How do I cater to him?

Question

my husband says i have to do everything he says because he's the boss of me now? is this true? how does it work in america...im new here..?

Answer 1

You got ripped off. Divorce him & move on girlfriend. He is only going to use & abuse you. Give me his address. I'll sort him out.

Answer 2

For simplicity it does not work that way in America, and if it did that question would still remain irrelevant. That would probably mean that your marriage is based off of society, now how Martial does that sound?
Catering and submission to a man is good, but remember before your husband you were your own master and that is the way it shall remain. In marriage there are no "bosses" there are no "rulers" or "gods" unless you GIVE him or her the POWER.
Of course, marriage equals to a bond or a balance, if not when weddings were performed you would kneel to him in his high chair(to symbolize he is the boss and you are the servant).
Don't be a fool -the question is not true and even if you were new in this country wherever you go on this earth understand respect is just a minimum.
How do you cater to him? By loving him the best way you can by being yourself and trying be the best wife you can being somethings he "Say's-not everything".
And if that does not work then guess what harsh but true enough he did not accept you for who you were in the beginning.
GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Oh please, tell you husband he has to grow up. Nobody is a boss in a marriage! If he thinks that way and your allowing him to think that way, then you will have a miserable life. Evenutally, you will realize that this is no longer the way you want to be treated and that's the divorce.

The fact that you would even have to ask that question is not good.

A marriage is when two people fall in love and then make a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, till death do them part. If it's true love, they will naturally do anything to make each other happy. NOT THEMSELVES! Nothing should be selfish in marriage. You definitely have to make some sacrifices, but your spouse cannot take advantage of you and call himself the "boss".

Marriage is a balance. You both work together. For example, when he comes home from work (if he has a job) then you should want to make him dinner, but then he should want to take you out to dinner. Get my point.

Don't let any man play you for a fool, especially your husband!

Answer 4

NO!! It's a partnership where you are both supposed to be equal. I've been married for 23 years now. My wife is my best friend and my equal, in fact in some ways, she is the better person. Sit down and have a good talk with your spouse. Voice your concerns, be respectful to each other and don't say anything you might regret later. Then, if you can't work it out that way, find a good marriage counselor and try that. If that doesn't work, ask another question here and I'll be glad to suggest what you should do from there. Good luck.

Answer 5

That is not how things work here. A marriage is an equal partnership. However, some men are very old fashioned and believe women should cater to their husband's needs and do exactly as they are told. Modern American relationships are NOT that way. I hope you two can find a common ground. Explain to him that you KNOW that is not how things should work in this relationship. Be careful and good luck..

Answer 6

Here, ur as independent as u wish 2 b. He's trying 2 take advantage of u b/c u r from another country. Don't let him. He's NOT the boss of u at all unless u want him 2 b. Get some friends, a job, and an education and maybe a good divorce lawyer b/c I see him being a total jerk 2 u.

Answer 7

I'm sorry that your husband thinks he's your BOSS ... because you live in the U.S., and here there is 'equality for women' ... I'm married and my husband does 'work' and earn the money, but I am his 'full partner' and even 'help him' by analyzing some of the stuff he does ... so I suggest that you try 'spreading your wings' slowly, and maybe you can 'edge your husband' into a more 'natural way' of having a marriage ... if you can't then I suggest that you 'move out, move on, and move UP' with your life ...

Answer 8

No that is not how it works here in America. We try to work together here and 50/50 should be the way it goes in any relationship. He is taking advantage of the fact that you are new here. No one is the boss of anyone. You are your own person and derserve to be treated equal. He sounds very controlling. You are partners, not boss and employee. Be careful with this one.

Answer 9

It's ok to cater to your husband as long as he is handling business as a man should. Providing for you financially and making sure you and your household has everything you need. I must disagree that he IS NOT the boss of you. If he wants to be catered to he must treat you as a husband should treat his wife and not act as if you are his slave. He doesn't own you.

Answer 10

Honey, he should cater to you, especially in America. It is easier to get a man here than get a drivers license......He is crazy! In my marriage I let him pretend to be the "boss" in public but I am the boss at home financially, physically, in every way.

Answer 11

Hey Lisa,

I think he's just being rude and disrespectful of you. In a marriage, there isn't a boss or a subordinate. Not US, not anywhere.

Try to talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. Tell him you've made the decision to marry him and move to the US with him because you want to be a part of his life. But, make sure he understands that disrepecting you or considering you his slave isn't going to work.

If things get ugly or he's beginning to be hostile, call 911 and report him to the police. There are other support groups you can go to for help in your area. Just don't take crap laying down ....... that just isn't America.

Good luck :-)