How do you feel about my theory of natural selection.?

Question

Belly button topography divides the human species into two distinct populations which I have labelled “innies” and “outies”. I have spent my holidays on beaches all around the world collecting data. I noticed that when I plotted the proportions of innies and outies in indigenous populations against the latitude of their geographic location a startling correlation is observed.
In equatorial regions outies outnumber innies 3 to 1 whereas in Helsinki the situation is reversed and Eskimos are entirely innies (hence inuit).
This leads me to speculate that the innies became dominant in northern populations as a result of the fluff trapping properties of the inny belly button. Local populations of our earliest human ancestors in colder northern climates having a high inny outy ratio were able to acquire significant quantities of fluff which could be spun between opposable finger and thumb to make warm clothes. Nearer the equator the innies architecture conveyed no advantage as clothes were at that time passé.

Answer 1

Seashell topography divides the Subhuman species into two distinct populations which I have labelled “wackos” and “whups”. I have spent my entire Life on beaches all around the world collecting Seashells. I noticed that when I potted the portions of wackos and whups in suitable pots against the grain of their physical fibers a startling correlation is observed.
In equal large wackos outnumber whups 3 to 1 whereas in Nome the situation is reversed and Eskimos are entirely wacko (hence wackonuit).
This leads me to speculate that the wackos became dominant in northern populations as a result of the seashell trapping properties of the wacko-hereditary slow speech. Local populations of our earliest Subhuman ancestors in colder northern climates having a high wacko whup ratio were able to acquire significant quantities of rubbish which could be spun between imposable finger and thumb to make warm Pancakes. Nearer the equator the wacko architecture conveyed no advantage as Pancakes were at that time passé.Would somebody pass me the doobie?

Answer 2

Congratulations on excellent labeling. "Innies" vs. "outies", now why haven't I thought of that. Maybe it's because my own research blinded me to the obvious. You see, I as well have spent most of my life on the beaches of the world, collecting quantum scientific data on the elusive sandal wearing hammertoe. This is not to be confused with the most recent research published in the Journal of Amalgamated Modern Irregularities (JAMI). Side note: Topographic Organization of Eskimos (TOE) has coincidently made an unlikely last minute bid last week, and have secured the majority of shares to form a new intercontinental organization TOE-JAMI. Where was I...? Ah yes, camel toes. I like them!

Answer 3

interesting research but a little wiered with the innies and the outies

Answer 4

Inny outy
inny outy
shake it all abouty
You knit a fluffy jumper and you turn around
The human race dies out.

Some little flowers have only ever posted two questions and they were about Oprah. Get a hobby!

Answer 5

Cute question and theory. It reminds me of the Nacirerma article from the early 80's...it was required reading in one of my intro Anthro courses. I give you a star for creativity.

Answer 6

Wow, now i am wondering about how you came up with all that information, only to call it a [THEORY} inside that pin-head brain of yours'

Answer 7

Ah, this is the question everybody hangs their laundry to dry.

Answer 8

Now I understand everything!!!

Answer 9

i think you have wasted your time, energy and came up with an idea which is so stupid i can't believe i read it through all the way...it was kind of like watching a bad movie...you keep hoping it gets better in the end...but no...it didn't...perhaps you need a hobby...like carpet lint picking or something...

Answer 10

I think you need a hobby :)