What are the psychological reasons people WANT to argue?

Question

I've had numerous encounters with people who, no matter what I say, will try to argue against my position. Also, many people, after an argument that wasn't resolved, would say that they just enjoy arguing. Why?

Extra note- I've spoken with people who disagree with my original point, then I consciously decide to accept their perspective, only to have them disagree with me (and their original position) again. Funny.

Thanks for the great answers!

Answer 1

So many people can only think in black and white. They can not recognize anothers point of view as valid because they think there is only right and wrong. If they win the debate then they are validated and feel like they are right, no matter the logic and reason possibly lacking in their argument.
I enjoy a good debate only if there is respect and good manners involved, I refuse to participate in an argument if I feel that I am being attacked, but give me a reasonable challenge and present your opinion in a logical way then I am more than happy to hear your side and explain my position.
I might not agree but at least I will understand better why someone else feels the way they do about a subject.
Unfortunately there are not a lot of people that I encounter that have the objectivity to try and understand another's point of view. Understanding doesn't mean you have to agree.

Answer 2

There are many common reasons for enjoying a good argument or, as my family calls it, debate. Most of it stems from insecurity or arrogance, we're the latter. Not only do we want to prove we're right, we want to prove that we're superior by making YOU change YOUR mind to agree with us. This, in theory, would make me the winner and therefore the superior person. As stated before, it's about dominance, being the biggest and best... and RIGHT. Hell, sometimes I'll debate a point I KNOW is wrong, or one I DON'T agree with, just to see if I can convince the other person. In the end, I don't REALLY believe it makes me superior to anyone, it doesn't, it's just interesting how easy it is to sway people's opinions. It can also come from insecurity in your own decision making. You're not sure if your right and, instead of just admitting that you don't know, you argue a point to get someone else to agree with you, thus, eliminating the possiblity that you could be wrong. Because if someone else agrees, you're probably right. At least, that's how most human minds rationalize.

BTW, Roosevelt was a master debater... but so was Hitler.

Answer 3

people have these things called egos. when they aren't nurtured they need attention. they found a way to get your attention didn't they?

i enjoy arguing if i go into an argument with an open mind. these are not "heated" arguments. if i think i could learn something then i will argue. i suppose that has to do with human curiosity and the desire to learn.

sometimes i like arguing with someone who has a strong position i do not understand -- i will gladly argue with someone on something like why someone would like george bush -- so far all answers have had no basis in logic or ethic. maybe one day someone will have a logical or ethical answer and they can persuade me to think gw is really a great guy. oddly enough they are the ones that often "lose it" and get overly emotional because their explanations are very easily countered with the most remedial logic.

i hope you don't view argument as a bad thing -- it can help you reinforce your thoughts and beliefs and teach to know yourself better. it can also teach you that you might not be on the best path for you.

Answer 4

Good question! The need to let it out, and reduce tension I guess. It could be a strong opinion they have to state, or it could be arguing for the need to be themselves without inhibitions, or to have a healthy intellectual debate and discussion. But how much of it is healthy? Are they willing to listen and hear your point of view as well, and dont make it seem like it's an argument, but just an exchange of thoughts, albeit, it could be stated in a passionate way? Or does the exchange seem more like an attempt to dominate and make the other person feel bad. Usually, we know when we are having a heated, enjoyable debate and an "argument". It could stem from a certain insecurity, and the need to feel important. As long as it is done with respect, and they are being good listeners as well, then I think it is fine and good.
Else, there's a problem.

Answer 5

I believe arguing is a form of ritualized combat for some. Some people will take a contrary position just for the fun of arguing. It is a show of dominance in a way. Uneducated people may go to bars to look for brawls in order to exercise that animal dominance. But more educated, sophisticated people have come to learn this was out of the question for them. So arguing becomes a sort of fighting sport fought in the territory of the mind.
Of course, true philosophy should be a quest for wisdom and must overcome this lower level of debate in order to be practiced sincerely.

Answer 6

I agree with a lot of what other people have said. I personally enjoy arguing in real life, but since it isn't usually a good trait, it's particularly fun to do on YA! instead. I have a really bad habit of arguing on here - if I see even a small statement that I disagree with!

Answer 7

Think of argument as a game. A language game to be exact. To understand our world better we must discuss. With different opinions these dissucsions become heated. Hence argument.
Psychologically, we are all the protaganist in the play. Every one of us thinks that the noumenal realm is happening for us. We are the main character and our feelings and thoughts are important and in an argument (meaning that we stand behind a specific point of view) this feeling is enhanced because we believe first and foremost that we exist as the most important being in the universe.

Answer 8

Partly, it's a cultural trait. For example, in Asian cultures (in China, Korea, Japan) it is rude to argue. You always have to agree and if you can't agree you must express your disagreement only by way of polite hints and allusions. In contrast, in Western cultures it is customary to disagree vehemently without being enemies. This is an advantage of the Western culture because arguing lead to a better understanding of issues.

Also, people of some professions (such as lawyers) tend to disagree with any statement anyone makes simply because they are used to arguing in court. It is their professional trait.

Of course, sometimes it gets on your nerves to always be contradicted no matter what you say. But on the bright side, it is better than being afraid to express your opinion.

Answer 9

pride, insecurity, closed-mindedness



*addition*
it must also be noted that the process of arguing produces a "rush" of emotion and chemistry throughout the body. when two people are arguing, they are both feeling this rush and enjoying it. This rush can provoke addiction (as does any rush) and when someone cannot control their temper, they are indeed addicted to arguing.

this can be dangerous because the cells in the body will, over time, loose the ability to accept vitamins and minerals and be "formed" to mainly accept that which the cell is addicted to. this addiction can be any substance, action, or emotion.

ever see people that just "look angry"? that is no accident. each one of their cells are addicted to anger. they are inviting anger and the things that provoke it because they are addicted to it.

ever see people that just "look lovely"? this too is no accident. their cells have become addicted to love. and vitamin "L" is quite nourishing. a seeming radience surrounds them and they invoke an infectious grace.

Answer 10

I like a fun debate every now and then. It's good for getting you thinking and it introduces you to points you may have never thought of before. It keeps my mind open, which I like, because I like to see where people are coming from and I like to learn new things and view things from different perspectives just to get a better understanding of them.