In need of some relationship advice?

Question

what does it mean when your woman needs time apart, not breaking up but liveing apart for a while, well she asked for eight months. we have had our up and downs fighting,and crap like that. but we both know we love each other and we are getting married next may.... she said she has alot of stuff on her mind and needs to work it out in order to give it her all to this relationship.. last time she needed time apart was because of someone eles can it be that again or is she truely needing time to grow closer to me, we have been together 1 year and 6 months. I dont want to lose her so please help me out

Answer 1

When someone needs time apart like that it is because they are wanting to see someone else. Seems like she keeps you on a roller coaster ride that you need to get off of. She is playing you. Sorry to say but, when things dont work out for her she will be back. She did it to you once and she is going to keep doing it to you.

Answer 2

No matter how hard you try, you can not keep what isn't your's. Give her the time, but also let her know that you may not be around when she decides to come back. Since this has happened before, regardless if she wants to see someone else or not, apparently she does not feel that marrying you is the ultimate. Does it hurt? How much worse would it hurt if she decides to do this 10 years and 2 children from now. Take your chance, start reviewing every aspect of your relationship, and honestly write down all the things she has or has not done that upset you or seemed inappropriate. I have a feeling you will find the answer all on your own.

Answer 3

In my opinion, if you want to grow closer to someone you don't take 8 months away from them. Doesn't make sense. In order to enhance a relationship you need to invest time into it and communicate with one another, not run away. I think the "need time to think" line is just an excuse for her to get space from you, not necessarily to try and give her all to the relationship, but to decide if she wants to be in it at all. If your wedding is scheduled for next May, how can she possibly take 8 months off? Just doesn't seem healthy. Maybe she is being honest when she says she has a lot on her mind and needs some time to think, but how does THAT much time really help your relationship? You also mentioned that the last time she did it it was b/c of someone else. She obviously feels like she can push you to the side and put her needs first, whenever she feels like it. I don't get a good vibe from what you're saying. I'm sorry to say I think her heart may not be in the relationship like it needs to be. I pray the best for you in this situation. Let us know what happens.

Answer 4

Dude, she asked for 8 months apart? Am I reading that right? She wants to live apart for 8 months? If the two of you are engaged, how much closer to you does she need to be. She has done this before. You know what, if you cannot get her to tell you what exactly is on her mind, then you should say "See ya later." Not the answer you want to hear. You have to be realistic. She asked for 8 months to live apart and you are getting married in 11 months? I doubt it. Ultimately, you will be happier than you are now.

Answer 5

This is going to be some tough love, but here goes. Dude, do yourself a favor: unless you want to spend the rest of your life in Drama Hell, break it off and move on. If she was "the one" for you, she wouldn't need "time apart" to get herself together. What kind of nonsense is that? When you find someone you "really" want to marry, you can't stand to be apart from them, you don't take a sabbatical! Trust me, I've been married for 27 years, and the only times we were ever apart is when I had to go away because of my work, and even then, we communicated every day. Don't make a mistake at the beginning, just break it off before it gets any worse, or you'll regret your indecision for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

hm the fact that you stated you have already had time apart because of someone else is already a concern and seeing that you are engaged one would normally expect all differences aside and also know what she wants . she can not grow closer to you by being away so i would suggest for you to ask her one more time to think seriously and wisley if it is you whom she wants to be with, where she will be for those 8 months and yeah with whom.... I find it very strange. Also you say you will be married next May that is only 9 months away should she not be with you till then preparing for your wedding, etc etc. I am sorry if this hurts you, but I am only trying to be honest as you have asked for help and this is the way I see it.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like she found someone else and may just keep you on the sidelines in case it doesn't work out.

If she loves you and wants to marry you, then she really needs to stick by your side and work out whatever is bothering her. What is going to happen when you get married and she decides she "needs her space"? Sounds like maybe you should find out what is really going on. Do you really want to marry someone who runs away everytime there is a problem? She has already been unfaithful to you...that should send up red flags.

Don't ruin your life...really think about this.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

8 months is a long time,.. u sure she isnt preg??!!! she may have plans if she is..... and really if the time she wants is for space, how can she put a time frame on it???!!!

Not long ago i told my ex i needed space, i was lucky enough to get afew days, i would have liked longer, but he pushed, i decided to not give up and stayed with him,.. but afew wks later it just wasnt working... so we split....

anyways my point is, i can understand she may need time to herself 4 awhile, but y that long??? dont push her, tell her exactly how u feel about her and the situation, and want it is u want out of the relationship then try giving her less contact then what she wants....playing games isnt fair but it has to be done sometimes. 18months is long enough to know u dont need time, u should know if u want them or not.... if things dont get better after a short time, then if i was you i would walk away for good...

good luck

Answer 9

well Im a woman, and when I was engaged the last thing on my mind was spending time away from my fiance. why on earth does she need time apart? Hate to say it but I think either theres another man, or shes having second thoughts. goodluck.

Answer 10

Well if you two are getting married then she probably need time for her self... she is makin a big step.... sio she might want time to her self to just thing and relax cause she goin to be real stressed out cause of the wedding so just be there for her everything will be ok