Three week old newborn wants to be held constantly!!! Please help me ! She stops when she's being held!?

Question

here's my dilemma. i have a 3 wk old & she just wants to be carried all the time - we got bought a bouncer, swing, play yard and crib but doesnt like any of those. my mom is staying till sept and whenever i give the baby to her she just carries her nonstop if i put the baby down and the baby cries she would say the baby will get gas by crying too much!!! i cant do things arnd the house anymore unless i give the baby to her but then she would just carry her even if the baby is asleep now im stuck with a baby that CRIES inconsolably unless she's held! i told my mom not to carry her anymore but when she looks after her and the baby cries while lying down she wouldnt resist but carry her again! is it bad to leave the baby crying and screaming like that? its crazy during daytime she's being held when she sleeps my back hurts and chores are left undone! my mom just wants to carry her what do i do???

Answer 1

Have you tried any of these:
Swaddling
Adjusting the temperature
Creating white noise (running fan, running water)

It is not recommended that let a 3 week old baby "cry it out". She should be consoled. The lack of oxygen from abnormal breathing patterns (from crying) could lead to developmental problems in the brain (according to a book called What to Expect The First Year), and the lack of attention could lead to feelings of unworthiness.

Answer 2

At three weeks old, she needs to be held, and probably would like to feed a lot, they go through a growth spurt at three weeks where all they want to do is eat. You might try getting a baby sling, so that she can be held close to you while you do some chores. Or see if someone will do those chores for you for a few weeks, babies do eventually settle into a routine, and it takes a little while for them to be interested in toys, swings or playpens. But three weeks is way too young to let them cry it out, they don't recommend that method until the baby is 6 months old, she's still learning that the world is a place where she is loved and cared for, and holding helps with that. The chores will keep, the baby will not.

Answer 3

Have you tried a baby carrier -- the kind you strap on and wear and it holds the baby on your chest? It's like how the American Indians carried their babies in a papoose long ago. You can not spoil a newborn infant, if that's a concern. Rules and discipline begin after a few months, but for the first 2or 3 months, try to give her whatever she wants. She needs to feel safe and secure and loved more than anything these first few weeks. However, I am not recommending that you wear yourself out or break your back. Pregnancy, giving birth, and caring for an infant is HARD WORK!! So, go ahead and let your mom carry her and hold her, and appreciate her help!!! If there's anyone else you trust to help you out (so you can get a break or clean house or whatever), let them help. But try not to worry too much about getting stuff done. No one expects you to be Super Mom. Just accept all the help you can get, and try to get some R&R for yourself when you can. Good luck.

"justanother_supermom" said it best. I couldn't agree more. Your baby is only 3 weeks old!! Some of these people are answering like she's 3month old, or more. Hold her and love her and comfort her. "Letting her cry" doesn't come until later; you don't let a newborn "cry it out"!!!

Answer 4

Her primitive instincts tell her that if she is not being held, something is wrong. It's not her fault. She was carried 24 hours a day for 9 months and now she is being put down in a still, cold, bright, dry, foreign environment, it's frightening to her! The only thing that comforts her is the smell and warmth of another human holding her.

You really should buy a sling or other carrying contraption. They are a life saver! Not to mention the extra weight on you provides great exercise.

Don't listen to those people who tell you stop now, you're spoiling your baby. They know nothing about infant psychology or how the brain works. I slinged my baby for the first 9 months, and she is the most independent 2 year old you will ever meet! NO separation anxiety at all. She is happy with herself and TRUSTING, because she was never left alone to cry.

Answer 5

Oh my goodness, she's ONLY three weeks old! She NEEDS you Mommy, that's why she's crying. She's too young for any of that "equipment", but I will recommend getting a sling so you can "wear" her around the house and have your arms free to do some things. Some babies just have a harder transition into our world than others, some need more soothing than others. You held her and rocked her for nine months. And don't let anyone tell you that it's good for babies to cry, or that you will spoil them by holding them too much or-how silly- that crying will give her gas. Give her what she needs now, or you will set her up to be a very unhappy and insecure baby. You are so lucky to have a Mom who wants to help you, LET HER so you don't go crazy. And you should be napping when your baby naps, not worrying about getting chores done. Please take it easy on yourself; the postpartum period (six weeks) is for rest and recovery. It will all come together soon. I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

My Mom also said...'This Too Shall Pass' However she meant childhood!! Hold your baby dear....follow your heart!!...........
When I first held you in my arms,
if only I'd have known,
the years would feel like moments,
after you had grown.

If I were granted any wish, I'll tell you what I'd do,...
I'd wish my kids were small again,
for just a month or two;

When my babies were so little, and wanted to be held, and I thought I had things to do and couldn't take the time..my Mom(GOD REST HER SOUL) told me;
'Thank GOD for your baby, and NEVER ask for anything...EXCEPT One More Day.....To Constantly HOLD that precious little gift, fore we never know IF GOD is going to give us one more day.

No criticism, just a few things my Mom and Grandma told me just a few months before each of them passed away.

Momma P

May Angels Walk Beside You

Answer 7

hold her, swaddle her, turn on vacuum cleaner or other white noise... basically, follow the "Happiest Baby on the Block" book - there are five steps to calm a constantly crying baby and they are pretty simple!

This is exactly the time (~3 weeks) when some babies get "colic" - which is just our modern way of saying some babies need to be loved and cared for more than others, because we no longer hold them/feed them as much as we did when we were "primative" people! Did you know that in some cultures babies NEVER get colic? In some cultures, babies are held for the first 5 months, too! And the whole tribe does not end up spoiled ;)

Absolutely ignore people who say the baby is manipulating you or that you would spoil her with too much holding. She can't even purposefully move her own hands - how can she be manipulative of your emotions? She is a newborn and needs to be comforted and to know she is cared for, as she was by you in the womb.

Answer 8

Your baby is very young. She should be held anytime she cries. If she cries she's needing something, it may just be the comfort that comes from being held. She's coming from an environment (your womb) where she was held 24/7. Try short spells in the bouncer, as she learns that you will get her when she needs you, she'll cry less. Babies left to cry are more likely to cry more frequently and longer. Don't expect to get chores done much for the first 2-3 months of having a baby, it's not going to happen. Look into getting a sling or baby carrier so that you can get some things done while holding her, and just enjoy her while she's so small. By the time she's a year old, she'll want to explore and won't want to be held.

Answer 9

I understand how tiring it can be but it is important to meet the infant's needs. I would advise you read "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears. There is a lot of really helpful information in it.

I understand that it would be easier to set your baby in her crib, bouncer, swing, playpen, etc. etc. but what is most beneficial is being held. Women never had all of these baby holding devices in the past. We held our babies.

I really loved my Moby wrap. The baby sleeps, while being carried on you, and you can get some light chores done. But don't stress about that. What matters most right now is that you are taking care of your daughter.

Don't let her cry-it-out. It's not good. No matter what anyone says. It's not good for them. It might make things more convenient for you but it's not good for your baby's health.

Answer 10

The baby will grow and not 'need' to be held as often. Hold her now, let your mom hold her. It's ok. At this young of an age, leaving the baby to cry doesn't 'teach' or 'show' her anything but lonlienss and rejection. Hold her, love her,. . .sit down, put your feet up and cuddle her. One day it'll all be gone.

Answer 11

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Three week old newborn wants to be held constantly!!! Please help me ! She stops when she's being held!?
here's my dilemma. i have a 3 wk old & she just wants to be carried all the time - we got bought a bouncer, swing, play yard and crib but doesnt like any of those. my mom is staying till sept and whenever i give the baby to her she just carries her nonstop if i put the baby down and the baby...