I was married last Friday. A very high class ceremony with all the trimmings. Anyway, a long story short:
We did all the normal stuff - speeches, dinner, 1st dance…. However, I will admit, I did rush through greeting / thanking all the guests so I could grab the 'gift box' filled with all the money envelopes.
I finished the last table & told my wife I had to use the men's room - instead a took the box to our room and counted all the money. It was eating me alive to see how much these people gave. No family of 4 at my wedding is giving $35 and getting away with it!!
About 90 minutes later my wife and some other concerned guests found me in the hotel room. I explained what I was doing but they were very angry. They even SWORE at me!!!
I really was not gone that long & don't think it is that big of a deal. I wanted to make sure we made a profit on the wedding.
She is still fuming mad - states she was embarrassed. What is wrong so wrong with what I did?
2007-06-22 07:44:53 · 22 answers · asked by Rick Martel 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Other - Business & Finance
Your marriage will not be"'til death do us part", it will be "money do us part".
2007-06-22 07:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, you left your own wedding for 90 minutes so you could count the money you made? You don't understand why your wife is mad at you? Last time I checked, the purpose of a wedding was not to make money. I'm also pretty sure my wife would have went postal had I chosen to leave the wedding reception for 90 minutes for anything! I also think the most appalling thing is that you seem to be saying you would have confronted anyone who you felt didn't give you enough money right there at the reception. Personally, had I attended your wedding, I'd ask for my gift back! You've upset and humiliated your wife. Everyone that knows why you were gone for so long is probably furious to know they took time out of their busy lives to celebrate a happy occasion of someone they care about, only to find out just how shallow that person is. Your family must be downright ashamed. Yet, you still have no clue what you did that was so wrong.....ridiculous!
2016-05-17 21:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
90 minutes is not that long? Perhaps on a normal day this is true - however, on your wedding day when you are the groom it is a very long time to be absent from the festivities. People took time out of their day's activities to come and be part of what should be a special event in your life. The message that you sent to your wife and guests through your actions is that the money in those envelopes is more important than they are. And of course you made a profit on the wedding - since her parents most likely paid for it in the traditional manner.
My opinion is that you are completely in the wrong on this. You definitely need to do something to express to your new bride that she is the most important part of your life. Of course that means that you have to be willing to shell out some cash without expecting a financial return on it.
And if you have any class at all, you will also include a letter of apology to the guests who were with your wife when they found you counting the day's take.
2007-06-22 07:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by kitchens68 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, what you did is disgraceful. Have you no concept of decency? To even ask this question is absurd. You really have no idea as to why these people are angry at you?
Here's the thing, in a nutshell, your wedding was high class, presumably at a fine place, you, the smart thinking new husband, takes off with the loot that was given to the BOTH of you, for whatever reasons you desire. The BOTH of you, after the wedding, after the reception, after all is said and done and you have greeted everyone that came to see you and your wife become entwined in matrimony, can then take the envelopes and view them, read the sentiments and place the money aside. If you are going on a honeymoon, you can take some with you. Put the rest in the joint bank account and use it for something you BOTH will use or need.
What you did embarrassed your wife and whomever she was with because you thought only of yourself and how much of a "take" you'd end up with. She was embarrassed because you were thoughtless and rude and she had just married you.
You should get on your knees, in front of her and her family and send a letter to all that were there and ask their forgiveness. For you are an ignorant baffoon, with no common decency or respect for anyone, not even your new wife, you should be asamed of yourself for even asking this question.
2007-06-22 08:05:02 · answer #4 · answered by ricrossfireclub 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is so wrong with what you did!?!?
Have you no idea? Really?
You wanted to make sure you made a profit on your wedding? Is that the reason people get married nowadays--to make a profit? I didn't realize it was a business deal.
You wife shouldn't just be embarrassed, she ought to be insulted that you obviously think more about how much money you "made" getting married to her than celebrating what should have been one of the happiest days of your life.
This was supposed to be "her day" and you were more concerned with money than being with her.
You're lucky that your wife and the other concerned guests only SWORE at you. She should have kicked your butt, and given you back your ring, you selfish greedy fool!
Oh, and I'm sure that lying to her (that you were just running off to use the men's room) is a great way to start off the marriage. Seek help!
2007-06-22 08:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Shrimp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That really was a pretty tasteless thing to do. Read this Dear Abby Column for an example of another couple with the same attitude, and take special notice of Abby's reply. That might give you some idea why people were upset.
Apologize. Admit you were wrong (I know, I hate doing that too). Write (another thing I'm sure we both hate) letters to the people you offended, admitting you were wrong. Better to eat some crow now and start your marriage on the right foot, than have her carrying this around ten years from now - and believe me, when you make someone mad on a big day like your wedding day, people do remember!
2007-06-22 07:57:31 · answer #6 · answered by L H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where shall we begin?
You used the expression "at MY wedding". It was for both of you. You will get rid of the "it's all about me" attitude or your wife will get rid of you. She sounds like a real woman and should be praised for the courage to stand up to you. I hope you learn appreciate her.
Wedding guests are not required to give you anything. That's why is called a gift and not an admission charge.
Abandoning your wife in a crowd when you haven't even been married for twenty-four hours is low.
You should invite guests that you want to share your special day with. If that isn't enough then don't invite them. They are already taking time out of their busy lives for you. If they give you a tangible gift in addition, then so much the better.
Your wife may have invited special friends who were not in a financial position to give a large gift, and felt that you were judging them.
2007-06-22 08:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by Ted 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so you got married just for the money? are you going to divorce her now that you have the money? anyways, money shouldnt have been on your mind at all but since it was, well you both need some counciling. 1 so she can losen up and well for you, eh well to find out how to make your wife happy. you should count the money after the celebration because the money is a gift not something that is required. the ceremony is just there to show and reconnect with distant family members, also a good time to network around, business ventures with family is more easiler than strangers off the streets.
2007-06-22 07:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the gambler once said, "you never count your money at the table"! No, not saying your marriage is/was a gamble but, there is a place and time for everything.
You simply gave the message, my wedding today was a way for me (notice I said "ME", you that is) to make money. How do you think that made your new wife feel? What was she, an "investment"???
A sincere apology and giving all the funds to charity might be a good thing to do.
2007-06-22 07:53:48 · answer #9 · answered by mtdavs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you do have a problem. It is normal to be curious as to how much money you received but you first crossed the line when you ABANDONED your guests to go count it. However, the biggest problem that you need help with is your expectation that others OWE you something for getting married. You invited them, therefore you owed them. I was just recently married (I'm male also) and I would not have cared if we did not receive a dime. You should be happy that your friends and family took the time and expense to attend your wedding. Sorry dude but I think you need to reevaluate what is important.
2007-06-22 07:54:47 · answer #10 · answered by ffulbon 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You were simply TACKY and CLASSLESS. Where on earth did you get the notion that a gift of a certain value is a requisite at a wedding ? In fact, where did you get the idea that a gift is required AT ALL ? You invited guests to celebrate your special day with you and your wife. Gifts are OPTIONAL.
I don't blame your wife for fuming. Seems she has married a social boor.
2007-06-22 07:50:51 · answer #11 · answered by acermill 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋