Pregnant not not sure if I want to keep it.?

Question

Well I'm in the very early stage of pregnancy ( 3-4 weeks). I have 3 children already and love kids however am in the middle of a divorce (bad marriage-abuse, control freak, etc) this is not my husbands baby and not sure if I should keep the baby. I really don't want to abort; however I'm going through alot right now and not sure if this is the right decision. I have thought about adoption to a family member but I don't know if I could do that either. The father of this baby is definately in the picture. I do need to make a quick decision though. Feedback is greatly apperciated.

Answer 1

I'm so glad you don't want to abort the baby, and it's good you are considering adoption because that will give your child the best opportunities and chance at being in a happy and stable family.

Giving your child the chance to live is the greatest way to show your love.

Perhaps you could do an open adoption outside your family. That way you can meet the prospective parents, but they won't be breathing down your neck the rest of your life. Or you could do a closed adoption and not have to meet with the parents.

I'm sorry you have been through abuse and I commend you for protecting yourself and your children and getting away from that situation.

Answer 2

Hi,

I know divorce is already very hard.. I am going through one and I don't have children. Some days are really bad. In a situation and mental state like this, you will be under tremendous stress anyway, which may harm the baby's development - not to mention your future and well being of your other children.. It may be in all of your best interest to abort.

Talk to the father of the baby.. Is he realy supportive? Just think, if there is a chance that things may not work with the father of the baby and you go ahead and have the 4th baby any way, you will have to deal with 2 Jerks, and raise 4 children on your own.. This can can very stressful and expensive.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Well If it is a possibility that you will have a relationship with the new babys father then I would keep it. I would also talk to the father of this new baby and see how he feels. Perhaps he would want to raise it on his own if you were unwilling to. Adoption may confuse your other children. They would wonder why the new baby wasnt going to live with your family like all of the other ones have. Keep in mind that right now is a stressful time, but nine months down the road you may not feel that way. I would definetly noa abort the baby. It is not the babys fault that any of this is happening. You would not be able to forgive yourself. Good luck and I hope that you make the right choice.

Answer 4

I think that you already answered your own question, at least about whether or not you should terminate. As for whether you should adopt the baby out, you should probably think about your means of providing for this baby, and if your other children will suffer a reduced quality of life. Obviously, you must talk to the father of this new baby, and come to a decision together. You're still very early in the pregnancy, so you have some time to figure things out.

Answer 5

Being as the father is in the picture I think he should have some say so over this decision as well. But as far as a quick answer. No one can give you that. This is a decision between the two of you. What do you think you could live with? That is the question you have to ask. You need to know what he wants though. It is, after all, his child too.

Answer 6

You know what's going to happen when you ask the question here. You'll be subjected to accusations of murder, religious ranting, and all kinds of insults. This is a decision only you can make. I'm surprised that a woman with three children had unprotected sex, but what's done is done. Abortion is legal, but there are other considerations. At this point, the father of the child can't force you to give birth to this child. That's a fact, despite all the raving you're going to hear. So, think this through and decide for yourself. Each woman is really alone in this situation.

Answer 7

If the father of this baby is in the picture, you need to talk it out with him. Let the Ex-husband have his rants and raves. His opinion doesn't matter anymore. Your marriage is already over, so who cares what he thinks. At any rate, I would suggest keeping this baby. Everything always works out! Children are such a blessing, and why wonder, "what if"? Four children are not much more than three to care for. Trust me, my daughter was in your same position, and chose to keep the baby. Last October, beautiful little "Ava" was born. What a joy, what a smile! You may be going through hard times, but they are temporary. Let this baby signify a "new life" for you as well.

Answer 8

I am for abortion but only you can make that decision. If I where in that situation with all that stress and problems you are going through, I wouldn't put my body through a pregnancy.

You have been pregnant 3 times and know how your hormones change and how unbalanced your life and body become.

Have you told the father of your baby you might not want to have this child? Talk to him if he is involved he should be able to make this decision.

What ever you do, good luck I hope everything works out.

Answer 9

This isn't a puppy in the window situation. / We "choose" to purchase things in life daily. When a baby is "conceived" our choices don't create LIFE. Our actions lead to a life being made, but what we think doesn't make the pregnancy test show positive. Emotions change constant---you have to look at the [bigger picture]. What we think or feel doesn't stop miscarriages either. It's not about us in this thing called [life]. I'm a single mom, have been most of their lives. I've been down the abusive marriage too. Bills don't slow down, I know. You just don't know how many of your children will live to see adulthood. This world and life don't stop either. There is a reason each life is created! I would have the baby, let its father raise it if I couldn't find a way to. Or see if someone in his family is unable to get pregnant, let them adopt it. What in life is easy? God bless you.

Answer 10

Really, I mean really think this one through. I agree that it is your right and your decision to make, but it has to be a decision you can live with forever. Yes it might be easier now, but will you come to regret it? That is going to take some deep soul searching on your part. I have friends who where in a similar situation. One decided to keep the baby, and now her son is 3 and she can't believe she every thought of aborting. The other did abort and says shes thinks about it with regret on occasion, but not to the point that she considers it a problem. It comes down to what you can live with FOREVER.