I think my BF may be using drugs?

Question

I have ongoing issues with my fiance.
He just acts really sketchy and Ive had cheating suspicions and such but I really dont believe that that is it. Ive told him there is something he is not telling me but he denies it. Ive joked to myself that he is like in a gang or an international spy or something. Even a dealer. But it has only occurred to me now he could be using.
He has said he has had drug problems in the past (from heroin to coke to pills) He smokes weed and is fine with me knowing that. Though he often says he has to work late (relieving CEO for a big company) He works bizarre hours an long hours. He never has any money an is stayin with a friend though he earns all this money I never see it. He is always walking out and on phone. He looks always on edge. Though he got really angry when I had a pill recently and nearly left me cause of it.. How can I tell? Ive heard you can smell it with some drugs? I just want to find out. Help him. Any advice?

Also what I can do to... to know for sure or how I can catch him out or let him know i know. Asking him directly will make it worse and him just get defensive

No i have explored that option and it just doesnt seem like it hey. Im sure he isnt cheating

Answer 1

Trust your instincts. They're usually right. And his behaviour sounds like he's a druggie. Have you ever been to where he lives? Have you seen his place? The things you mentioned above are also signs that he has another woman.

The fact that he never has any money should be a huge red flag. Why do you think he walks out to talk on the phone? He's hiding something from you. Ever been to where he works? Have you ever even driven by the building where he supposedly lives or works?

Shadow him a few times, or get a friend to do it for you. He's up to no good. Could be dealing. Get rid of him NOW.

Answer 2

Drugs are a big deal and the problem with cocaine is that it is very illegal and can kill you. It is also very addictive and has horrible withdraws. My main concern would be, yes, he is only doing it every 6 weeks right now but that could change into a every day thing and then the problem would turn into him needing it and living off of the drug. Right now, you are probably his first priority because it sounds like you two have a great relationship. But that could soon change i he gets too addicted to Coke. He will start stealing from you and anyone else to get his fix, he will ditch you constantly to get his fix and his appearance will start to change. I suggest. since you two are so close and have great communication skills, I would talk to him about this and give him your concerns. If you two are to start a family in the future, he can't have drugs around that baby because you will get that child taken away from you.

Answer 3

You are right to be concerned about what you are seeing. You have a HUGE list of things that should scare the crap out of you and make you NOT want to marry this guy.

And this is probably not what you want to hear..........


but you need to leave this guy as soon as you can. He has no money and walks around on edge. That's a pretty good sign of drug use.

Catching him doing drugs..... finding out that he is using... isn't going to do you any good. Do you want to be right that badly? What's the point?

Addicts... my ex wife is an addict. She hated if I had a beer... but for her, rails of meth were okay. Your boyfriend freaks because you took a pill.... but probably has no problems doing whatever drugs he is doing. He sees his addiction in everyone else. And... he always will... unless he gets help.

Meanwhile though, I am betting you are co-dependant and he's using that as an excuse to keep doing what he is doing. Would you walk away from him if that gave him the motivation to get clean? Think about that...........

Answer 4

Hey, I was in a situation like that.. still am actually, my fiance and boyfriend of 6 years has been addicted to meth for a long time now, I used to use with him but had gotten clean. I was lied to and told that he was clean and unfortuantly I believed him. But when I found out I was really upset but then I thought about I was happy when I didn't "know" so I just go about it as if I never found out. I have him hide it from me I guess you could say. I know its HORRIBLE advise but there is nothing that you can really do to get him clean, trust me I've spent years trying. He will only be clean when he wants to and is ready. If he cannot for you then make your choice if you want to deal with it or not.

Answer 5

Warning signs of possible drug use include:

* sudden changes in mood from happy and alert to sullen and moody
* aggressive or irritable behaviour which is out of character
* unusual sleep patterns or difficulty in sleeping
* unusually secretive behaviour or lying
* money going missing or belongings being sold
* unusual objects found, such as powders, capsules, scorched tinfoil, empty plastic bags smelling of glue or repeatedly folded small pieces of paper.
from another site

.Increased secrecy about possessions or activities.
Use of incense, room deodorant, or perfume to
hide smoke or chemical odors.
Subtle changes in conversations with friends,
more secretive using coded language. “Four
twenty” is a code name for a time to get high.
Change in clothing choices: new fascination with
clothes that highlight drug use.
Evidence of drug paraphernalia, such as pipes,
rolling papers.
Bottles of eye drops, used to mask blood shot eyes,
or dilated pupils.

Answer 6

call his boss and you will find out he is lying to you.
you need to leave him or you could get hurt.be careful and if you leave him make sure you have someone with you when you tell him your out of there.good luck be safe

Answer 7

god damn, watch him at night? wtf?

Cocaine does make you very paranoid (i dont do it i know people)
But maybe its not drugs, maybe hes just cheating on you.

Answer 8

LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!! HE'S TOO DANGEROUS! ALSO, CALL THE COPS AND HAVE THEM SECRETLY WATCH HIM AT NIGHT! GOOD LUCK!