ok my mom has never really been there 4 me...what should i do?

Question

ok my mom cheated on my dad about 9 or 10 years ago...& ive lived wit my dad 4 bout 7 to 8 years...shes never sent a dime 2 me she doesnt even care...she says she loves me & i say i hate her[not 2 her face]she says she cares but never calls on hollidays or my b-day...shes missed out on everything

Answer 1

My stepsons mom has done the same thing to him, only it's been 11 years since he's heard from her. I told him that maybe his mother knows that she can't take care of him the way that we do and that she doesn't want to cause drama in his life, so she stopped all communication.

Perhaps that's how your own mother thinks. Maybe she knows that she can't be the mom that you need her to be, so she stepped out of the picture.

Answer 2

This is to your mother: "You get out of this world, what you put into it"

Ok, she gave birth to you, but if that's all, then she made a major mistake and she has a major problem. Cheating on your father, never taking care of you? She will definitely pay for this.

It's truly sad, but she does not deserve you. She's going to eventually try to get you back. That's when she should crawl on her knees begging for your forgiveness and doing anything to make you happy. She could never heal the wounds, but she might be able to make you happy someday.

Just remember your in charge now and I can already tell, your doing a great job! Good Luck & God Bless

Answer 3

You should just concentrate on your life and the relationships you have in your life now. One day when you mother is much older she will look back on her life and truly regret missing out on your life. That is something she has to deal with, not you. You spent a good part of growing up dealing with this. It is time for you just to move on with your life and one day you may or may not forgive her. That will be entirely up to you and not her or anyone else.

Answer 4

Accept your life as it is. No use wasting your time thinking about what could have been. Be glad that you have a dad that is there for you. Believe it or not, your mother will suffer for what she has(and hasn't) done. My great gran raised me and now that I am a mum myself, my mother wants me to help her, let her see her grandkids etc. I refuse. She was never there for me, nor had time, so why should I have time for her now?

Answer 5

I hope you do better than my Fiance's boys are doing...

When they were growing up their Mom would lock them out of the house from morning to night, giving them money for food and amusement so she could get on the computer with her lover from Canada. She left their Dad 3 different times for this Canadian, Dad brought her back twice. Dad worked away from home on construction jobs. The Canadian sent her equipment to put on her computer so he could see and hear everything in the home, so when Dad came in off the road he monitored everything. When Dad found out about it, after he brought her back home the second time, he destroyed the monitor and keyboard to the computer. She left one day, not telling the boys, not contacting them or anyone in her family for over a year. The youngest boy was 14 at this time and very confused, the oldest dropped out of school and became withdrawn. Today the boys are 21 & 23, neither can hold down a job, stay in a relationship with a girl very long, do drugs, drink every night and won't help around the house and won't move out and get their own place. Their Mother calls full of drama about how her life stinks and if only Daddy would let her come back home how good their life would be and tells the boys how abusive their Dad was to her, using her as a punching bag and slapping her around for years( since I have been here he has never raised his voice to me let alone his hand or fist, he is a gentle giant) and the biggest issue I have with the whole ugly thing is she says if it wasn't for me being here(she calls me the skinny Bi*#h) she would have been back long ago...like it is my fault she is not here. I have been here 4 years now, right after the youngest turned 17, he was in juvie jail for drugs when I moved in so it was probably 6 months before I ever met him. She lies to them, downgrades me at every chance she gets and the real topper is she is the mistress of the Canadian she left my fiance for. Her Canadian has her in an apartment in another town (not even in his country will he take her too) pays all her bills, but refuses to buy her a car, so she sits up there and does home computer work for his paper while he keeps his monitor on her 24/7 (I guess he is afraid she will screw around on him like she did her husband). It is such a sick situation that for the boys birthday she wasn't even given enough money to buy them a birthday cake so she had another member of the family buy the mix and icing for her and she made it and sent it down to them. He comes down from Canada twice a month and buys her groceries and booze. Any time there is a problem with the boys between them and their Dad she calls the Canadian and he gives her all kinds of stupid advise...this Canadian is 15 years her JUNIOR, she is 57 he is 42 he has a wife and 3 kids the youngest is only 4. She has never paid any child support for the boys yet she tells them constantly that this is half her house and they can do as they please here on her say-so. When she disappeared the last time my Fiance had to quit his job because he was needed at home, no longer able to work on the road he found it hard to find a good job in his late 40's around this area so times were hard for all of them. When I moved in he was close to losing his home because he was behind in house payments, the fridge was almost bare, the yards and house itself needed attention and they had no cable or internet. I have a great job that leaves me plenty of home time and pays a decent wage. He went to work paying off back debts and fixing things up. In the past 4 years we have remodeled the inside and outside of the home. We have cupboards and freezers full of food. Him and I have done this all together, we enjoy "OUR" home and "OUR" life, yet this woman that abandoned her boys, didn't call them for over a year thinks this is half hers.

My advise to you to keep peace in your heart and love for your Dad is to ignore the woman that gave you life before she destroyes the life you have...good luck to you

Answer 6

Accept the fact that she really doesn't care and move on with your life. There is no point dwelling upon the things you can't control. But you can focus upon the things that you can, such as your own future.