Why do you hate feminism?

Question

I have a theory:
Those who hate feminism, do so because they don't like being made to feel guilty for things that they are not personally responsible for. It could also be a resistance to the guilt that comes with acknowledging one's privilege.

Just so you know, privilege doesn’t mean that you are a bad person, and doesn’t mean that your life is easy, it just means that in certain situations, you are given advantages over people who are not part of your privileged group. If something goes badly for you and you are the one with the privilege, imagine how it goes for the one without it!

to sum up: why do you hate feminism (if you do) and how does my theory strike you?

Robinson: privilege works on a continuum, some things increase it and some things decrease it. So yes, your race can lessen the privileges you receive for being male. just as my sexual orientation and gender decrease my privilege for being white. Privilege arguments arent about lowering standards, its about perspective. recognizing privilege helps us to look more realistically at where the other person is coming from. Also, if you think it is about lower or higher standards, chew on this: is it possible that those standards are a result of these privileges?

I never said you SHOULD feel guilty, in fact, i believe i said the opposite. so dont ask me why men SHOULD be made to feel guilty, but ask why you or other men you know feel this way. You feel guilty and you hate it because you know you personally have never engaged in these things that the movement and the members of it that you have issues with are complaining about. You have proved my theory in regards to your perspectiv

fraxinus: im addressing the people who claim to hate feminism or feminists. I am well aware of what feminism is, and what it's intentions are, I just have a few theories about intolerance of a fairly benign ideology.

Answer 1

Never have hated feminism, on the whole. When I was a little kid (with more budding interest in linguistics than sociology), I thought it was weird that "men" went out with "girls" even tho they were essentially the same age. I subscribed to the "radical idea that women are human beings/people" before it was on bumper stickers and buttons.

Nevertheless, I'm a white male baby-boomer. But I was also a male Kelly Girl in the '80s (Not that Kelly was officially still using the phrase then for its clerical workers.) And I'm gay. And a Catholic in the overwhelmingly Mormon state of Utah. So I know both sides of privilege.

I do hate various sorts of *virulent* so-called feminism. For instance:
* The belief that LITERALLY everything in our society is negatively impacted by the oppressive patriarchy--an explicit or implicit basis of some streams of literary criticism.
* The attitude that both men and women should act more like women in all situations. (The reverse is equally stupid, and perhaps more often held, but much less frequently argued for--at least in public.)
* The henpeckery that leads to T-shirts reading, "If a man speaks in the forest, but there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?" Of course, implementing true feminism would eliminate that.

Answer 2

Because of the connotations associated with it today. Feminism somewhere along the line has become less about equality and more 'women are the better sex' 'women should not have children because it demeans them' etc etc. OFC this is this a view taken only by some extreme 'feminists' and is in fact the total opposite of what feminism stands for; which, as you said, is equality for all - Women AND men and the choice and chance to do what you want. A lot of people today believe that feminism stands for the extreme views that I mentioned, and so do not associate themselves with feminism or call themselves feminists. This does not mean they do not believe in equality for men and women; it merely means that the true meaning of feminism has become a warped version of what it once was and so many people do not wish to be part of 'feminism' today.

Answer 3

I dont hate the philosophy and the emotions behind this movement.Since i came to WS i have developed some deep bonds some with great ladies who are also feminists.

Feminism is not an object of hatred or a backlash(that was in 60s,70s,80s).However there are exceptions and some within this movement are definitely giving it a real bad name.Majority without doubt are doing good.

Its the few in this movement coupled with politicians.Unless feminists make their philosophy clear to the masses the politicians are going to make them the scape goats for their own corrupt inability to implement real justice and equality.

The female gender was suppressed no doubt in the past.

But to make the present generation of males to feel guilty of the past is nothing short of petty vengance and spite.

To say nothing when there is rampant discrimination against men in divorce courts,punishments and jobs,media.

As far as privileges go , is a tag ever going to help monorities or the female gender to be absorbed in mainstream???

Would there be any inequality and justice if fundamental rights and duties of citizens were actually protected by politicans and goverment?

What i hate is the political aspect where this movement leads to polarization in forms of exclusive groups like feminists,liberals,chauvnists etc.

The word man and woman have started symbolizing different races for gods sake!!!

A movement that started on ideals of justice,equality now finds itself advocating groupism rather than harmonious blending of both genders.

The modern and future feminists will have to seriously rethink about their final objective which is now very near.

Do they want polarizations and groupism?

OR

Love and harmony between the genders so that they can live their lives peacfully.

Beleive me dear lady times have changed if only the feminists take one step towards harmony the present generation of the male gender will respond tenfold(There are exceptions of course and men are not an exception to exceptions)!!

Lets talk and connect!!!!!

Answer 4

About that "privilege..."

I'm half black. Does that mean my privilege is gone or reduced? Since I'm a male, I guess I still must have enough of it...

What should be done about this privilege you speak of? Is it fair to lower the standards for women because men (especially white ones) have this privilege?

Also, why SHOULD they be made guilty for things they aren't responsible for? I understand that women didn't have the right to vote 100 years ago. Does that mean I should somehow try to make up for the mistakes that my grandfather didn't even have anything to do with, considering that he was the descendant of a slave?

Do women not have "privilege" also? Are they not allowed certain advantages in social life that men are not? Here's a nice example- "Get over it and be a man" would certainly never be words one would say to a crying woman, although showers of reassurance would be quite possible. Whether or not that has to do with patriarchal definition is unimportant, as the male privilege you speak of is also based upon patriarchal definition.

In reality, nobody has a problem with feminism's basic principles today (or rather, if they do, they are the true misogynists). It doesn't make any logical sense to disagree with women holding equal rights and opportunities, since they contribute to economies, families, and all manners of positions.

People have a bit of a problem when feminism grows to be associated with liberal ideologies. Can one be a feminist while ignoring animal rights? Can one be a feminist while supporting Republicans? Can one be a feminist yet disagree with the current state of feminism, which is mostly the fault of the older feminist generation?

If the answer to these questions (they should all have precisely the same affirmative answer) is debated amongst feminists in real life, I can imagine why people would have a problem with certain "extended" feminist ideologies.

I had better answer the question, though: I do not "hate" feminism, I merely dislike certain branches of feminist thought and said branches' adherents.

Answer 5

I agree, although I would put a more cynical spin on it.

People who have charmed lives often want to believe that it is for a better reason than "chance" or the bad behaviour of their ancestors. Patriots like to believe that their own country is superior to all others as the implication is that they are of "better stock". This is of course bollocks. We are the same species and cross-continental disparities in wealth and power are the consequence of various accidents of history and geography - e.g. access to resources and the opportunity to exploit them, climate, diseases etc. Instead of recognizing these realities, cultures create stories that validate their own existence. Patriots do not want to believe that these self-justificatory myths are falsehoods.

Similarly*, the feminist movement invokes the uncomfortable notion (for some) that just because society is structured a certain way doesn't mean that it ought to be that way. The implication of course being that the privileged may have to give up their privileges as they don't have a good reason for having them.

* I cannot say this word for the life in me.

Answer 6

My first comment is to Heinz. You have to remember that "femininity" varies from culture to culture. Also, Americans are a much more diverse people than where you are, and your comment makes that pretty obvious to me. We have issues here most countries will never face due to our diversity. You can't honestly think that we Native American people, for example, have the exact same priviliges full-blooded whites do in this culture. You, being a white man, would be seen as inherently superior to me, a Native American woman. Here in the US, you'd get the better jobs and have more money.

And now for the answer to the question. I honestly think those who hate feminism are from cultures that don't make the allowances for women that mine does. Matriarchal cultures look at that and say "It's about time those people finally caught up to us!" What mainstream people call feminism, Southeastern Native women and many other Native women call tradition.

Answer 7

Basic sociology. There are three types of personalities:
Tradition directed
Inner directed
other directed.

A person who is tradition directed will object to feminism on the grounds that "We've always done it this way."

An "other directed" person will ask, "What's everybody else doing?" If he's among people that are pro or anti feminist, he'll go which way the wind is blowing.

An inner-directed person will make up his own mind based on his own experience. It may not seem rational to you. People are non-rational. It would be helpful if you could just accept that.

I think that comes close to the hidden meaning of your question, "Why are people like that?"

Answer 8

I think all human beings vary in the privledges afforded to them and that there is no point in envying another mans shoes.

I dislike the way women have become as rationalized as men ,intellectualism at the expense of intuition or wisdom.

I have become that way myself - I intellectualise everything,reason by nature curbs and limits emotion.I see a society now that is less emotional,less empathetic,more intellectual and less wise.

Answer 9

I don't know who you are addressing - it's certainly not me. Feminism is the proper study of women's history and if we are lucky, we can plot our progress from early campaigners who had no name but their own personal dissent. When my wave of feminism rolled on to the library shelves in the 60s and 70s, the intention was to improve life for us all - men as well - but as all dissent by women is automatically treated with violence and scorn, women found themselves figures of fun yet again. It was disheartening, but luckily our time coincided with women's further education and financial independence. If men objected to women voting with their feet,we had proof that living with men is expensive and tiring, even with lower wages, women could this time afford to be independent.

It is probably domestic life in the west that has disturbed our young men, and men of the old orders. Their power and self-esteem depended on the subjection of women, so it takes a bit of getting used to. It's not over yet.

Answer 10

I'm a woman and I'll tell you what I don't like about feminism. It seems they try to put all females in a BOX, and dictate what I want in life as a woman. They try to enforce rules and change laws that I feel are a detriment to my family and what I feel my role in life as a female is. Often times $$$ before family, or the ability to earn. I prefer to decide for myself what is important to me and how I live my life, rather than being forced out of my home or a role I choose by some begrudged females.
Positive have been contributed as mentioned above voting and equal rights but it goes beyond that to interference now.
Be blessed!

*** Thumbs down me all day. But it's a sucker that gets TOLD what is important to them in life, and to chase after $$$$ while someone else raises you kids. I'm not the one, and my guess is that I am older than allot of females on this forum. I've seen feminists literally tear the family unit apart, with their causes.
Modern day feminists need to stop worrying about telling woman as a whole what they should think is important in life, and spend more time, untangling each others panties, so we can all live happily how we are comfortable.