What would you do if your husband went out drinking with his friends, came home stumbling, fell asleep on the couch and pee'd on it while asleep? Just curious to know... I'm flying home to be with my family for a while (this isn't the first time it's happened). I want to make sure I'm not overreacting.
2007-06-22 12:50:54 · 37 answers · asked by Christina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have assets, you are overreacting.
Get the advice of a good divorce attorney. If you have significant marital assets, you don't want to abandon your home and property.
If you dont, then just file for divorce from the bum and get it over with. My dogs don't even pee on the sofas.
2007-06-22 13:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by Beach Saint 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to go out on a night that you know he'll be home. dont tell him you're going, just go out and have a good time. dont come home and wet on the couch, haha, but i'm tellling you, when the tables are turned he wont like it much at all!!
also depends on how old he is. if he's not quit acting this way by the time he's 35 at the oldest, he's no good for you.
you have to think too, does he work, ishe responsible, doyou have kids, does he cheat, does he do drugs, is he abusive, and your relationship with him. from the sounds of it, your relationship is failing from the alcohol alone.
please dont jump to conclusions and divorce him right away. you need to take everything into consideration and have a serious talk with him. if you goig out and a serious talk doesn't do the trick for you then he doesn't care and is not worth your time and effort in trying to save a marrriage.
i went thruough that for 6 years, once my husband turned 35, i kicked him out and divorced him. he has numerous dwi's, we wasted so much money on his drinking and attorney's fees. finally it caught up to him-he's 42 and had an auto accident a year and a half ago and is now paralyzed from the chest down. he had been drinking while he wrecked. now my children suffer from seeing their father in this shape and the fact that they dont have a father to interact with them. he wasnt much of a father anyway before that, but you get what i'm saying.
2007-06-22 15:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by *** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this isn't the first time it's happened and you have talked to him about his behavior and he simply refuses to change, then you are not overreacting. If you didn't communicate with him about it at all and out of nowhere said, "that's it, I'm leaving", I'd say you are over reacting.
I hope you realize though that flying home to "punish" him may not get the reaction you expect. He may not feel enough remorse to just fix things on his own and expect you to come home when things are better. Any problem in marriage, no matter whose fault it is, needs to be worked on by both partners if things are going to get better. If you are going to run away from your problems and expect them to solve themselves, it's not going to happen.
If you are doing this because you genuinely are thinking about leaving him and need some time to decide, then your decision wasn't irrational.
2007-06-22 12:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by April 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt respond to his calls......give him a few days to think about what he has done (and for the pee on the couch to dry)
then tell him if he wants you back he has to grow up and toe the line. No more boozing with his friends. If he still wanted all that, why did he choose to marry you in the first place. Sounds like he was not ready to get married and be a grown up. Sounds like he belongs back with the frat boys.....find a real man, that is what I would do
2007-06-22 12:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be pretty irritated myself. Especially if you have children in the house. But, even without children this is no way to treat your wife, very disrespectful. I could understand if it was just a once in a blue moon thing where he and his buddies got together for a ball game or something, but this sounds like it happens more than once in a blue moon, so no, I dont think you are over reacting.
2007-06-22 13:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are we talking like he's an alcoholic or he occasionally goes out and gets drunk with friends? How old is he? Have you discussed his drinking? Running away (which is essentially what you're doing) won't solve things. Marital problems don't get fixed with the "dump him" attitude most on here are giving you. Is it worth it to walk away from him without trying? You've gotta weigh the pros and cons here. Best of luck.
2007-06-22 14:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by duckygrl21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW...If my husband came home like that it would leavesoo much doubt in my head as to what else went on...and if he chose to sleep on the couch and wet himself Id be pretty perturbed.Id most likely tell him exactly how I feel in the nicest possible way and see what changes from there. MK
2007-06-22 13:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sexah Mamma :) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting, especially if this is not the first time it has happened. Your husband needs help. Apparently, he doesn't know his limits. I would suggest you talking him into getting some help--maybe he should stop drinking all together.
2007-06-22 13:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by e2track 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...My sisters Ex used to do that all the time. Still does with his new girlfriend apparently. Dirty so and so. She ended up kicking him out as he peed on her in bed a few times and she realised he had an alcohol problem..
2007-06-22 13:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by West Aussie Chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters I would be making him clean it up and wash what ever needed to be washed. As for over reacting depends on how often he does this. If its every week I would be giving him an ultimatum and saying he either cleans up his behaviour or you may start to look elsewhere, as you are not going to be put through this every week. Cheers and good luck.
2007-06-22 12:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋