Okay I have been with my husband for 4 years, I met him when i was 10 years old, we have only been married a year though ... I do love him very much, he also knows I get on the net and chat! I am 21 and he is 24, so anyways I started talking to this guy that lives in New Zealand about 2 and a half years ago and we chat almost everyday, mind you I live in the US! So it isn't like we can see each other! Well we are really good friends and we don't cyber or anything like that, he is just a generally nice guy to chat with and makes me feel good about myself! Well lately I have been feeling like I am falling for him? Is this considered emotionally cheating or do you guys think i am going through a phase? LOL ... also I told my husband about 6 months ago i wanted a divorce, but he said he would try to work things out with me and what I wasn't happy on, but he changes for about a week then goes back to same ol same ol, but I told him this before I started getting feelings for the other guy!
2007-06-22 14:58:54 · 13 answers · asked by Heather M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So do you guys think I should talk to my husband about this or take a break from him and see what my true feelings are?
2007-06-22 14:59:21 · update #1
I have never been in a situation like this before and I don't cheat on my husband, so this is why i am asking ... I truely don't know what to do! Please don't be rude with your answers!
2007-06-22 15:00:06 · update #2
Let me clear one thing up ... I didn't ask my husband for a divorce because of this guy! It was long before these feelings came along!
2007-06-22 15:09:54 · update #3
Okay let me clear another thing up, I have asked my husband to try to work on things, he says he will, but he DOESN'T! I have tried, I have asked him to go to counseling, he says it won't help anything we can't fix on our own!
2007-06-22 15:11:44 · update #4
I wasn't looking for anything on the net, I get on here purely to chat when i am bored or when I can't sleep ... I have trouble with that alot! I purely started chatting with him as a friend, these feelings only came up about 2 months ago!
2007-06-22 15:13:00 · update #5
You will want to read mine. You are falling for your email friend because he is your friend. This is better than the relationship with your husband. Emotional affairs only happen when the marriage is already hurting. Affairs of both kinds are the result - not cause- of marital problems. You and your husband can make it, but it will take dedication on both parts to counseling and following through on what is learned. Also, you should probably start just emailing your friend about once a week instead of everyday. This is a man you can never be with and is taking up too much time and emotion.
2007-06-22 15:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by StormyC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, New Zealand. That's much too far and you couldn't have much in common. I think what you are feeling is infatuation and excitement. Also, you don't know if you can trust this person. I can't tell you what to do about your husband. Take care of that separately. Don't leave him because of this New Zealand guy. You have no idea what he's really like. Stop writing to him. These feelings will pass. If you want to fall for someone, fall for someone you know.
2007-06-22 15:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you Sarah , in our moderen society , sex is a tad frugal .. And very much so published and noted throughout our lives .. Though when two people trully love each other , sex becomes much more than physical , and creates a tie between two people .. But if that loving desire is not there , the tie seems not to form .. Yet when/if the other learns of that sexual episode's happening , conflictions do/will arrise .. The decision of interaction I feel must be mutual , and kept to yourselves as a private happening .. Though , hugging is just a controlled notation of love for friends .. Should never be viewed as physical cheating..
2016-05-17 23:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that yes, especially considering your already having relationship issues, that is emotional cheating. Shouldnt u be looking to your husband to make u feel good about yourself? I think mentioning that he lives in New Zealand isnt really a consideration, just an excuse to continue what your doing. Ultimately if your uncomfortable telling your husband about it and comfortable including him in on the conversatins then theres nothing wrong with it. But if you arent then...
2007-06-22 15:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should just stop talking to the Internet guy.......that would honestly help you a lot... try to work it out with your husband marriage is not a game it's a commitment and if you love your husband enough you would leave the other guy alone...why did you even put yourself in a situation like this.....i feel like you were looking for a guy on the Internet in the beginning are maybe just unsure about your husband in the beginning
2007-06-22 15:10:58 · answer #5 · answered by Babygurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost 80% of all long distance relationships don't work.
And you should be really ashamed of yourself for cheating on your husband, the same thought's, feelings, energy and passion that you have been sharing with Mr. Overseas you could have been sharing with your husband.
How would you feel if the man you were to spend the rest of your life with did the same thing to you ?
Your not being fair to the person who chose you over 100 million different women to spend the rest of his life with!
2007-06-22 15:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by rlc120168 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are doing is called emotional infidelity. You must stop this at once. You are a married woman, you said your wedding vows and you must up hold them. Think back on what they are. The only reason God gives for a divorce is adultery. So if your husband hasn't committed adultery, you can't divorce him. You should do what ever you have to, to make your marriage better.
2007-06-22 15:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're "falling" for the guy, then yes, it IS emotional cheating. Chatting is one thing, but when you begin to fall for the other person, and want to get a divorce, that's not good, nor healthy for your marriage. If you want to stay married, you need to let the other guy go, and work on your marriage! Good Luck!!
2007-06-22 15:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get off of the Internet and work things out with your husband, your probably not in love with this guy you are just infatuated with the attention he is giving you.but when you stop contacting this guy you'll see all the reasons you love your husband!!
2007-06-22 15:07:11 · answer #9 · answered by MarineWife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My self esteem isn't low enough to fall for a guy over the internet that I never met in person..Your husband deserves better..
2007-06-22 15:05:40 · answer #10 · answered by KRIS 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋