mother in law driving me crazy..I NEED A DIVORCE (from her)?

Question

this is how it goes..
-tomorrow we have to go to a family function.
-i said i am not going and my mother in law is going
-reason-at the party there are going to be two girls my mother in law chose for my hubby ( but obviously hubby said no and married me)......one is so rich that she has a bentley(she is 18!) other is a genius (med school)...........
MY MOTHER IN LAW KEEPS ON PUTTING ME DOWN.....she goes oh they have everything...the girl is so smart and rich bla bla bla........
i am sick of her putting me down..
she goes "look at kiera she is so brilliant she is in pre med school and look at u ....u r just going to a state college" ,"look at sara she has a bentley ..look what ur dad( he is justa doctor!) gave just a lexus."

to clarify my hubby is a doctor and she is just an insurance clerk....
what do i do to stop her??
i dnt want my hubby to be involved as he has his own stresses at work....

and those two girls i dnt know how to talk to them...she invited them at dinner on sunday.

what am i going to talk to them about? i am not as rich or not in pre- med.........i am so jealous of them...
i dnt like them
P.S. they both wanted to marry my hubby really bad.. (that is why i told him not to be at the dinner)

Answer 1

My mother in law called me a liar to my face. I,of course had not lied to her. I was so stunned I couldn't even respond for a moment.( We had gone to another state to visit her. My husband had gone to play golf.) When I regained my composure I said "I have no idea what to even say to you" I walked out to the garage stay there till my husband came home told him I was leaving and why. I encouraged him to stay and enjoy his family. I have never spoken to her since. I have no regrets. I am too old to put myself in uncomfortable situations. Good luck.

Answer 2

She sounds like a real jerk. Don't stoop to her level. Your husband married you and that's all the matters.

The problem between you and his mother is HIS problem. You should let him know how you feel and let him know that anyone that criticizes his wife, is disrespecting him! So say "it doesn't seem like your mother has any respect for you and that really bothers me".

Now you mentioned Divorce and I was amazed. Do you really love your husband? Does he love you? Would you honestly file for divorce and leave your husband, because of his stupid mother. That's a problem right there. Oh and if you ever got divorced because of her, she would feel like the winner in this case and you would be the failure. She should be to unimportant for you to consider divorce.

If I were you, I would go to the party with my chin up, looking really good. I would have alot of self respect, pride and value and just ignore the nonsense. You could probably laugh in her face, because no matter what, he's your husband!
Congratulations and Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hold your friends close but your enemies closer.

Take the high road... and ignore the obvious.

Monster-in-laws have done this sort of thing for generations. Talk to the two women as equals. If they don't have that same class it will show and the rest will see it. You will be more admired by the rest of the family for being the class act.

So what you drive a Lexus and she drives a Bently. That's just over kill on her part anyway. And great for the other one for being in premed. That doesn't necessarily mean she will end up in med school and be a doctor in the end.

Answer 4

Eleanor Roosevelt’s mother-in-law was a horrible controlling woman. She didn’t want her son Teddy to marry his distant cousin, the shy awkward Eleanor. After their marriage Sara Roosevelt continued to control her son and his new wife because they depended on her for financial support.

Eleanor’s parents died when she was a child so she was sent to live with her grandmother who frequently reminded Eleanor that she was clumsy and unattractive. It seemed that she had very little to offer anyone. Somehow along the way she developed a strong inner confidence and went on to be one of the most influential women in history.

Going to a state college is a financially sensible thing to do. Maybe your mother-in-law hasn’t noticed how thrifty you are. Driving a fancy car doesn’t make you anything except a girl in an expensive car. Going to medical school is difficult to do, but that isn’t the only way to be successful. You apparently have something to wonderful to offer because your husband picked you over these two other impressive women. Try not to look at them as a threat. Look at them as the poor girls who didn’t get picked!

When you see these women, ask lots of questions about their jobs or cars or jewelry or whatever and just listen. People love to talk about themselves and like people who let them. Just smile and nod!

Here are two of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes that might give you the courage you need to face this dreaded dinner:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Answer 5

Gonna just throw him to the wolves, are you? That's kinda mean.

Dress to the max when you attend functions with him. Not uncomfortable, just dress like a doctor's wife, wear your make up, and flaunt some jewlery.

You're in college. What are you taking? Apparently it is much more to his liking than what the other girls are doing. if she brings up college, You can say, " Yes, I took a full load this semester. Husband has been so supportive." And totally skirt the slight.

If Mama brings up posessions, like, Bentlys, just say, "Yes, Bentleys are sooo expensive. I really admire a man who works so hard to give his children things. Sara is a lucky girl."

If Kiera is so smart, hon, then Kiera is smart. You can say, "It it amazing to me how well Kiera does. I know she's gonna go far." And graciously accept that Kiera is a wonderful person...in Mama's eyes....

Agree with the woman if what she says is true.

As far as her putting you down goes, find one pat answer. "Sara's got a Bently and all you got was a Lexus." Say, "That is true, but rather rude to point out." or "I was raised not to discuss such things in public." or " Mom, you know that's not an appropriate subject right now." Whatever works for you. Practice your line. Know it will be a rush to rebuke her. But....find something neutral and respectful to say, and repeat it every time she steps out of bounds.

The woman obviously has issues. Her son is probably sick of the manipulative cr@p.

Go and be the lovely, intelligent, socially appropriate wife of your husband. Find your center, your karma, whatever you call it, and never let her cause a ripple. Your husband will be totally impressed, and eventually Mama may back off....

Answer 6

You are too concerned about what other people think of you. It is none of your business what they think of you, it is your business what you know is true about youf. You know you are okay, just like you are. To thine own self be true. After all your husband had the choice of these two other women and he chose you. That ought to make you feel pretty good. Don't let his mother get you down, come right out and tell her, you don't appreciate what she says to you and don't stand there and listen to her bad mouth you ever again, turn around and exit as quickly as possible when she starts in. You can do it. You are just as good as either of the other two females and you know it. You are a unique creation of God and you should start to act like it.

Answer 7

What kind of a nut bag family are you married into? Why the heck is your mom-in-law inviting this girls anyway? I think it's about time you show some lip with mom-in-law. The next time she brags about one of those babes, you need to speak up: Tell her "yes, I agree Kiera does look brilliant; gee, why do you think she's not married yet?" OR you say, "Wow, look at Sara's Bentley. Hey mom, do you think she'll be able to find someone who will support her or do you think SHE'll be the one supporting her man? Speak up girl!

Answer 8

Your immaturity shows. When you put yourself up against others (and jealous of them), you have no confidence of yourself and it will show thereby making yourself both vulnerable to jabbing and inviting more abuse and embarrassments. If you choose a duel, only one survives.

There are always gonna be people smarter and richer than each of us. We show our own substance --- knowledge, culture, views of the world, grace, kindness and confidence. If you have nothing to talk about, then you are shallow no matter whose company you are in.

And you think rich and smart people have everything? Usually, they lack security, sincerity, and general concern of the whole mankind. There is a lot to be said about people who come from grass root and are in touch of the world at that level.

For a woman, standing by her husband with grace and kindness is most charming. And her ability to talk about social subjects that her husband supports (environment or in your case, medicine for the poor, etc) certainly gets the husband to hold her hands admiringly.

Answer 9

Tell your husband that he's going to have to make his Mom understand. You are his wife, not these other girls.

My husband told his mother that if she didn't accept me, fully, then she could consider that he wasn't going to be around. Period.

You're not gonna stop this 100%, but your husband can make her cut back on it, a whole lot.

Answer 10

NO you should definitely talk to your husband about this, I had the same problem ... not as bad, but pretty much the same thing with my father in law ... he should tell her look mom I am with this woman this is the woman I chose to be with and that is that! Or you can just tell her yourself, or ignore the hell out of her ... if you know your hubby loves you, then forget it!