everytime i see you i wonder if i will ever speak to you
it's hard to keep this feeling inside because i really want you to know that even though we are so far apart but i do care about you. we are so different but are you like others? judge people for what they are not. as time passed by i wonder if i will ever make the first move to say hi and would you be a good friend of mine? everyday as you go up the stairs i'll be there, just to see that smile on your face. i don't know what to do or say to make you notice me but can you look my way when i'm looking at you? your smile, your face and everthing about you is so nice. now i won't do anything because let me be the person you need even though you don't even know what my name is but i'll always be that person at the end of the stairs.
2007-06-22 20:55:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
it's not actually a poem but a way i want to let out how i feel. just to confess what i feel inside.. anyway thank for answering! = ) and thanks for all the tip. and i do wait for her at the end of the stairs everyday. thats the only way i can see her...she's younger than me and have this cute face.
2007-06-24 21:12:31 · update #1
wow, thats really deep...if thats you saying that, then honestly...just muster the courage and tell the person it
2007-06-22 21:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by Blah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmmmm.. that's interesting... and, by the way, interesting is always good! I think this is nice, the ending seems to sound 'unraveled' a bit so you might want to do a little "nip/tuck" here or there in that you should shorten soem of the sentences, their meanings can be kept the same and even fortified by altering some word choice.. such as the last sentence is a bit of a run-on. Though I would say the strong point is that concluding statement "I'll always be that person at the end of the stairs." Maybe "I will" instead "I'll" is a little more fortifying, too. Otherwise, touch up the grammatical errs and you'll be on your way to a lovely piece. Nice!
2007-06-23 04:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with 'Blah'..mmm hmm...yeah. The worst thing you could do is go through your entire life wishing you could talk to your secret admirer but never really trying to. If you let this pass you by, you may live the rest of your life regretting it. It takes a little courage, but I have faith in you!
As for your 'poem'...wait, is it a poem??? I can't really tell, because it doesn't have any of the aspects of a poem. But I do like the way you used 'stairs'.
This is something I can wholeheartedly relate to. This year I really liked this guy and he liked me, for a time, but we never talked and the opportunity passed us by...
just something to think about....
Good luck!
Mysteriously,
rebel angel
2007-06-23 10:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it. Poems they r not written in a specific way unless one wants 2 write them in a certain form that we have but this one sounds like a poem becuase it is of thought and feeling and is deep. I love it u should tell the girl who u r
2007-07-01 02:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by jennyerosa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Go Boy!!! Not A Poem Huh? Well What Ever, But It Was NICE N SWEET!!
2007-06-28 07:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Careful here. How much younger is she than you? Ok to admire, but a stalker, don't be. You need to get in control of your emotions now! Don't wait.
2007-06-29 17:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fortune favors the bold
2007-06-23 04:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by visceraldoll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! Eros' sharp piercing arrows, another victim . . . . of love!!
EDIT
thanks for additional comments. Well, verse form is still better in my view It makes easier reading flow
2007-06-23 06:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good. Best i've heard in a long time.
2007-06-23 05:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's a true confession... hopefully the right person witnessed it.
2007-06-23 07:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by Analyst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋