my mother doesn't acknowledge...?

Question

she hates me and will deny that I am her daughter since she found out that I am pregnant by a man who has 2 kidz and that I am keeping the baby. She is trying to talk me into abortion.
I am not even a teenager I am in my 30s and I probably won't have a child if I don't have this one. What would you do>? and how would you react to your mother...would you confront her?

Answer 1

Obviously, your mother has some irrational anger right now, so much that she is pressuring you to kill her own grandchild. I would perhaps give your mother some space and let her cool down and adjust to the fact that there is a new life inside of you. As long as she is pressuring you to have the abortion I would not discuss it with her.

And while you are taking good care of yourself and baby, I would make plans to put the little one up for adoption because you aren't married to the man and so obviously that's not a good and stable environment to raise the child.

Keep a "low profile" and allow the father to be involved in whatever way he wishes during the pregnancy, but keep his children out of it or it will be a source of scandal, resentment and possibly embarrassment for them.

In a few weeks, try to approach your mother again. Explain that you know you did not make a good decision and that you are going to do what's best for the baby.

God bless you.

Answer 2

actually, i was in a similar situation, but i was 19. My mom had a ****-fit when she found out and didnt talk to me for weeks. My now fiance has 2 kids from his first marriage and is 12 years older then me so that didnt sit well either. She is probably just concerned for you, and she will lighten up once you start showing pictures of that little life inside of you. You need to explain to her that you are a grown woman, and that this is YOUR decision and even if he decided to leave, you can do it on your own. if this is her first grandchild, maybe she thinks she will be "old" if you have a kid. Once that baby is here, she wont be able to resist cuddling him/her.
good luck. i hope it works out for you.
ps. i do not agree with the person up top that says to put the baby up for adoption because its not a stable relationship. first of all, you are a grown woman and you can raise a wonderful child ALONE. sometimes even married couples arent stable. so thats rediculous. that is your baby, so do what youi want, and love that baby with everything you have.

Answer 3

You have to follow your own heart. No one else can make your decisions for you. If your heart says to keep the baby..then do it! Just because he has children from a prior relationship, that shouldn't mean anything. Maybe thats your mothers fear, that he has other children and obviously that relationship is over, that maybe he would leave you to. Maybe she is just scared of you having to be a single parent, although even that isn't the end of the world (known from experience) Just do what your head and heart say and in time she will come around. Once she sees that little one she will start to melt.

Answer 4

well it is your choice, not your mothers.
it is a shame that she is being so negative about her own grandchild, im sure she will come around eventually. she might just be disappointed because she was hoping you would find someone, settle down and raise a family together but having children is a blessing no matter what the circumstances. just give your mum some breathing space and let her get her head around it, once she sees your baby she will melt and be so happy she has a grandchild.
if your mum wont get off your back, just sit her down and tell her that this is your baby, her grandchild and you would love her to be a part of your lives, but you are doing this with or with out her support, just make sure you tell her you love her very much, but you are a grown woman and it is your life

Answer 5

If you hadnt put down your age, I wouldve assumed, you're a teenager!

For one, your mother cannot control your life anymore. You're way over 18 yrs old and she needs to "cut" the strings from you.... sounds like she doesnt want to let you go since you're all grown up and now that you're pregnant... this is telling her that you are no longer "her little girl"

I can understand that she was upset that you was pregnant by a guy who already have kids....Im sure she was hoping you would meet a prince who is a bachelor with no kids... and have the fairy-tale life. But it doesnt work that way.....its your life and you do what you need to do. Dont do things to please her...just do whats best for you AND your baby.....I would tell her to BACK OFF!

Good Luck!

Answer 6

You are an adult and can make your own decisions!!! So what if your man has a couple of children already,it doesn't change him as a person or how he is going to be as a father to your baby.Your mom sounds like she has issues,she should worry about herself and let you take care of yourself!! I would confront her.It is sooooo not her place to make those kinds of decisions for you.Period. Good luck.This baby was conceived for a reason,and it is also your mother's grandchild. If I were you I wouldn't acknowledge her for treating you this way!!!

Answer 7

I understand how you feel. I was only 21 when I got pregnant though. At the same time that I found out I was pregnant, I decided to drop out of pharmacy school (something I never really wanted to do but I only did it because both of my parents went and they talked me into it), and decided to do nursing school instead. Yes I would not make nearly as much money, but I felt like I would get done faster, and it was something I wanted to do. My mother was horrified. She was upset because I had gotten through 3 years of pharmacy school and I was pregnant with my now husband, who she did not like. She didnt talk to me for weeks and made sure that everytime my dad talked to me, he reminded me that I gave my mother heart palpitations and I dissapointed her. When we did start communicating again. She would let me know how immature I was for making that decision and not having an abortion. How much of a dissapointment I was to her compared to my other sisters ( one of who is a lawyer, and the other who was accepted into an ivy league school.) It made me feel absolutely horrible. I felt like my mother could never love my child like a grandmother should and I would have to limit our relationship. However, once my lil girl was born, she acted like the baby was hers! She absolutely looooves her "grandbaby". Point being, your mother may not agree with your decision, and she doesn't have to, but she does have to respect it and realize that at the end of the day there is nothing she can do about it. She will get over it, especially when you have that beautiful child. If she doesn't, then she is going to miss out on A LOT and she will regret it. Don't let your mother's behavior get to you, you do the best you can and let God take care of the rest. Good luck!!

Answer 8

It is your decision and while it would be hard I would tell my mother that I am not going to try and talk her into and that when she is ready to accept the baby she can let me know. In the meantime I would just leave her alone. She will probably come around eventually. You could try sending her things like the ultrasound pics with a note saying.... "just thought you'd like to see the first pic of your grandchild"

Answer 9

Your mom is over reacting, dont let her push into abortion,you are grown, more than grown, in your 30's you are old enough to make your own desicions without her say so. Most men in there have kids already any way, so she is just trippin, let her be the way she is, dont feed into her and set urself up for a miscarraige, just stay cool, and look forward to having a beautiful baby soon.

Answer 10

I would work on concentrating on building a wonderful life for myself and the life inside me. Don't let your Mom's issues become yours- there are worse things in life than being an unmarried Mom. She is just sad this is not what she had hoped for you, but perhaps she won't care when that little grandchild arrives. I am sorry she does not support you- I personally know how much that hurts.