my hubby and i are awaiting court pending a divorce. we hv 3 kids together. but our eldest mentions to me that his dad keeps telling him things. for example, that doesn't love me. he loves his g/f. also that he's gonna get a house w/her and our son would hv to share a room w/her son. he also told our son that he is just like me and my family, how all we care about is money? he is also showing him pics of his g/f and her kid. from a legal standpoint, can he be doing this? is it even worth mentioning to the judge?
2007-06-23 05:16:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
btw, i am informing my lawyer of every single thing my boys tell me.
2007-06-23 05:26:15 · update #1
First neither of you should be using your children as a pawn to win this.
Second, if you are privy to information that would make a difference in the case, i.e. his infidelity, then that is what you need to be disclosing to your attorney. YOU ARE STILL MARRIED--so what he is doing is illegal, regardless of whether you are "mutually" agreeing to that.
Third what your soon to be x is doing is a form of mental abuse--he is making comments that will alter or influence your childs decisions and thought process--and you need to tell him to stop!!!
Everything may be coming to a halt, but if you can't be civil to each other, and he can't leave the kids out of it, gain emergency temporary custody of your kids and stay away from him!!!!
2007-06-23 05:28:16 · answer #1 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
There's nothing wrong with him telling your kid about his girlfriend, in fact, I think it's a good idea that he does talk to him about her and their plans instead of just letting all of it hit the kid in the face with no warning.
However, the blatant stabs against you are not right. He shouldn't be telling your son that all you guys care about is money and that he doesn't love you- that could hurt the kid's self-esteem and make him upset!
But..maybe it does seem like all you guys care about is money. I don't know you at all, so maybe he has a point when he says that.
2007-06-23 12:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by msxcheshirexcat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely tell all of it to your lawyer and see what he says. I think it will have an impact on the custody and visitation. He might want your son to tell him and/or the court what was said because that way it's not heresay with you telling what you heard. Make sure your son is ok with telling the lawyer and/or the court. Alot of kids don't want to say anything against their parent in a public forum, even if they are jerks.
Good Luck!
2007-06-23 12:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by k.ritt 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A judge isn't going to care if he is sharing a with another child so long as it is of the same sex. A judge isn't going to care about the girlfriend as in their eyes they see it as the father's attempts to ease your children into the relationship he has with this other woman. If he makes remarks that put you down in front of the children - YES - they do care about that. otherwise they will just think you are being petty and tell you to get a life - sorry about being so harsh but i went thru something very similar.
2007-06-23 12:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by jst_lv_me_alone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your lawyer. but ITS A HURT GAME he is playing by all this junk. I know lived, it seen it. Now my ex he's conned a gal with a nice 3 bdrm home with a pool in the community,,,,,,, no telling what games he plays to try to get my son to move out when he is 14........its also called my new life game, this is what I am doing, this is my babe etc. Thats why I hate divorce, my having kids days are over........ trying to find a good man is hard too so beware....... protect your kids!!!
2007-06-23 12:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbirdrubythroat 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give all this info to your lawyer and let him handle. You don't want to appear as the bitter wife in court. As hard as it is you need to stay calm and let the lawyer do his job. Your husband sounds like a big winner. The new girlfriend has her job cut out for her huh?
2007-06-23 12:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hearsay and I doubt he will allow it unless your husband is being sued on grounds of adultry. When I filed for divorce, my lawyer said I could do as I pleased as far as date or play the single game, just keep it as clean as possible for we didn't want any dirt slung in the judges chambers.
2007-06-23 12:41:07 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him telling your son these things may not be the best thing to do but there is nothing illegal about it.
He might be doing it just so that it gets back to you to see what your response will be.
I say if you want to be divorced from this guy then you should just leave it be. He may be acting immaturely but it doesn't mean that you have to.
2007-06-23 12:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by glbenner 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I Realy Dont Know it depends on ur judge i think hes scared infact he is he doesnt want to lose contact with his children or the older one is wha tit sounds like wh bother let it be and mention it dont u have lawyers or sums tuff meotion it to one or somthing or attoreny i dont kno diff but mention and see waht they say sorry
2007-06-23 12:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why couldn't he tell you son this? People tell their children all kinds of things and its legal, however I do not believe its moral.
You need to document things when your son tells you them. You need to do the work, not your son. Putting him in the middle is just as immoral as what your husband is doing.
2007-06-23 12:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋