2007-06-22 05:39:23 · 16 answers · asked by Lilly L 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Lilly - Happy is not a place you get to. Happy is where you START.
According to Richard Carlson, author of "You Can Be Happy No Matter What," most people think happiness is conditional and outside of themselves or expect that it is a fleeting feeling based on the events in their lives or their circumstances. They don't realize that their happiness is inside of them IN THE MOMENT.
According to Carlson, most people are unhappy because most of their thinking is negative. Negative thinking IN THE MOMENT leads to a negative feeling IN THE MOMENT which leads to a negative mood. Then the negative mood leads to a negative feeling in the moment which leads to more negative thinking in the moment. It becomes a viscous circle.
The reverse is also true. Positive thinking in the moment leads to positive feelings in the moment which leads to a positive mood.
The trick is not to try to feel better or think positively, the trick is to think positive thoughts and to FEEL GOOD. When I feel down, I don't try to change what I'm thinking/feeling, I just DELIBERATELY start thinking positive thoughts about things I like..
When you start to think or feel negative, STOP THINKING ABOUT WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING and DELIBERATELY start thinking about things that make you happy. You have to make a deliberate effort. I just say things to myself like "I like the song Forever Young by Rod Stewart, I like chocolate chip cookies, I like the movie French Kiss" By changing my focus I immediately change my feelings and then my thoughts automatically go back to positive. You might want to make a "Happy" list and carry it with you for those times when negative thoughts/feelings get the best of you.
"To seek happiness outside of ourselves
"Is like trying to lasso a cloud.
"Happiness is not a thing;
"It is a state of mind."
Omar Khayyam
2007-06-22 05:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a bad relationship before. I was a pushover as well. Always put other people first. I also was MISERABLE. Until I met my fiance now. He made me feel like I was tasting life for the first time. Life just seems so much better with him, he's changed everything in my life just by accepting me and loving me, instead of taking advantage of me. He reminds me constantly that I'm a wonderful person. I guess you find happiness when you feel truly loved and cared for. At least for me. My fiance and I are getting married next Saturday!!! =D
2007-06-22 12:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by M. Ly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being happy isn't really a scientific matter, you can't really break it down to see what makes you happy.
you either are or you aren't. Not everything has to be gong perfect in you life for you to be "truly happy".
You can be truly happy and still have things go wrong in your life. It is all how you look at it.
2007-06-22 12:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by c8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unusual that many people believe that happiness would be a pervasive state of existence. Happiness is an emotional state like any other. It comes and goes. Getting hit by a car would decrease my "true happiness" until the emotions associated with that event have passed. It is, I think, immature and illogical to expect happiness to be a state that would exist moment after moment after moment. If while shopping today, you may lose a few moments of happiness if someone rolls over your foot with a cart. I doubt you would be happy about a car accident or a cart running over your foot.
The 'enlightened' approach, I think is to begin to reduce the affect of suffering emotions and increase the amount of happiness in one's life. I don't expect one to be happy if they lose a relative today. Happiness ebbs and flows.
Some people have many reasons to be unhappy which are exacerbated by repeated thinking about unpleasant events. When they learn better "thought hygiene" they return to happiness more quickly and more often.
Getting there is 'reality testing' your beliefs about happiness.
2007-06-22 12:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly happy. I got here by realizing that the only person who can make me happy is me. It fell into place after that.
2007-06-22 12:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by triggerlily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kinda going for just average happiness
I think happiness has a way of adjusting itself
I can say that I am WAY happier than I was 5 or 10 years ago
yet not as happy as I was as a kid or as a teen
2007-06-22 12:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By learning not to dwell upon the things I can't change. Life is too short & too prescious to sweat the small stuff. This is not dress rehearsal, this is the real thing. I have learned to truly stop & smell the roses.
2007-06-22 12:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are truly happy when you are content with your life, and always think good thoughts.
2007-06-22 12:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by niddlie diddle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it wasn't esay but for my 3rd marrage, I married my best friend. we know alot about each other and we don't fight about anything. also talking is the best always descuess everything. and we never go to bed angry, we work through it or compermise. what ever it take.
2007-06-22 12:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Jeff& Terri E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matches to the bridge, Luvvy.
2007-06-22 12:42:21 · answer #10 · answered by vanamont7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋