Hey Moms.. anyone get upset by people coming up to touch your newborn infant?

Question

I am happy and welcoming to anyone touching my baby who is in my immediate family. That goes for congregants of my synogogue, who are like family to my daughter and I. However, I become very upset when strangers to us come up and touch her bare foot or hand. It makes me very angry because they are exposing her to germs.. plus who gave them the right to come up to us and start touching? This happens at WalMart, on the street, and the flea market.. you name it. I have started to tell people "you can look but do not touch" because I don't think it's anyone's right to go up to a baby and touch him/her without the parent's consent. I think it's disgusting that people feel entitled to touching others - it's intrusive and it p*sses me off. Opinions, Moms?

Answer 1

I totally agree. People seem to think it's okay to touch a stranger's child or a stranger's pregnant belly.
This is what I did back to these clods; I touched them back.
Someone would grab my infant's hand and say, "Ooh, what little fingers!" I would grab the intruder's hand and say something like, "Ooh, fingers of someone I don't even know!"
Strange people who would rub my pregnant belly would find me doing the same thing back to them.
Those who had the gall to tell me that I'm rude for touching them were quickly reminded that they intruded on me first.

Answer 2

I totally agree. I'm not super worried about hygiene but I think it is just rude...I don't go around grabbing the hands of adults so why would I go up to a child and do this? When my daughter was a newborn I hated anyone touching her except close family and friends. One day we were over at my in-laws and they wanted to show off the baby to the neighbours and the next thing I know a stranger was holding my baby....I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin as I was trying to hide my anxiety. As my daughter got a little bit older her stranger anxiety really kicked in and when strange people would come up and touch her in the store she would scream and make our shopping trip miserable. Any time we would see some sweet little old lady eyeing our baby we would duck down the nearest aisle to avoid the dreaded scream. Now she is 10 months old and wants everyone to notice her even though mom and dad still want to duck down the nearest aisle unseen!

Answer 3

this goes hand in hand with touching your pregnant belly!!!!!
Its annoying I know especially when we are taught about the importance of sterilization and being clean. Without looking crazy and attacking these people the best thing is to carry anti bacterial wipes with you always that way you can control the germs at least. Another idea is always keep bubs under a light blanket tucked in so no exposed hands and feet to touch, or if too hot drape a large cotton sheet over pram covering baby and protecting from peering eyes and touching.less people will approach as baby might be sleeping.

Answer 4

I posted a ? like this when my girl was a newborn - people were always coming up to her and touching her on the cheek, touching her hands, someone even kissed her one time! A stranger on a bus thinks it's OK to lean over and kiss my 5mth old?? She left a visible wet spot on my girl's cheek, I was livid. Of course being overly polite, I just moved her out of the way from future assaults. But people are completely ridiculous sometimes, how they think they have the right I have no idea.

I mentioned this to my mother, and she takes it that I dont like anyone to touch my daughter, so when she came to visit for the first and only time at 9mths she hardly went near her. When I asked her as she's getting ready to leave why she didnt seem to want to hold my daughter, she says 'You pissed me off with your saying you dont like people touching your daughter so I didnt want to go near her and upset you.' Ugh, completely different and she should have known that.

People dont touch her much anymore now that she's past the baby stage, but occasionally they still do. I still dont like it even though she's a toddler now and is getting into dirt and whatnot all the time. She's my precious girl, I dont want any strangers touching her! I want to keep her nice and safe for always...

For my second baby, I wont be nearly as nice about it. I'll make it very clear I dont want people I dont know touching him/her. Perhaps one day it shall sink in to the general population that it's not acceptable to touch children without them or their parents consent.

Edit: Just read Great Grandma saying essentially 'It's no big deal as newborns have better immune systems than adults'. Yikes, no wonder it's all the old ladies going up to our kids and touching them. Hello, newborns dont have any immunity from germs unless they are breastfed (which isnt 100% anyways) and look how many mothers are doing that these days???

Answer 5

I wouldn't be too worried about the germ thing, really exposure to a few germs is good for your child, even if she's still little.

However, it's still very rude for strangers to touch your child! It's rude to walk up to *anyone* regardless of their age and start touching them or their clothes/possessions. Some folks seem to think it's okay to feel the belly of a pregnant person, or -unrelated to children or pregnancy- finger uncommon items like a lush, fake-fur collar, a typical-looking bag or whatever else. It's a courtesy/privacy issue rather than a health issue but whatever the reasons, I fully agree it is rude. People may look but shouldn't touch.

Answer 6

I was the same way when i had my son. I think my head started spinning around. Wal mart always seems to be the spot where the touchy feely crap starts. I went in one day to get some wipes and diapers for my little man and a person i went to school with was there with her little girl, well her little girl had chicken pocks and my little man was only 8 weeks old, and she touched him. I was pissed, i felt like drop kicking her in the head. people need to realize that you need to ask before you touch, or just comment on how cute the baby is without touching. Not everyone is a very clean person, heck who knows if so and so washed their hands after using the bathroom, yuck.

Answer 7

It angers me also because I don't know this person who is trying to touch my children. I also worry about how my daughters feel about people coming up and touching them. Do they think I cant protect them from strangers who invade their personal space. I get it all the time and my daughters are 13 months. I have found its mostly little kids and older women who do it. I found telling the kids hey honey can you not touch her she is the best thing to do just being polite with the little kids but not making them feel they are in trouble work. With the older women I just position my self really close to my daughters and if I see them leaning to touch I move the stroller, cart what ever they are in away and that usually stops them for being able to reach my girls. Normally they don't say anything about me doing that and it prevents any confrontation. Hope that helps

Answer 8

Yes, it irritated me, but it is just because babies are so cute. My girls are 6 and 8 and I really love seeing little babies, girls especially with the pony tails on top of the head that stick straight up. And there have been times without thinking I almost did, but stopped myself. Sometimes people just forget how protective mothers of infants are, and some day you will understand when yours are older and you see a baby that brings back all those memories.

Answer 9

I also think its disgusting. The other day at the Doc. office there was a man that came in and Im tellin' you if this man's hands was any dirtier you would think he was workin' in the mine, he came up to my son and touched his hand, I felt like punchin' him in the head. The reason I didnt say anything is because I didnt want to hurt this old mans feelings, but from now on Im not allowing ANYBODY to touch him. Who knows where peoples hands have been!! Good Question

Answer 10

I usually kept my baby covered up when I went out, in the baby carrier with ablanket draped over the front. By the time he was 3-4 months I was not as worried, I figure he's been exposed to alot by then!