What are the benefits of going away to college versus going locally (for my daughter)?

Question

Why is going away when it costs approx 10K more a year to live on campus somewhere?

Answer 1

The biggest advantage to moving away is the maturity and independence it instantly develops since mom and dad can't come to the rescue if something minor goes wrong. Obviously, if there is something really seriously wrong, you will be there as soon as you can. Your daughter will have to learn how to assert herself and negotiate with instructors, landlords and other students. The biggest adavantages to going to school locally are familiarity with the area and money. If she lives at home, the room and board will most likely be a lot less than a few hundred miles away.

Answer 2

The lessons learned at college, away from home, last a life time. Your daughter is essentially a woman now. Your influences and values were instilled in her a long time ago. Let her spread her wings in the safety of an environment in which hundreds of other young people are doing the same.

Of course it's liberating to be out from under the immediate parental thumb and sure, some (or most) kids get a bit loose. But she has that right to be a normal college student. College is about having fun as much as it is about learning. Not all learning comes from the books. Things like failing a test because you were goofing off extend into the real work world. Where else is she going to have the chance to fend for herself, yet remain in the relative safe environment of a college campus? The friends she'll make, the conversations she'll have--the growing she'll do...not a bad $10K investment in her future.

I've never known a college student who didn't need more money. Going away to college is one of life's best lessons on finances. Most first year college students gain weight! That's because they buy junk food and snack instead of eating like they did at home. But that's part of the experience..a rite of passage.

A word of advice...don't whine when the expected phone calls don't come. Every kid forgets...and it's a little like havingto be in the house by ten. She'll test things for sure, but she has to find her own way. If you've done a good job raising her, these will be some memories she'll cherish.

Of course, you'll hate every hour! :-)

Answer 3

Aside from whether or not the school can provide a better education and has more opportunities to do things like research or learn from top scholars, going away for school will make your daughter learn how to become independent and responsible in a more gradual way than her moving out later on. Universities ask students to be responsible for their bills, belongings, personal health and such while having a lot of resources available close by and staff around that she can go to if there is a problem, and sometimes can provide the flexibility in understanding that they are young and learning. This is not the kind of flexibility people find with most landlords, law enforcement, etc.

Also, residential students are more connected to their learning and to their institution than commuter students. Students living on campus are more likely to make friends with their peers, and these people will later become colleagues and other important contacts as they become professionals. When students have to form study groups and the like, all of the students are close by and can meet when is convenient for everyone. This is often really late at night, and so your daughter wouldn't be driving home at a really late hour, tired after studying. She also wouldn't need to have a car, so you'd save the money there and on gas, and depending on how far away she went for school, her car insurance costs may drop.

Answer 4

Firstly, ask her what she wants. Far too many parents make the mistake of thinking they know their kids head to toe (then get shocked to pieces when they discover they've smoked pot and had sex).

I would of loved it to pieces to have been lived at a dorm, but mexican universities don't have dorms and it would of been dumb to rent a room in the area near my university (everyone there is pretty damn expensive) when I only live 30 minutes away when there isn't traffic.

Is your daughter the type that phones you EVERYTIME she gets off a bus so that you're sure she's fine? Does the family get together with the cousins of the nephew of your step-brother for a picnic on a regular basis?

These things determine a lot whether she will like to stay with you so that she doesn't feel lonely or instead wishes to be a dorm student and have a social life with her peers.

On one hand you're saving money on food and rent and such, on the other she's losing a chance to get a taste of independance to screw things up and then learn from it. I agree that commuters don't get the chance to make friends out of their peers. I don't really get along with my university peers. When you waste 4-5 hours a day travelling in traffic + 7 hours of schoolwork each day, who could ever have a social life?

However my internship will begin in 1 year, so it will be my chance to move out to have the experience I always wanted and could never have to live on my own.

Answer 5

Can't really add to the answers, except to say this time in her life is more than just learning book knowledge. She needs to learn how to function as an adult, without the safety net of mommy and daddy. If she moves away she will have 4 years to learn how to cook her meals, do her laundry, study on her own, work in partying and boyfriends, all while managing her credit and responsibilities. This is her time in life to learn this. If you're worried about money, start her on a gradual plan to become self sufficient. Tell her you will pay all her expenses her first freshman semester, and by her last senior semester you expect her to pay all her own bills.

Far too many students get out of college without the slightest idea how to live on their own. That's what you're paying the extra $10K for - so that she can teach herself how to be self-sufficient.

Answer 6

I, too, am a parent of TWO college-age daughters, and I am a University administrator. To Windi's answer, spot on! Living on campus allows for a gradual move from home to the rigors of 'the real world.' If you can swing it, I say go for it.

Both of my children opted to go to the University where I work. Not because I am there, but because after looking into the programs at various universities, ours has the best programs for their chosen Majors. (Also, I am sure the familiarity of the area was a plus for both of them.) Fortunately, their last name is different from mine, because I am fairly visible on campus. Unless they share the information with someone, no one need know who their mom is.

Having said that, they were told all along that even if they chose this school, they would not live at home. It is important for them AND for us to transition into a different life stage. They need the freedom to mess up without me there to clean up their messes, to manage their time, to solve their own problems and meet new people . . . to become who they want to be rather than who I expect them to be. They ask advice when they really want it. They check in frequently, stop by for lunch on occasion, and share their latest woes and triumphs with me. They are doing well, both came home this summer, but I suspect this will be the last time.

So... look for the best 'fit' first when you look at schools, then make decisions about housing. If it is the right school for her, it is the whole package, not just the look of a building or the kind of living arrangement. If she goes further than commuting distance, your decision is made for you. If she goes locally, but still has the option of on-campus housing, I say go for it. The vast majority of students are better off for it.

Good luck!

Answer 7

It's a growing-up process for children who become adults and want some separation from their parents -- the chance to forge out on their own and create a life for themselves.

Personally, I lived at home because I was more concerned about other things, but that's why going away is important to some people.

Answer 8

I would strongly encourage any and every college student to live away from home, assuming it is financially feasible. College students need to learn to take care of themselves, without mom and dad always there to help out. Plus the undergraduate experience is a unique one, especially if you live in the dorms. You get to meet people from all over the place, and learn how to live with them all (it's not always easy, but it's a great learning experience).

Answer 9

i do no longer understand, my mum and dad are not like that, extremely. They advised me that if the two my brother or i want help interior the destiny, they're going to help us the two out as much as they are able to, and featuring residing returned of their domicile if want be. They have not suggested something approximately treating my brother extra strictly than myself, nevertheless. i think of all they might want is for us to get a activity and help them out around the domicile. looks truthful.

Answer 10

going locally can save a lot of money, and she would be closer to her family. but going away does give you new experiences and the chance of beign on your own and learning how to manage your finances and things better.