My son is off of summer school, and Ima stay at home mom and my son was out skateboarding yesterday and he asked me if his friend can spend the night, so I said yes by the way theyre 14 y old. I didnt call my husb bcuz he was at work so i figured he would be fine with it.. and I would mention it to him when he gets home he worked late so by that time the boys were asleep. he got upset and told me that mext time to let him know and he doesnt like anyone spending the night bcuz we have a 3 y old lil girl and he states "crap happens" she will be sleeping with us 2nite. so anyways he got upset.
2007-06-22 04:54:33 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you absolutely should have told your husband. It's his household too! He has just as much say as what goes on in the house as you do.
2007-06-22 04:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is right or wrong. If you want to prove who is right or wrong, you have the WRONG idea.
First question: does your husband know the boy b4? Most fathers know who their children hang out with and therefore have an idea whether these friends are "good" or "bad". This part you didn't elaborate. If that is a stranger, you unwisely exposed your family to danger -- whether it was petty theft or whatever horrible with his daughter.
Second question: with emails and voicemails, you have no excuse not to alert him. YOu should know his style --- he wanted to be informed. You had the means to do so and you didn't.
Men feel protective of his household. Women want their children to have fun. My 11 yr old son has his friends around all the time. But he also leaves his wallet around (about $60 in it). He would never think his friends would steal from him. But he doesn't have a clear account of how much money he really has either. So I told him to not have money around his room and not wait for misunderstanding to happen.
2007-06-22 05:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you are wrong. I wouldn't have thought that either does this boy have issues where your husband would think this. 14yr old boy and 3 year old girls usually don't play together. I would be more concerned if your daughter was 10 or 12. Is your daughters room far from yours and close to the boys where if he was a child molester he would be able to do something to your daughter?
Also if he was home and said yes too would your daughter have slept with you still?
Is it because your husband never seen this kid before?
I'm not getting the reason he is tripping either!!!
Men are controlling as* holes and this is just another thing you have to ask him first before you make a decision on your own.
2007-06-22 05:02:29 · answer #3 · answered by MYAB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a problem, unless you have left out an issue with the 14 year old. Unless he had plans that had to be changed due to a guest staying overnite why would he get so upset and why does the 3 year old have to sleep with you two? He is going to ruin the 14 year olds self-esteem with this type of behaviour
2007-06-22 05:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect that your husband takes his responsibility seriously. He was a young boy once and might have remembered his youth . Puberty is a weird time for boys. They have this new thing happening to their bodies and don't really know what to do about it.
Stuff does happen. Many young girls get molested and it ruins their whole lives.
Your son can go spend the night out but always talk over what goes on in your house with the hubby.
My sister in law used to give huge get togethers and everyone would sleep over....she would throw everyone on the floor of the den. I was alarmed but no one would listen to me...they were all drunk...she put drunk men right next to her young grand daughters...and teen boys right next to teen girls....Needless to say I gave up my room for the girls and the guys got the den...and I sat awake in the recliner guarding my grandsons throughout the night.
My brother divorced her ignorant butt
2007-06-22 05:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by debbie2243 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You where not out of line.
Your sons friend wanted to spend the night you where the adult in the house and made the descision.
By saying that things "happen" when you have a 3 year old in the house is stating that your son and yourself are a bad judge of character. Would your son seriously have a friend that would do horrible things to his sister?
2007-06-22 04:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by vixenfay 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Crap doesn't just happen. Do you know the guest kid? His parents? Everything OK with him and them?
What, the boys are in the 3 year olds bedroom? I hardly think so.
He needs to lighten up and I find it hard to believe this is the first overnite guest of your son.
My gosh I routinely have 7-10 boys overnite on any given Fri/Sat nite.
I think hubby has some deep issues
Old Guy
2007-06-22 05:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband just got caught off guard unless he does this sort of thing all the time. These days his concern shouldn't just be blown off though. I think your son needs to bring his friends around when your husband can meet them, so that he at least knows who your son is friends with. And frankly, if I worked all day and came home late, I'd be alittle ticked off to find a stranger in my home. Spur of the moment is fine, but everyone who lives in the home need to be informed.
2007-06-22 04:59:58 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband over-reacted. A LOT! Do you have to ask permission to do anything that relates to your children?
However, I could see his point of view IF: he had to get up super-early in the morning for work and they boys are super-noisy and kept him up. If that is the case, just don't let your son have friends over throughout the week: just on weekends!
2007-06-22 04:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by anezat83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Talk about being overprotective with his kids, which I can appreciate, but if your husband doesn't trust your son's friends, he needs to say that, and not assume the boy will try anything. I don't think you were wrong in letting him spend the night, but it is something you and your husband need to agree on.
2007-06-22 05:03:36 · answer #10 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, while you were within your rights as a parent to grant your son permission to do something, it probably was not the smartest thing to do it without mentioning it to the father. no one likes to come home to surprises, and in fact, you don't have to ask him for permission, either. all you would need to do is call him at work and say, i know you're busy, but i gave so-and-so permission to have a sleepover tonight. you could then put his concerns at ease, saying that the two boys will be together, and the 3 year old will be with you, and it would be perfectly fine. he might still be uncomfortable at first, but that's better than surprising him as soon as he gets home. good luck!
2007-06-22 04:59:24 · answer #11 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋