my husband of 19 years went to a strip club.?

Question

I have been faithfully married for 19 years to a wonderful husband and father. I recently noticed that I have been having more than ususal discharge. So of course I went on the internet to see what could cause this and all my symptoms pointed to chlamydia. I was devistated because I only had one partner so this obviously ment that my husband cheated. I was so afraid and ashamed to go to my gyno and have her tell me my results so i confronted my husband and he said he did not cheat but i knew somthing was amiss he then told me he did something stupid. When I asked he told me he was extreemly stressed and was blaming me for all his problems and was mad at me and went to a strip club. So i was shocked that he would even consider having sex with a stripper he told me he did not that the stripper came very close to him and held his head to her private and he felt something wet. He he left right away! What should I do i find this hard to believe what do u think?

Answer 1

You need to talk with your doctor again about this or do more on-line research. Chylmydia is the most common STD and is caused by a virus. Your husband could have contracted this by touch. Sexual intercourse in NOT the only way it can be spread--which is why it's so common.

Answer 2

Your man cheated and that's that. He blames you because he screwed up. You weren't the one who said go to a strip club and feel up other girls. He did that all on his own. Don't let him blame you for what HE did. The bad part is that you have to suffer because he cheated. More then likely he had sex with one of the strippers. Chlamydia is contracted through sexual intercourse. It is possible to get by touch, but why would he finger you after he just got done touching another woman's private part? He had sex and that's how he gave it to you through sex not touching. If he went to a strip club only this "one" time because he was mad then he's went more then once. The first place a guy would go when he's mad would be for a drive not the strip club unless he's a regular there. The fact is he does admit to touching another woman (and yes he did have sex with her), plus giveing you an STD is grounds for a divorce. Even though you've been married for 19 years obviously things aren't as faithful as he make them out to be. If he can't be honest with you then move on. He had to be immature and go to s trip joint for being mad at you then he's pathetic. The only reason he gave you a lame story was because he knew he was caught and he's trying to get away with what he can. There's a secret life that he's been living and you weren't a part of it. File for a divorce and go to the gyno to get some medicine for your STD. From your man cheating not only did he get caught but you got an std from his stupidity. His lying got you soemthing that you should have never gotten. Remember don't let him put the blame on you because it was ALL his decision. To your furture may you find happiness and a truley faithful man. IN other words get a divorce and truley find happiness.

Answer 3

As far as I know the strippers are not allowed to touch you at all only with the persons permission. Go get checked up at your doctors office and go from there. Assumption is the mother of all f*** ups. Never assume anything until you prove it. If it comes back positive then question him about it and why and make your decision there. If you want to stay or not. Its not an easy thing to go through a cheating in a relationship. My Fiance of almost four years told me about a month ago that he had sex with this girl just because he knew he could get away with it. He didn't.

Answer 4

First and most important you have to get to your doctor or some doctor. Don't be afraid of what they might think of you they are in the business to heal people not to judge them. You can not ignore any infection, it will not get better on it's own, but it will get worse and might cause big problems for you. If you find you do have an STD, which you probably do, then you can deal with your husband. It sounds to me like he has made up a big story to cover some kind of sexual encounter. Both of you have some work ahead to figure out how you are going to handle this. Cheating and lying are not a good combination to overcome.

Answer 5

Don't jump to conclusions about infidelity. Step one is to see a gynocologist and get a confirmed diagnosis of what you've got.

If it's an STD, *then* you deal with his behaviors and, more important, the reasons behind them. Make sure you ask your gynocologist if the STD could possibly have been transmitted the way your husband's story goes.

Only you can know what's right for you, but I personally would not throw away 19 years of marriage to "a wonderful husband and father" over a visit to a strip club and some dubious interaction with the stripper. (In most clubs I've ever heard of, that kind of contact would not be allowed.) If he'd cheated, I'd be hurt and angry, but for me, even that wouldn't be enough to end the marriage and not consider options like counseling to disclose the reasons for his actions and what the two of your together can do to repair your relationship.

Answer 6

Honestly it sounds like a bad lie. However when you get an STD, it is only logical that someone was cheating. Now if you have proof that he was cheating, it is pretty hard to go out and say it, so then you need a story. Personally this is a bit too unbelievable to me. I would have to say that he most likely cheated, regrets it and is now stuck. Sorry about your luck, but do the best you can. Good luck!

Answer 7

Go get checked. If it is an STD your husband has cheated. He could not get infected the way you have described, certainly not chlamydia. Syphilis maybe if by feeling something wet he meant in his nose eye or mouth.
If he did cheat it was very unlikely that it would be with a stripper.
Never cheated on my wife in 24 yr.

Answer 8

Your husband tinkered with his tinker. That's the only way that he's going to get that type of problem. Strip clubs for a guys entertainment is (in my book) not that bad of a release, but to mess around with one of the girls (usually nasty) is going too far. Every guy knows what type of female usually works at those places (not in all cases, but usually) and it beats the bejesus out of me why he would goof knowing what he may very well pass on to his wife. I almost sounds as if it were intentional. I'd keep a closer eye on the hubby for a while if I were you and if that place is where the disease originated I would put a stop to his visits there or re-evaluate the marriage. Just my opinion

Answer 9

Although I personally consider my husband even going to a strip club a form of cheating on me (and I was a dancer for 8 years!), you need to go to your gynecologist first before you accuse him of having sexual intercourse with another person.

If he DID FOR SURE, I pray your love for each other will help you overcome the betrayal you will naturally feel and if you REALLY, TRULY love each other, that your relationship will grow stronger having survived this type of "test".

God bless you both!

Monica :-)

Answer 10

If you got chlamydia it's because he had vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone that has it and then gave it to you, You need to go to your gynecologist and have it taken care of because if you don't it can turn into something serious. You have nothing to be ashamed of, he's the one who was wrong and if I were you I would be seriously thinking of getting out of that relationship, even if you have been married for 19 years.

If untreated, chlamydial infections can progress to serious reproductive and other health problems with both short-term and long-term consequences. Like the disease itself, the damage that chlamydia causes is often "silent."

In women, untreated infection can spread into the uterus or fallopian tubes and cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). This happens in up to 40 percent of women with untreated chlamydia. PID can cause permanent damage to the fallopian tubes, uterus, and surrounding tissues. The damage can lead to chronic pelvic pain, infertility, and potentially fatal ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the uterus). Women infected with chlamydia are up to five times more likely to become infected with HIV, if exposed.

To help prevent the serious consequences of chlamydia, screening at least annually for chlamydia is recommended for all sexually active women age 25 years and younger. An annual screening test also is recommended for older women with risk factors for chlamydia (a new sex partner or multiple sex partners). All pregnant women should have a screening test for chlamydia.

Complications among men are rare. Infection sometimes spreads to the epididymis (a tube that carries sperm from the testis), causing pain, fever, and, rarely, sterility.

Rarely, genital chlamydial infection can cause arthritis that can be accompanied by skin lesions and inflammation of the eye and urethra (Reiter's syndrome).