Two black customers (husband and wife) told my coworkers and my boss that I'm a mean and not friendly skinny girl and that they don't like me. I know I shouldn't let this get to me , but it bothers me because they're the first ppl to say that I'm mean. Everyone else say that I'm very shy and sweet !! So, why do these ppl think I'm mean? I haven't even talked to them, geee they don't even know me. They're friends with everyone at my job except me....well I'm new to the office, so you think they're trying to get my attention so I can be their friends too.
Should I confront them and ask them why they think I'm mean, or should I ignore them?
2007-06-22 07:31:06 · 13 answers · asked by Bibi 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Often times people take first impressions and run with them. Quite possibly because you are so shy, this couple may be mistaking it for an "I'm too good to speak to you" attitude. Don't let it get you down. Make an effort to speak to them more often. Smile and be friendly. Over time they will realize that their assumptions of you were wrong. And if they don't come around, just know that you tried your best. But I am sure if you are a good person, they will see it.
2007-06-22 08:04:33 · answer #1 · answered by InquiringMinds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lesson that everyone needs to remember is that there are just some people that will dislike you. Sometimes people decide not to like, for irrational reasons (like that you're skinny). Also, they could interpret your shyness as unfriendliness and could be hurt.
The best thing to do in a situation like this is steer clear of this couple, and when you do see them, be polite and kind. Don't take anything they say personally. If they confront you about your "meaness" then let them know that you are interested in hearing what you did that upset them and how to fix it.
2007-06-22 15:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by katy_maj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps they think your shyness is standoffish, and maybe that you are disinterested or lack enthusiasm. If they are trying to get your attention to be friends thru meanness- well, that's surely an unique technique!! I'd say ignore they- if they are old enough to be married, they should wait to know someone ----- and to try to make trouble for you at work is just wrong. If anything, I'd want to talk to your boss and let him know you haven't even dealt with these folks, and you don't understand their reaction.
2007-06-22 14:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear these people say your mean or was it a told to you by a coworker?You could nicely ask them if you offended them in some way or go to your boss after work and them the problem.The one thing that you don't want to get into is alot of he said she said garbage.
2007-06-22 14:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by illminded 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you didn't do anything mean to them, then there isn't a problem with you, but rather with them. Since they are friends with everyone that you work with, maybe you should just try to talk to them and be nice to them. I don't think I would confront them though or else they might continue thinking that you're mean.
2007-06-22 14:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody gets along with everybody, and as time goes on you'll find more people that think you clash with them. Ignore it and continue being your shy/sweet self.
If they continue to harass you in this way, though, and tell people (including your boss) negative things, then I would definitely make a deal about it--talk to your boss, then with the people if necessary.
2007-06-22 14:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by Robeau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bibi, Bibi, Did you have a mean moment that these people witnessed? Ask yourself are these people managers? everyone knows that in life not everyone will like you and if these 2 people are those that oppose your sweet nature than keep it professional. It sounds like you have enough people at your job to enjoy your company...As the hip kids say let the haters hate...(I really dont like that word it is so harsh)
2007-06-22 21:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by ThunderCats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just curious why you mentioned their race, does this matter? I ask this because i assume you do not share the same race as them or that wouldn't be pointed out as an issue, thus might be a reason they consider you mean ( your co workers may sense dense) If you really care if your coworkers like you are not you can ask them, state why you think they may not like you, the response you get may not be the one you like but it may be the one that answers your question.
Good luck i hope you can work it out since you do have to work together
2007-06-22 14:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
my dear, you can't please everybody..before you get paranoid, make sure that it's YOU who they're talking about..and if you confirmed it then maybe they are just insecure..there are a lots of possibilities why they were able to say that. but the best way to know and to erase any doubts would be to talk to them privately and ask them why..it's okay to ignore, but i don't think you could do that for the rest of your life, i mean it's been weeks or months since you found out about such comment and you're now freaking out..so ignoring it is out...talk it over is in :) hope i was able to help you... :)
2007-06-23 07:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by MONNAX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it important for you to reference the fact that they are BLACK??
Would you feel differently if they were white? Latino? Asian?
I think you SHOULD confront them in a professional way and let them know how you feel. Apologize to them if they give you a reasonable answer to why they complained about you.
2007-06-22 14:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by brendita7277 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋