Women,how do you get your husband to participate in doing housework?

Answer 1

When or if your husband does even the LEAST little thing like put the lid back on the toothpaste-make a BIG DEAL about it and gush all over him and tell him how sweet it is of him to help you keep things neat by doing that! Then give him a smooch and touch his arm and tell him how you love how strong he is, etc. Lay it on thick (men love it). Get my drift? In other words: pet him and say "good boy" like you would your dog. Really! It works. Be consistant in your appreciation and praise and your husband will soon be helping you all you want.

Answer 2

My husband simply says, "I haven't traditionally done that" and does not want any further discussion. I guess if I don't do it for awhile I can say the same thing. Seriously, if we're both working I can't see him hitting the recliner for a short nap while I get supper ready and then he watches television while I clean up the kitchen and do some laundry. I still love my husband even if he is a stubborn, insensitive old jerk sometimes. I've tried a lot of things, including explaining to him that I realize life is unfair but I expect we should try to make it as fair as possible. In one ear and out the other. He just simply does not like to do it so won't do it. I was exhausted all the time and I couldn't keep ahead of things.

So this is how I resolved it. I quit my job. Now I have the time to do the housework properly (or not) and if he wants me to cook something he can get groceries. My expectations are low and so far they've been met. Peace of mind and being well rested mean more to me than anything I could buy. If he doesn't want to do it, it's next to impossible to motivate him to do it. Kind and caring husbands that will pitch in to help out are worth their weight in gold.

Sometimes I think it must have something to do with how they're raised so I blame his mother. I am trying to raise my son to be helpful and considerate.

"Lincoln freed the slaves!"

Answer 3

Your husband probably has one of those mothers that picked up after him all day long. He was never expected to do housework so why would he start now. He probably just expects you to pick up after him like his mom did. You need to talk to him and tell him he needs to help. But that also comes only if you both work and bring home the bacon. If you stay home all day then you should do the housework but if both work all day then both need to share in the housework.

Answer 4

I make sure I appreciate it and that what he just did for me is the best coolest thing ever. He basks in the attention and love and does it more. I also learned what does he not mind doing. He hates yardwork, but doesn't mind dishes. Works well with me, because I love yardwork and hate dishes. I also don't expect him to do it by my specifications. He does it the way he does it. It takes 21 times to learn a habit. For my husband and son I pick one little thing(like scraping their plates into the trash) and ask them to do it every night and after awhile they just do it. Then I asked them to rinse their plates for the next month and so on.....Now they both do the dishes when we are done eating, by habit. I also found if I give my husband a list and a deadline I need it by(Like take the yardwaste to the recycling center by the end of June) helps him. At work he has to prioritize and work with deadlines so it is something he is used too. It works better for big jobs.

Answer 5

The worst thing you can do is stop doing all of the things you usually do for him (cooking, sex, etc.), that will only make him resent you and cause an argument. The next thing you need to think about is what he does all day. My husband works ten hrs. a day so I do all of the house work. He helps me on weekends but only with little things. He will begin to appreciate you and understand that the house is pleasant and tidy because of you. Next thing you know you are coming home from a day of shopping on Saturday and the dishes are taken out of the dishwasher and the carpets are vaccumed. To him, that can be a lot of work, to me, it is him stepping in and showing me that he cares and appreciates what I do. Taking care of a house is a job in and of itself. Men will never understand this until they stay home five days a week!

Answer 6

He just knows when I'm overwhelmed and he jumps in and helps me. Many times my version of "help" is him taking the kids to the park so I can get things done. He did this today and the bills are paid, the house is clean and dinner was wonderful. I don't mind cleaning at all but trying to clean with 4 kids and a husband in the house can get psycho. I'm a stay at home mom so I see cleaning as my primary job. When I worked out of the house, we both split the jobs up. He knows how hard my job can be, once in a while I take a long weekend with girlfriends and leave him with the house and kids. Him being in my shoes has him begging me to never ever leave again......but..I will ;)

Answer 7

Things just must be done, period, to run a home. Everyone participates, even kids - with appropriate chores for their ages. All you should have to do is ask.... and most guys will help out totally willingly. Just remember they don't have the same brain as we do - they don't tend to 'think up' things which must be done, but if you ask, they will help out. The most important thing, though, is if you ask a husband to do a particular job, be totally satisfied with when and how he does it, and don't complain and nag about it - for example, don't tell him he's folding the linens "wrong", just because it may not be the way you like them done.

Answer 8

I dont really have to get him to do it. He pretty much does it on his own. Yet there was a few times that he wouldn't do it, so I'd have the dishes pile up, clothes/toys thrown around. He got tired of it looking a mess so he helped out. I also pointed out that if one of his friends/family came over he's make sure the house was cleaned. I explained to him that he should help out cleaning regardless if someone was visisting. He got the point.

Answer 9

We're not married, but we live together. I just don't do anything around here unless he's doing something as well. If he makes a mess, I don't clean it for him. I leave it. If the place becomes a sty? Ah well, his mess isn't my responsibility. Now, if I were all uptight about having a clean place, I don't know what I would do! You need to relax.

Answer 10

I don't have to worry about that, my husband does his part in housework & chores, he does more than i do :)