she has been married befor and cheated on her first husband which also includes my son I have never liked the girl, although I have tried for my son's sake. Please tell me what can he do.
2007-06-22 01:58:38 · 23 answers · asked by susan l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He can stay in this abusive relationship and have his self respect and self esteem ripped to shreds or he can get out now before any more damage is done to his mental state. (I'm not suggesting he's crazy or anything just that constant hurt like that is as damaging, in it's own way as physical abuse.) She is the one that has problems and no amount of love from your son will make her change this self destructive path. He can get out and still love her though. If her were my son I would strongly suggest counseling - either joint or just him alone. As parents we hate to see our children mistreated or hurt in any way but sometimes all we can do is be there for them and let them know that we love them and support them (even when it goes against what we're feeling). I sincerely hope that your son can get this resolved w/o a lot more grief.
2007-06-22 02:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do without causing alot of hard feelings or a gap between you and your son is to tell him that you love him and you just want the best thing for him. But if he is choosing to stay with her, that is his choice.. soon enough he will come around and see that you were right all along and he will respect you for stating your opinon, telling him the truth, and standing back and still letting him make his own choices. The next time he is in a jam, he is more than likely going to take your advice. Just be there for him, let him vent to you.. Don't hide things you may find out from him though.. just question it so that he will have it in his head and ponder on it.. He will see the truth.. (love is blind.. but not forever).
2007-06-22 02:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by littlemama882003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he can still love her! This may be something that he is willing to deal with because he loves her so much and wants to be with her. Love is not perfect, most people have things going on in their relationships that other people would never dream of. It is none of your business and if your son is happy then leave them alone.
Let go of this and don't let it affect you. Don't react.
This will help everyone concerned.
2007-06-22 02:04:42 · answer #3 · answered by Keenu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your part by telling your son what you think about the girl. Then its up to him whether you listen to you or not. He is an adult now so let him make that decision. If its a mistake, he will learn from it and will be part of his experience.
2007-06-22 02:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has set himself up for heart break and he may have some low self-esteem problems. Tell him to focus on his future career plans and maybe that will help, if not only time will tell. Some of us must learn the lessons in life the hard way
2007-06-22 02:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by schneider2294@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, we all must make our own mistakes to learn. If he's making a mistake at all, love conqueres. Be a good mommy and butt out of your adult son's life.
And since you've taken the liberty to ask what you can do about it...I kind of feel sorry for the girl, she should be forwarned that her soon to be mother in-law hasn't cut those apron strings and may be a thorn in her side...not to mention ruin her marriage.
2007-06-22 02:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your going to have a ton of misery ahead of you if you don't back off. You may have raised him, but she has him. I know what it is like to see a son you love so much with someone you know is no damn good for them. Pushing to hard will push him away from you. Hopefully she wont get herself knocked up. That is where the bullshit really starts.
2007-06-22 02:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves her, there really is nothing that you can do. And for that you really need to let him decide for himself. People makes mistakes all the time, but you can not tell him he made a mistake. Be there for him he is really going to need someone who will not judge him, or make things worse. Be his helping hand, but yet don't criticize him for the decision he has made. Let him know that you too love him, and always will.
2007-06-22 02:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by Misty D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get involved. My mom and I got into a fight over the guy I am going to get married to and now I don't talk to her.. I am 27 years old and need to lead my own life and so does your son.
2007-06-22 02:06:28 · answer #9 · answered by movu101779 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're asking what he can do and you don't control that. The only person whose behavior you control is your own. If he wants to take the chances of STD's, an inconvenient pregnancy and all the rest, it's his choice. If he will listen, you might ask him what possible consequences there might be from her indiscretions. You can't tell him anything.
2007-06-22 02:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋