I have a friend thats having a affair with a married man.His family knows that he is having this affair and his family wont tell his wife.They have had this affair for 3 years and he has been married for 10.Why wont he leave his wife or the mistress?
2007-06-23 06:07:12 · 20 answers · asked by missylynn2005_1829 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he loves his wife. Sheesh. Why would you want him to leave his wife and family for your friend. You should want her to have a real relationship with a real man. He's no good and he's taken. Does you want to spend the rest of your life waiting for this loser?
2007-06-23 06:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He hasn't left his wife because he doesn't want to.
He's the cakeman. He wants it all and have his marriage also.
Most likely, he never had any intention of leaving his wife.
His family is enabling him also. Seems they don't want him to break up the marriage either.
Your friend is allowing him to do this to her also. Isn't he the lucky guy? People treat us the way we allow them to.
Your friend needs to draw the line if she ever wants this to end. If not, she may find herself still in this situation in 10 years, still hiding in the shadows of the real family, only getting his left over time.
if she wants to find out his intentions, then I suggest that she stop just giving him what he wants, but put a stop to everything until he is free, then to call her. Demand he start divorce proceedings and get free, then she will talk. Either he will show that he never intended to do so, or he will.
Everyone involved in this mess deserves better. Your friend should have someone who is really going to be with her. His wife deserves to be set free if he really wants out.
She is in a no win situation, with lots of heartache pending for everyone involved.
Even if his wife finds out, it doesn't mean that this man will then come to your friend. She might find him fighting for his marriage and dumping her, stopping all contact to try to save his marriage. Or, he might blame the affair partner for his marriage breakup and stop the affair and find someone new.
Some studies show that less than 10% of affair relationships become real relationships later. Then, second marriages have a higher rate of of divorce than first. So, her chances of a happy long term relationship are not the best. Then, she has a foundation of betrayal and lies. Will she feel secure with this man, knowing that he lead such a deceitful life for so long, even had the support of his family in doing so?
Your friend deserves a better life than this. So does this man's wife.
2007-06-23 07:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from personal experience, he won't make a move either way until he is totally exposed to his wife and everyone he knows and your friend is exposed to her family and everyone she knows. That's a pretty humiliating situation, and his hand will be called. Then, his wife has to decide if she has enough invested in the marriage to try to forgive and your friend will probably be hated and forgotten by him and everyone involved. She is playing with the most destructive kind of fire known to decent people. If you are a true friend, tell everyone you know and expose them both. They will deserve whatever happens to each of them.
2007-06-23 06:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by golfergal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be funny but we're guys and we do 99% of our thinking with the wrong head. He's in what most guys consider a perfect situation; 2 women. It's been going on this long either his wife knows and does'nt care; or she is really stupid. If his family knows and has'nt said anything they're just as worthless as he is. Hopefully she'll catch on and really ream his a.. in court
2007-06-23 06:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by jerry b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he still cares for and loves his wife and doesn't want to leave the life they have built up and if he has kids well, that just adds to the reason.
your friend is a very bad person and should be ashamed of herself for not only being with a married man, but for one that has obviously taken advantage and degraded her for the past 3 years.
she is foolish
2007-06-23 06:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Chads Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he leave his wife when he can have his cake and eat it too?
Your friend is going to get the shaft any way you look at it.
No-one wants to tell his or her wife?
And he tells his wife he loves her too.
Just like he tells your freind.
If he hasn't left his wife after 3 years, well honey, he is living the DREAM!!
So long as he does not get caught!!!!
If this if your freind, call and tell the wife (only if their are not children.!!!!!!!!)
No one needs to know whom phoned!!
Get him in or out of a HEARTBREAK HE'S A MESS!!
2007-06-23 06:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He stays with his wife out of loyalty, and because he most likely has it made at home, a loving dedicated caring wife that does everything for him, he stays with the other woman because she lets him have his cake and eat it to
2007-06-23 06:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's getting the best of both worlds. A loving caring wife and a whore for free.
I think the better question is, why is your friend with a married man?
2007-06-23 06:10:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
why should he leave? he has the security of a loving wife and married life at home with a family who probably adores him and......
the exciting somewhat dangerous (hope we dont get caught) life of a single man with a girlfriend who provides that boost to his selfish weak ego...
both women should dump this loser.
cheaters will always cheat. they dont love their partners they love the excitement and the thrill of cheating.
2007-06-23 06:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why give up the benefits and free rides? He will leave his mistress when he finds the substitute for her. That is the game. You got it backward.
2007-06-23 06:16:52 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋