I am 16yrs old and pregnant! Help!!?

Question

Okay I am 16 yrs. old and I am 21 weeks pregnant. I was raped in January by a guy whose name I do not know, nor did I know him so how can I possibly turn him in when I don't even know where he is..who he is..or what he looks like? I have always been too afraid to tell my parents so even they don't know that I was raped or that I am pregnant from it. I want to tell them, but I know that they will me very mad and hurt me. I haven't gone to the hospital since I was raped either, because again I am SCARED to death to know whats really going on. I am out of school already and in college but I don't have enough money to go to the doctor over something probably not needing medical care anyways. Does anyone have any advice on what to do or how to tell my parents? I want the easiest way out!

Please only detailed answers. Only answer my question if you are serious about helping me.. DON'T LEAVE A ONE SENTENCE ANSWER PLEASE!!!

Answer 1

hey...please tell your parents and take support. please remember that what has happened to you didnt happen cause of your fault. but at the same time please also remember that there is a new life in you. I can understand that at 16 it doesnt seem as the most exciting thing, but you need help and support and ofcourse medical attention and i have no clue how you are going to do it alone. instead of taking it alone, please share your agony with family. I'm sure even if they are mad at you, they love you and they will help you out with the situation. as to how to tell, u are the best judge. Select a perfect timing and let them know point blank about it. or may be leave a letter or use the phone if you are not able to do it face to face.
once you tell them things will atleast fal in place. I'm sorry this happened to you and shall keep you in my prayers. all the best.

Answer 2

If you are 21 weeks, you are too far along for a legal abortion. If you don't want the child, you should put it up for adoption. But I truly feel you should tell your parents. If you really were raped, I think you should also tell the police (even though the details aren't all there) you could tell them where and when it happened and perhaps prevent this from happening to someone else. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing right now is to get medical care. And even if your parents are mad, and hurt, they can help you make these hard decisions. They are adults. The best thing to do is just sit them down or call them and say "I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do, so I'm turning to you for your advice." (Don't say help, this is a shock to them, so using the word advice is better until they get over the initial shock). Once they get over the hurt, they will be your best ally. After all, you ARE still THEIR BABY no matter how old you are.

Answer 3

Well... for starters sorry that things have to be so harsh at times. Well for one your 5 1/2 months and i think now days they will abort the baby up 6 months if that was an option you were thinking of? Also You might want to look into Planned Parent Hood. I know when i went there i was around your age and had gotten on birth control. They have a privacy policy they will not tell your parents anything if you don't want them to know. Also i'm sure since your only 16 and raped they will more than likely pay for most or all of it. Or your local health department. Just call them tell them your story they should be able to help you. Thats the only way i can think of to help you out of this one...

And maybe abortion wouldn't be your thing. When i think of a 16 year old pregnant from being raped or anyone for that matter. It's gotta be nerve wrecking. Very scary situation. I don't beleive in abortions. I think they are wrong. But in this situation wrong doesn't matter, your just 16 still a little girl yourself and i hope that whatever your plans may be Just make sure that your happy, not anyone else.

But.... On the other Just tell your mother you and her need to sit down and talk maybe out to eat or something. Just tell her like you told us, tell her you were scared... Don't let this interefere with your school. Don't drop out because having a kid is huge responsibility. Without your schooling it's gonna be hard to support the child. Ask your mother for her help and make sure she knows it's greatly apreciated. If your parents don't want to help you there is programs that will with child care(babysitting), housing, utilities, medical health and dental insurance, groceries, transportation, and even pay for your schooling. Honestly once you tell your parents everything will be a little bit smoother. Knowing myself i would tell my mother first and eventually everyone else will find out. hope i was some help...

Answer 4

first i am very sorry this happened to you!! but honey, it is something that needs medical attention; you need the right prenatal care not only for your baby but for yourself. are you still living at home? if youre that scared ask a close friend or someone to tell your parents with you. they shouldnt be mad if it was a rape; its not like you were carelessly having sex! i hope they would be a bit more understanding than that, considering the circumstances! if youre afraid of being hurt, set up with a friend or other family member that you can go stay with them until your parents would cool off. you do need to tell them, and go over your options, if you havent already decided are you keeping the baby or looking into adoption? youre 5 moths pregnant, and abortion isnt an option now; it would be a partial birth abortion, and thats not legal (or shouldnt be in most places) at 21 weeks, with the right medical care, a baby can survive outside the womb at this stage; so please dont think of abortion this late along. you need your parents support here, and you also can get medical help from the state. call 1800-986-BABY and they can get you all the info you need to apply for it. no pregnant mother will go without medical coverage! they will help make sure you get all the medical attention you need either free or at a cost you can afford. good luck!!

Answer 5

i would tell a friend of the family what has happened and how you feel, maybe an aunt or older cousin, someone you can trust to be supportive. you are not alone this sort of thing happens all the time. decide who you think is the best person to tell and tell them first thing tomorrow. you can have an abortion up to 30 weeks. you could also keep the baby or adopt. i feel very worried for you state of mind, you need to get as much moral support as possible. it is a terrible thing to go through alone. try to keep this in the family because people can be cruel as you have found out. don't be scared your parents want to love you not hurt you. you should first tell someone else though so that you feel supported when you tell your parents, you should first tell them that you were raped, and then tell them that you think or know that you are pregnant. it might be best for you to tell them that you have missed your period and do a test with them. i think that they will be more understanding and less jumping to the wrong conclusions that way. good luck honey, don't let this ruin your life. i hope this helps. x

Answer 6

You can qualify for emergency medical assistance through the department of social services, depending on what state you live in you can probably keep this from your parents. The medical assistance can help you with whatever you choose to do about this, if you want to keep it or abort. If you choose to have an abortion do it soon before it's too late. Because you are past the first trimester you will need to let them know that you were raped because they won't do it otherwise. To report the rape they would take a DNA test from the baby and can possibly catch him with that. If this guy has gotten into trouble before for any kind of felony violence charge they will have his DNA on record. I feel for you, I was gang raped by 5 guys when I was 13, I suggest reporting it, and getting some counseling, it helps.
Good luck with whatever decision you decide to make.

Answer 7

It's not your fault! You need to tell your parents what happened to you and what it has resulted in. They may be hurt or angry you didn't tell them, but they will understand it's not your fault. You should have gotten a rape kit done when it happened, but I understand that in that situation, you are scared and young and traumatized. They could have gotten the DNA of the rapist and physical proof of rape to use against the guy should he attack someone else. As it is now, it's nothing more than your word against his and without an ID of the guy(due to a mask or blindfold or whatever) it's even harder.

You more than likely are still covered under your parents insurance since you are a student(some might doubt you are in college but I don't since I've known 2 people who graduated early and started college by 16) and technically you are still a minor and should be covered anyway. You really need to see a dr. you owe it to yourself and your baby to be checked for STD ans HIV before the baby is born. They can prevent that child from catching anything that could kill him, cause permanent brain damage, cause blindness etc. Regardless of how you feel about how the baby was concieved you wouldn't want him hurt because you didn't get prenatal help in time would you? If you don't want to keep the baby, it's time to start looking into adoption. My SIL was raped and she carried her baby to term and reluctantly put him up for adoption. She knew it was the best thing for him, because she had no job, was in college, didn't really have the family support telling her to keep it that they would help her make it work and she couldn't bear the idea of looking at her child and think about being attacked when she just wanted to love him. It's been 9+ years now and that little boy is in a healthy happy home with two parents who love him very much and my SIL finished her schooling has a great career, got married and has had another child. She still gets letters from the adoptive family about his life, but that's between you and the family you choose if you choose adoption. You'll never forget the one you give up for adoption, but it's the most selfless act of love a mother can have for her child. God's peace to you and healing

Answer 8

You were raped. This was, in no way, your fault. Your body was attacked by a man that has no respect for life. You should not feel fear when talking to your parents about such a serious subject. The man could have given you a Sexually Transmitted Disease and you may not even know. Your parents will tell you how to go through your problem.

Answer 9

It is NOT your fault. You need to tell your parents. If they hurt you, go to the police. Even if you don't know who raped you, the police may be able to figure it out from the details of where you were when it happened, etc. You should have reported it immediately. They would have given you a morning after pill that would have prevented a pregnancy. You need medical attention and help.
For some reason, I do not believe this story. For one thing, you have posted this question 5 times and got many responses. Why are you posting it again?

Answer 10

It's horrible that you have been raped, and it's no wonder that you have been filled with fear ever since. You do need to get yourself to the point where you tell your parents and see a doctor.
...but I think right now, the best place to start, is to look up your local rape crises center so you can talk with people that know exactly what you're going through. They can help you feel less scared and get whatever help and care you need.

best wishes