how do you deal with peoples remarks and comments?

Question

im 30 years old, ive had bpd, depression and rage and anxiety problems since 15, im waiting on a list for therapy right now, all i want to do is get better and achieve some kind of a life for myself...i find it difficult to go out because of high anxiety, low self esteem and social phobia.
so i only go out when i need to, i had a problem with rage and outbursts in the past when in public, years and years ago, i assaulted someone, so i have a criminal record to...
since then ive made alot of improvements and just want to better myself and my life, and somehow put the past behind me, im ashamed of my mental health record and criminal record.
however i just went to the super market and as i was at the checkout i over heard some woman say to another woman'' yeah he's described as a dangerous man, who lives in his own little world,'' they were obviously talking about someone disturbed, but i cant help but feel they were insinuating me, subliminally, i want to no how do you deal with

people when they say stuff like this? i find it
disturbing when people talk about stuff like this
but also to when i think their meaning it to get
at me personally....and it did hit home what
the woman said, because i live a secluded,
lonely life because of my disorder and have been
through alot on my life, trauma and pain. so things
like that can easily touch a nerve with me, because
id hate to end up like the man the woman was talking
about.

Answer 1

I'm sorry but I am probably the worst person to ask. I have been through a lot but to advise you on how to live your life would be dumb. You have to find your own path, first I would say like yourself if you don't how can others. Everyone have feeling of violence but take one step at a time. I want to hit this man but I won't today. I have fears when I meet people, will they like me or will I offend them. I hear a lot of fear in you voice the people don't like you but also I'm hearing it from you. I think you have a lot going for you, one thing your writing is a hundred per cent better then several I have read tonight. I think you for wanting me to try to help you. Now listen to your heart not your mind.

Answer 2

I have a history of depression in my family and alcoholism. My mother was diagnosed with bpd this year, which I think the doctors should have discovered along time ago. She has lived a very hard life because she has a drinking problem and depression. It was so sad when she started popping pain killers. I feel that I battle it everyday. Somedays are way better than others. I have anxiety too. I hate big crowds. I get really nervous when meeting new people because I feel I won't know what to say. To answer your question I think you should try to change your thoughts about people. People are actually good hearted and if you just start to open your heart to them you will see a big change in your life. Maybe give a little smile, pay closer attention to the positive things that are happening around you. Start by not caring what others think unless you made a friend. I am 30 years old too. Please don't read this as if I am acting like I know everything because I don't want to come across as a Dr. Phil, (he is such a tool) but depression is difficult. I refuse to take meds for it, maybe I should, but life is now keep telling yourself that. I hope the next decade of your life is great. I hope the day you turn 40 you have a smile on your face and can look back at your 30's and have great memories. I am going to try to do the same. I wish we could all just erase the word depression from our language.....Start doing all the things you think about doing that you don't do and make yourself feel good. Writing to you right now was one of mine.

Answer 3

Dude!
Don't be so self concious #1! Don't assume people are talking about you when they babble foolishly. Try this next time you go out: listen to the almost moronic yammering of someone on thier phone! Hours of free entertainment! Most people don't even know the difference between thier home, and the public when their phone rings. Idiots!

#2 Let go of the shame!!! You have paid the price for your mistake, consider it dealt with! File it in file 13.
#3 Again, do not place such a high value on the opinions of others! They are no better than you are, so why would you give them such high regard? Stand up straight, and show the world your greatness! They won't believe in you until you do it first!
4. You're the Capt. of your ship! You're in charge! Stand tall on the bridge, and make careful decisions! They'll affect the lives of many around you! Show them why you're great! There were many great men in history with the same shackels as you! The only difference is they lost them along the way! Throw those irons aside, and go get 'em! The only thing stopping you is you! Believe in yourself, and set no boundries. Set sail Capt! The world is yours to see!
5.Whatever your anxiety, face it, and then throw it aside. It only slows you down. You can do this! You have the power within you! You just need to believe you can do it, then begin to achieve it! You won't get anywhere just sitting, start moving and you'll find soon you are'nt in the same ol' place!

I know you can overcome this, I was that way long ago. You just need to leave it behind you. Put the rock down, and leave it lie. Realize that most people are babbling, especially in public. Pay no attention to them. Alot people talk just to be making noise. Don't let noise bother you.

Now go show the world you're greatness! You can do it

Answer 4

ok, my understanding from your explaination sounds like the kind of anxiety you're suffering from is the fear of how others might perceive you, as in your personality and character. You don't have to be over worried with this as long as you have a clear conscience. In this situation, you have a choice. You can either ignore them totally because they are dumb or you can confront them and clarify with them or even lodge a police report if they bothers you a lot.

From my experience, some ladies can be very irritating gossipers. Don't allow these problem to affect you so much so that you cannot lead a proper life. What I see here is that you're just being too soft hearted and kind and just trying to hide yourself away from it. Maybe, you should retaliate by talking bad about them and make them hate themselves, feel guilty and intimidated to shut them up. It may not sound to be a good advice to you but this is what I am doing to handle such problems. You should stay confident and recognise your own capabilities and forget about all those low self esteem or social phobia issues.

My conclusion is that these idiotic people are testing our patience. All you need to know is that the problem lies with them for being repugnant and not you. Brace up!

Answer 5

There is no way we are qualified to provide you with an answer. I have never experienced that kind of angst.

Please continue to seek professional help.

The only thing I can say is that when we feel insecure, we always think that others are looking at us and talking about us. This is not true. I know this doesn't help, but honestly, I have more to do than comment to my neighbor about the people I see when I am out and about. I'm not staring trying to find someone who is "different" so I can talk about them out loud in public.

Answer 6

This is tough. Perhaps you should try to ignore the comments or not take them personally. Maybe it would help to learn to think more positively about yourself and of others. Have you thought about getting involved in community activities like volunteering? Maybe it would be good for you to focus on others and less about yourself? Is that possible? I'm a bit shy and anxious about being out socially myself.

Answer 7

I gave up trying to please everyone. Who cares what a stranger thinks? I don't! I often have anxiety attacks when I leave my house and when I have to deal with large crowds of people. To keep from having to go through the panic attacks I avoid going to places when they're crowded. Early mornings are usually the best times.

Answer 8

For me it depends. If the comment is good, I go on with my life. If the comment is bad, then I feel more alert about something I need to do better.

Answer 9

you really have to tell yourself, that you are not going to be talked about anymore, and that no matter what is said, it isn't you they are referring too...and ignore them...you can't let people rule your life forever darling..and happy birthday, I must have missed it!! do you still yahoo?