are missing, then what you are REALLY missing out on is immersing yourself and enjoying this current moment. See what enjoyment inside this current moment you are trading in for this anguish. Is it a good enough trade?

You are lost in a fantasy world of missed opportunity when you have your current job and family to do your best with and find joy with. Maybe that is the biggest advancement you need right now in your life is to realize that happiness is gained in the moment, not in how much you make or what position you hold.

Answer 4

Find a therapist and talk it out. You must be a high achiever who cannot even accept losing a gamble. You want to know how to hedge your bets, but gambling is a losers game. Find someone who can teach you how to manage real life. I know this may sound harsh, but you seem to what your cake and eat it, too. There will be other opportunities, I just hope you are ready for them. Becoming bitter over a lost opportunity will make you bitter and a less desirable candidate when another opportunity comes around. We have to be positive about disappointments in life an learn from them, not become depressed and bitter. Do your present job as best you can; the next opportunity will be even better! Wait and see!

Answer 5

First, you have to realise that acting regret does not help you.

Think of how acting like this can make your situation worse. How is it affecting your relationship with your family and work?

Ok you made a mistake, it happens, but its not the end of the world. There is something else around the corner for you and better.

You have to plan now. Ask yourself what are you looking for in a job?...how are you going to get that job you are after?... Strive to get to the next step. Believe me that this is not your last offer.

Deep breath and think positive. It can only be better for you.

Answer 6

Make a conscious effort to keep yourself busy with what you have--i.e. your family and current job. Do not think of your lost opportunity. If your mind wanders, find something to divert it. Start looking for new openings and I am sure you will find better offers. Crying over spilt milk helps no one. Just make a resolve to do better next time. Regretting the loss of a good opportunity is natural but dragging it on is unhealthy.

Answer 7

Move on.
One time they gave me more money to stay and saddled me with so much crap I did not like the job or the environment.
Busted my but for years at that job. And then the boss left I was most qualified and what did they do hire a loser to be the boss.
I did get to move on.........Told the loser boss leaving in two weeks. It was an internal promotion. Response okay.
Days before I left she wanted me to stay longer, Did not know you do so much here. I left. She floundered.
So .............. move on, do not regret this decision.
You will do well in your career.
Never regret your indecision.

Answer 8

You might be facing a hint of clinical depression. One of the signs of clinical depression is unbearable regret and unnessary guilt. You may have made a bad decision but it's not normal to take this kind of thing as hard as you are taking it. I would go see a psychiatrist. They can get you on some meds to help you get out of this rut. It happens to a lot of people. The medication will help to get your seratonin levels back on track! Keep in mind, it's temporary, and you'll feel a lot better!