anybody have any good ones? Lame ones are ok too.;)
2007-06-22 07:38:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Sports ➔ Hockey
some of these are sooo lame they're good...like a horror movie
2007-06-22 08:17:10 · update #1
ok my really lame one is:
what do you call the space between hockey players ears? the neutral zone
2007-06-22 08:20:06 · update #2
I know quite a few. Have to get back to you later though because I have to run...later all. BTW Jenni, did you hear Giguere tried to commit suicide this morning??
2007-06-22 07:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Bob Loblaw 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
The Los Angeles Kings!
2007-06-22 19:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Music Maestro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a player Shaun Van Allen During a game he got knocked out. When he came to, the the doctors always ask some basic questions, one of which is "what's your name". The player didn't remember his own name. The coach said "Good, tell him he's Wayne Gretzky".
Another true story, Bryan Fogarty of the Quebec Nordiques was partying after curfew one night with a girl in his hotel room. Finally the girl she she had to go home and called her dad to pick her up. So who came to pick her up? His COACH (Jacques Demers)!
2007-06-22 15:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Mister Sarcastic 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good hockey jokes...
The current state of the game.
Gary Bettman.
All of the ridiculous rule changes.
Shootouts.
And as stated earlier, a show about hamburgers having more viewers the Stanley Cup Finals
To 99% of the US, hockey is a joke.
2007-06-22 16:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by roadrash172 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
A guy was drinking in a bar in Texas and they ran out of beer, the barman told the guy he had some Canadian beer, and the guy told him he didn't want any of that crap, he hated Canada, and the only good thing that ever come out of Canada was cheap hookers and hockey players. A huge guy stood up and said "Hey my WIFE is from Canada!" the guy said, "Oh, what position does she play?"
Some guys were talking about when they were kids, The first guy said we like to play hockey so much we played without skates. The second guy said we liked hockey so much we played it without a net. The third guy said "without What?" the guy said "A NET , A NET!" The third guy said we had to play with Annette, nobody else would play goal.
2007-06-22 16:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by Limestoner62 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
This one is pretty good
Montreal Canadiens Joke
In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.
The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"
He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".
The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"
The boy stated, "No he beats me too."
Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live?"
The child responded, "I want to live with the Montreal Canadiens!".
The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Montreal Canadiens?"
The boy exclaimed, "Because the Montreal Canadiens don't beat anybody!"
2007-06-22 18:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by sean262 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't jesus play hockey?
Beacuse he's scared to get nailed to the boards.
Montreal Canadiens Joke
In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.
The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"
He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".
The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"
The boy stated, "No he beats me too."
Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live?"
The child responded, "I want to live with the Montreal Canadiens!".
The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Montreal Canadiens?"
The boy exclaimed, "Because the Montreal Canadiens don't beat anybody!"
2007-06-22 16:34:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
this is more of a story. but it is good.
Kevin Denis was getting ready to fight another player so he goes up to him and says " hey you wanna go left handed?" the other guy agreed so they got into a fight and Kevin Denis just beats the crap out of him. so as they are skating to the penalty box he tells the guy " oh i forgot to tell you i am left handed."
2007-06-22 22:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by hooah89d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bruins trading Thornton (the next years league MVP)
Thats the first time any team in any sport has traded the next years MVP of the league
2007-06-22 16:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by *Killer B's* 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
John MacLean, who really should be the next coach of the Devils (why not, he's now bald like Lamiorello), was once asked by an opponent (I forget who), "Whose @$$ did you kiss to get on the All-Star Team?" (No one's: From 1988 until about 1995, basically the Devils' get-their-feet-wet years, he was one of the best players in the game.) MacLean came right back and asked, "Whose @$$ did YOU kiss to get in the League?"
Then there were the guys (I forget both their names) who got into an argument, and one of them said, "I can't understand you. I don't speak cement." ("Cementhead" is a common hockey insult.)
One name I do remember was Rod Buskas. In 1991, he was playing for the St. Louis Blues, and he took a puck right in the schnozz. He went down, got helped up, got his nose attended to, and went back out onto the ice, and the Blues won. A reporter asked him how he could play with a broken nose. He said, "I don't skate with my nose."
2007-06-22 14:57:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
The Toronto Maple Leafs.
2007-06-22 14:40:50 · answer #11 · answered by bgee2001ca 7 · 12⤊ 2⤋