Its been 3wks now that me and my ex ended an 8yr. relationship and he now has moved on and has a new girlfriend and now my question is if its too soon for him to take my kids for the wkd and spend time with them and his new girlfriend? My kids know that daddy has a girlfriend but I do not know how will react to see daddy with someone who isnt their mommy...
2007-06-22 10:59:17 · 21 answers · asked by viviana g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The kids need their daddy.
2007-06-22 11:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by less 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...3 weeks?
I waited almost 2 years...I had various girlfriends...but I never included them in with my time with my kids until I met my current girlfriend. Even after that...I waited until after we had been seeing each other for several months (until I knew that our relationship was stable) and then they briefly met her along with some other friends. My kids seemed to like her, but I still didn't tell them that we were an item. Then I asked my oldest (7 yr. old daughter) what she thought of her...and if she thought it would be okay if I asked Cindy out on a "Date." I also told her that she would she would always be "My #1 girl", and that her opinion meant a lot to me.
I got her blessing ("Oh Daddy...That would be COOL!") and after a while I announced to both my kids (I also have a 4 yr. old son) that Cindy was now my girlfriend. We now live together..and my weekends with my kids are great.
Your Ex's time with his kids are his business...they are, after all, his kids too, and he has every right to do whatever he sees fit....however, if this bothers you - you need to speak with him about it. It's one thing to see that "Daddy has a girlfriend"...later they will see that "Mommy has a boyfriend"...but an endless string of other adults comming & going in & out of their lives is not healthy.
Remember, they will grow attached too...and they aren't the ones breaking up...They just see that this new adult in their lives that was so cool is now gone .. Your Ex should still have his time with his kids...but maybe bring her into the picture a little slower--but it is his call.
Talk with him...Don't act like the "Jealous Ex"..just voice your concerns about the kids.
Good Luck to you and everyone involved!
2007-06-22 11:40:16 · answer #2 · answered by MACHNGUN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too soon.
And you didn't say if the new girlfriend is a live in. If so, you need to make it clear to your ex that she sleeps on the couch when the kids are over for an overnight stay.
Some readers will call me old-fashioned, but your ex has a responsibility to still be a role model (and maybe is already blowing it).
Good luck
mg
2007-06-22 11:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Matt G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must have had her waiting in the wings. I left after 12 years of marriage with my two children and it was 9 months before I could allow myself to see someone and my children only met one man I dated. I know that children need healing time. I did as a child and my children did. I would kindly ask my ex to give our children some time before either are seen with someone else.Give their minds time to accept the separation. Why would he even allow them to know he has a girlfriend three weeks after separating, I think most kids would hold it against their Dad for moving on so quickly.
2007-06-22 11:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you all are pushing this too quickly. Let the kids have time to adjust, to know that Dad has NOT left them. They are going to think that Dad had a girl friend before he left you if you do this....maybe not today, but down the line. Give it a few more months, and besides, the new girl friend may be just that...a transient girl friend. IT is NOT a good idea to drag the kids into things like this. Good luck and peace.
2007-06-22 11:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
those are my well-liked names: Addison Caroline Vivianne Bailey Madelyn Esme Lucy Elizabeth Aubrey Lynn Rosalie Grace Aiden Nicholas Landon Zachary Benjamin Riley Mason Greggory Liam Conner
2016-09-28 07:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been 3 weeks since you ended the relationship or since he finally moved out. Either way, I think it's way too soon for those kids to have to adjust to someone else in their lives. I mean dad just walked out and now he's with another woman already living with him and everything. Please guys have some respects for those poor kids who are probably wondering what the heck happened to their normal family.
Good luck
2007-06-22 11:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow only three weeks, that is way too soon for the kids to actually see him with his new girlfriend. If he wants to see them then he should not have his girlfriend around.
2007-06-22 11:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya i think it may be way to soon so just sit down with the kids and explain it to them then give it some time and say so are you guys ready to see daddys new girlfriend and let them go with them good luck
2007-06-22 11:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Savannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is way too soon for kids to be exposed to new partners of divorced parents. My ex and I have 3 teenagers and their father would never dream of introducing anyone new to them unless it was serious. I am on the other hand remarried.
2007-06-22 11:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question depends on the age and maturity of the children. If they know the truth it is best . They will soon let their Father know their feelings given half a chance.
2007-06-22 11:06:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋